“Not that it mattered. You never noticed me. Not once. Meanwhile, I had to stare at that bikini top day in and day out, hoping I’d happen to be around when the elastic finally gave out.”
She punches me in the arm.
“Listen, these are the things 16-year-old guys’ dreams are made of.”
“Exactly. You were 16, and I was 21. If I had noticed you, it would have made me a complete perv.”
“You’ll be shocked to know my 16-year-old self did not care about ethical boundaries.” I wink at her.
“Oh my god.” She shakes her head.
“Anyway, Cameron and Tony started coming around and then I knew it was really over for me. You looked at him like he was a god. And I was so pissed, because he was shorter than me and nerdy. I couldn’t fucking believe it. The girls at school noticed me every time, but not you.”
“That was that summer, wasn’t it? Wow. I can’t believe it was that long ago.”
“Yeah. Then you guys were taking night swims. Thinking you were clever, and no one could see you because of the trees and the privacy fence. But my room had the perfect view. I’d sit up there listening to my favorite punk bands, playing video games, and then occasionally look down and see you guys making out.”
“So the story is that you were a Peeping Tom?”
I ignore her little dig and continue.
“Then one night I just happened to open the blinds at the right time. I saw him finally grab the ties of your suit and pull them, and that bikini top fell off. Not like a little bit, but the whole damn thing. I thought you were gonna freak out, but instead you just leaned back on the side of the pool and let him stare at you. Let me stare at you. Not that you knew. I was pissed when he touched you because I had spent weeks just trying to get you to look at me, and he just shows up and gets everything I wanted. So I decided to just pretend it was me and fuck, I came so hard watching you. The faces you made. I lived off those mental images for years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I…” I trail off because she’s staring at me, her mouth open, her eyebrow raised. I reach over and use the back of my knuckles to nudge her mouth closed and raise my eyebrow at her in return.
“So what you’re saying is, when you make it big in the NFL and I’m at a bar, I can point you out to my friends and be like ‘See him, yeah. I was his teen fantasy’?” She smirks, and I can tell she wants to joke about this, but I can’t.
“What I’m saying is, yesterday it felt like I was 16 again.” I swallow hard, the nerves stringing my muscles tight. I’ve confessed a hell of a lot in the last five minutes. Things I’d never planned to tell her.
Her face softens and her eyes search my face for a minute, her fingers absently flipping the corner of the book still half-balanced in her lap.
“Seems unfair you’re always getting to watch me,” she whispers at last.
“Which is why you should keep reading.”
TEN
Violet
I swearmy heart stops for a second when I realize what he’s saying. I stare at the book in my lap for a moment before I turn it over. All the doors open and shut in front of me at once, other options besides the one I know I’m going to take. Other options I should take because he’s my best friend’s baby brother. Because he’s out of my league, and he’s my roommate who’s separated from me by one thin wall. And let’s be honest, I’m already in one mess with a man I can’t make sense of.
But I don’t take the smart road.
I start to read instead.
“‘I do,’ I answer him. ‘Although in my fantasies I sit on your face, so you shut up and fuck me with your tongue.’ I can see the effect my words have on him, because he reaches for me immediately, dragging me across the table to the edge. He drops to his knees and pulls my skirt up, and I can feel his hot breath against my sex…”
I keep my eyes glued to the pages in front of me but in my peripheral vision I watch Ben’s hands slide under the waistband of his sweatpants. He raises his hips up and drags his boxer briefs down, and I can see the outline of his cock pop free under the material of the sweatpants. My tongue darts out to wet my lips as I watch his hand move up and down. He’s careful to keep everything PG-13, but it feels X-rated. Maybe even more elicit because of it. My skin feels hot, and I can barely stand it.
“Keep going Violet. Your voice is fucking sexy,” Ben rasps beside me, dragging my attention back to the book.
I realize I’d stopped reading and I feel a blush tinge my cheeks as I scan the page again, trying to find where I’d stopped.
“I can feel his hot breath against my sex. His hands spread me further, his eyes eating me up just before he leans forward to consume me. There’s no other way to describe it. The way his mouth and tongue move over my flesh…”
I keep reading the words, doing my best not to lose my spot on the page again but I can hear Ben’s breathing getting harder, and his hand works up and down. Slow and then fast, short strokes followed by a few long pulls.
Then I cheat. I do the thing that I shouldn’t, because he gave me the courtesy of not doing it yesterday. But I can’t help myself. I look at his face. And holy fuck is he beautiful like this. His plump lower lip pulled up between his teeth, his brow furrowed, and his eyes closed in concentration as he chases his orgasm.
I want to lean over and kiss him. At least that. In reality I want to do so much more, because I want to be the reason he looks this way. I want it to be my hands and my mouth on his body.
