Alyssa continued to fuss over Damien, much to his annoyance. “I’m fine,” he complained.
“You don’t know that,” she said. “You could have died, Damien. I would have been a widow. What would I have done without you? What would all of us have done without you?”
Realization hit Tommy like a bolt of lightning, and his heart felt as if it stopped for a second.Damien could have died. Damien could have died. Damien could have FUCKING DIED!Tommy’s heart flipped upside down and bounced in his chest. Then everything cleared. The frustration that had clouded his mind and left him feeling like he was sailing without a destination was peeled away in an instant. Like layers of gauze blocking his vision were suddenly removed, he looked at his life with new eyes.
The uncertainty and questions about the future that had been plaguing his heart over the last few months seemed miniscule and inconsequential now. His career wasn’t over just because Immortal Angel had done it all. The lack of privacy and constant recognition didn’t feel as burdensome any longer. He missed Immortal Angel. He’d had enough.
It didn’t take the uproar of the fans, the backlash from his bandmates, nor praise from mighty Metallica’s frontman. Not even Lucas’ sad little face could convince Tommy to return to Immortal Angel. It was the fact that Damien could have died. Not only did it mean that he could have lost one of his best friends, but it would be the end of Immortal Angel. There would be no moving forward without Damien. How could Immortal Angel move forward without any single one of them? Now he knew exactly how his bandmates felt when he made the announcement that he was stepping away from the band and why they were so upset and felt as if their futures were ripped away. He couldn’t believe no one smacked some sense into him.
In the back of his mind, tucked away in a tiny little secret compartment, Tommy knew that when he wanted to return to Immortal Angel, they would be there waiting for him with open arms. That’s why he was in no rush. That’s why he didn’t want to commit to coming back to the band. That’s why it was so easy for him to say he was done, and he was out. But when faced with the possibility that Damien could have died, he realized that Immortal Angel would have died as well. He’d lose, not only a man that was like a brother to him, but the band he loved.
Immortal Angel was an extension of his soul, and he loved every second on stage. The lack of future goals and achievements that he stressed about over the last few months, the complaints about his lack of freedom, and everything else, flew out the window. He wanted to be on stage with his brothers. He wanted to perform for the world. As far as what the future would bring and where his career was headed, the possibilities didn’t exist yet because they haven’t been written in time. He didn’t know the future, so why was he trying to figure it out? The hand of fate decided his future, not him.
“I’m sorry!” he shouted.
Everyone quieted at his outburst, startled into silence.
“Why are you sorry? “Angel asked.
“Because I’m an idiot. I’ve been a jerk. I’ve had my head up my ass, just like Damien said. I don’t know how you guys put up with me. I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“What the hell are you trying to say?” Damien touched his forehead. “I got a head injury, and you’re making my head hurt.”
“I’m saying that I don’t know what was wrong with me. I guess I was going through a mid-life crisis. And I’m sorry. I don’t want to walk away from the band. Immortal Angel is in my soul. No one else is playing guitar in this band. That’smyjob. No one else is going to saunter up to Angel while he sings and invoke the passion in his voice like I do. I belong on that stage. That’smyspot. I’m not done with the band. I think the monotony of playing show after show was just getting to me. And the constant lack of privacy can be really annoying. But it’s a small price to pay. I miss you guys. I love making music with you. It’s not just about playing on stage. It’s about us. And I love that. I also love that I took time away from the band to be with my family. I needed it. I needed to disconnect. I needed a break. And you know what? If I need it again, I can take a few months off. We can all take a break and go on vacation together and do nothing for a month. Or two. Or three.”
He looked at the stunned faces surrounding him. Some of them wore gaping smiles. Others had their mouths open in shock. But they were all flabbergasted and unable to speak. “Say something,” Tommy demanded, nervous about the lack of response. “You want me back. Right? You’re going to take me back. Right? You have to.”
Happy laughter floated from Angel’s mouth like a melody. “I knew it. I knew this was some crazy nightmare that was going to disappear with the blink of an eye.” His laughter turned into a whimper, and then a sob. Angel covered his face with his hands and broke down right there at the dining room table in front of everyone.
