A huge smile spread across Tommy’s face at the way Angel described his recipes. They always sounded mouth-watering and didn’t disappoint, but Angel took it so seriously. “It’s still a big loaf of meat,” Tommy teased. “Right, hon?” He turned to Jessi to enlist her help in chiding Angel and saw that she held the notebook that he had filled with halfhearted future goals.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Nothing.” Embarrassed at his feeble attempts at trying to find meaningful objectives to achieve, he tried to take the notebook from her, but she pulled it out of reach.
“No. This isn’t nothing. I thought you were writing music.” She looked down at the page again. “What is all this?”
Angel looked at Tommy, confusion furrowing his dark brows. “You weren’t composing?”
Tommy quickly snatched the notebook from Jessi’s hand before she pulled it away again. He reviewed the things he’d written and the notations next to them. The first thing on the list was to take a trip around the world. He realized that he’d done that at least half a dozen times with Immortal Angel and had drawn a line threw it and added a check mark. The next thing on the list was to cook a gourmet meal for Jessi and Angel, but it sounded cheesy, and he had written the word “lame” next to it. The third thing on the list was to get a pilot’s license, but it wasn’t really something he was interested in. It just sounded cool. So, he had scribbled over it. The last item on the list was to visit the moon, and he almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it.
“Mi amor?” Angel questioned, when Tommy didn’t answer.
“It’s nothing,” Tommy repeated, and then flipped the cover of the notebook closed, sealing away his pathetic list. “It’s stupid.”
“No. It’s not.” Jessi put her hand to his cheek and turned his face toward her. “I would love it if you cooked dinner.” She glanced at their husband. “I’m sure Angel would love it too.”
Angel’s eyes sparkled. “Do you want to help with dinner tonight? I could show you how to make pulpeta. It’s not hard. The kids help me all the time. Tessa practically makes it better than I do.”
An amused smile covered Tommy’s lips. He loved how animated Angel was about cooking. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He sighed. “It’s not really about cooking. I was just thinking about how fantastic my life is and all the things I’ve done. All the thingswe’vedone. We’ve built a beautiful life together. I have the both of you. We have the best kids in the world. Professionally, I can’t imagine the band exploding any more than it already has. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. And more.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Jessi asked.
“I don’t know. I just . . .” He sighed again, and his shoulders dropped. “My life skyrocketed so fast. I think it hit a plateau. Where do I go from here? I just think I’m tapped out.”
Angel placed a loving arm around Tommy’s shoulder. “We can look forward to growing old together.”
Tommy grunted a laugh. “That’s what I have to look forward to? Getting old?”
Now, Jessi was the one to laugh. “I don’t know about either of you, but I have no intention of growing old. I plan on fighting it with the best skin care available.”
As if she needed it.
“Seriously,” she continued. “Stop worrying, baby. You always overthink everything. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. You may think you’ve done it all, but then some major event will happen and change everything.”
“I hate that he’s questioning his life,” Jessi told Angel. “I don’t have any regrets. Do you?”
“Of course not.” Angel spooned the sauce over his pulpeta, bathing it in the aromatic flavors, then returned it to the oven. “I don’t think he has regrets, though. I think he’s lacking motivation. He doesn’t have a goal to put his finger on, and it’s causing him to search for one. That’s what I got from what he said.”
Jessi pondered Angel’s assessment. The last few years had been wonderful with little to no missteps. They’d encountered plenty of hardships in the beginning. They endured their fair share of trouble, and then some. It started with Tommy announcing to the world, including his family and to himself, that he was bisexual. Then they both had to explain that they were entering into a polyamorous relationship and bringing Angel into their lives as an equal partner. They even had a commitment ceremony to make it official. While all that was happening, the band had to deal with the label and backlash from the media about their announcement. There was drama with Mason’s birth mother that Jessi never wanted to think about again. Thank God that horrible woman took off and Audra assumed the role of Mason’s mother. They survived a plane crash while on their honeymoon. Jessi had a difficult first pregnancy with Lucas, at the same time Tommy faced a major health issue. But everything since then had been absolutely magnificent, and they deserved every bit of it.
Their relationship was rock solid. The kids were healthy and filled with more talent than anyone dreamed. Jessi’s design studio was thriving worldwide. And Immortal Angel had skyrocketed to the top with one mega hit after another. The band continued to stay at the top of the charts, and their popularity continued to grow exponentially year after year. Jessi’s high spirits at the reflection of their amazing life and achievements wilted a little as she realized that Tommy had a point. They had everything they could possibly ask for and more. But that didn’t mean they had nothing to look forward to.
“Dinner smells amazing,” Tommy said, walking into the kitchen carrying his guitar. “I smelled it all the way in the great room. When’s it going to be ready?”
“I project another twenty to twenty-two minutes for the absorption of peak flavors to make my pulpeta a culinary masterpiece on the palate,” Angel announced.
Both Tommy and Jessi burst out laughing.
“How can a punk rock god be such a nerd in the kitchen?” Tommy asked.
Angel put his palm to his forehead with a dramatic sigh. “Tommy Blade, when will you ever understand the dynamics of cooking? Perhaps you’d like to try your hand at tostones and mojo verde?” His eyes lit up. “It could be a checkmark next to one of the items in your notebook.”
Tommy’s forehead creased at the mention of his notebook, and Jessi saw Angel instantly regret his last statement.
“No. I’m not really interested in cooking. I just didn’t know what else to put down.” Tommy paused, and his blond brows drew together more significantly. “That’s sad. Isn’t it? That I couldn’t think of anything to put on my list of goals?”
“No,” Jessi said, firmly. “Don’t think about it. Just do things as they come. Be spontaneous about it.”