Tommy’s heart hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces. He’d never seen Angel sob like this before and felt like a heartless jerk for not realizing how upset Angel was about this whole thing. He went to his husband and placed his arm around Angel’s shoulder. “Take it easy, A. Everything’s OK.”
Angel lifted his face, fanned his eyes, and let out a half sob/half laugh. “Don’t mind me. I’m a mess.” He wiped the tears from his eyes with the heels of his hands. “And, of course, we’re taking you back. I can’t believe it took you this long to figure it out.” Angel accepted some tissue from Jessi and swiped at his nose. “Tonight has been one hell of a night. It started off in a weird place with a confrontation with the paparazzi. I was so angry. And then as the night progressed, we were having a great time. We were enjoying ourselves and having fun.” He swallowed hard and put his hand to his chest. “Then the stage collapsed. You fell, and we didn’t know if you hit your head. Damien was missing. We got thrown out of the Ballroom and didn’t know what the hell was going on. We thought the worst. My heart was in my throat the whole time. I was so scared. And then it all turned around. Damien was OK. You were OK. And now this announcement.” Angel tried to steady his quivering lips but failed. “What a roller coaster, but tonight couldn’t have ended on a higher note. Welcome back, my prince.”
As Tommy received a hug from Angel, and his friends cheered and patted him on the back, Tommy tried to process how hard Angel had taken his decision to leave the band. “I’m sorry, A,” he whispered, so no one else could hear. “I didn’t know you were taking it so hard. You should’ve told me. You should’ve talked to me. I don’t know if it would have changed anything, but at least I would’ve known how you felt. Maybe it would’ve hit me sooner how stupid I was being.”
“It needed to be your decision. I needed to let you figure it out for yourself.”
As soon as Tommy and Angel broke their embrace, both Jimmy and Damien sandwiched Tommy in a hug.
“Glad to have you back, man,” Jimmy said.
“It’s about damn time,” Damien added.
The sound of Metallica’s “Sanitarium,” an odd choice for anyone else’s kids to be playing, made everyone turn toward the living room.
“Look at our kids.” Jimmy’s smile radiated with extra brightness. “They’re incredible.”
“Let’s join them,” Tommy suggested.
Now that the kids had an audience, Tessa came alive. Abandoning her dessert, she stood next to Lucas and began to sing along with the lyrics to the Metallica cover. She used her spoon as a microphone and, with one foot extended forward, swayed back and forth as she rocked out to the song. She didn’t know all the words but knew more than most five-year-olds, and she either improvised by making up something or hummed to fill in the gaps.
Tommy was still astounded by her voice, which held unprecedented power and pitch for a child her age, obviously something she inherited from Angel. These kids were destined for stardom and a not-so-crazy thought entered Tommy’s head. Mason was already in front of the camera and making headlines with his aptitude on the drums. Lucas had been jamming with Mason since he could hold a guitar, and Tessa had been attempting to sing along with them since before she could even form words. These kids were the prodigy of Immortal Angel, and the stage was their destiny.
The idea that the kids would one day form their own band had always been on the forefront of everyone’s mind, but never really taken to heart. A vision suddenly flashed through Tommy’s head like a streak of lightening. It felt more like a premonition than wishful thinking and stunned him with its authenticity. In his head, all three kids were grown and famous in their own right. They were performing in their own band at Madison Square Garden to a packed house, and Tommy stepped on stage to join them for a song, instead of the other way around. It was crazy because it was so real. He didn’t know if it were a deep-seated dream that he didn’t realize was in the back of his mind or if it would even come true. The kids would have to decide what they wanted to do with their lives, after college, of course. The little glimpse into the future opened up a ton of new adventures to look forward to.
Tommy leaned back on the couch and wrapped one arm around Jessi and the other around Angel. As he watched the kids, with his husband and wife, he was overwhelmed with a feeling of endless possibilities to come.
So much had happened tonight, and it basically shocked him like an ice bath. It woke him up and made him realize that he had so much to look forward to. He didn’t know where his career would take him in the future, or what new heights he could reach professionally, but that was the fun of it. Life was an adventure. No one knew what the future would bring. He was looking forward to whatever new paths or journeys his music took in the years ahead, but that all took a back seat to the road that lay ahead for his life with his kids and Jessi and Angel. Because nothing was more important than family.
