Derek swiveled around looking for his phone, which he never bothered to bring with him into the bedroom last night. He retrieved it from the counter, saw the missed calls and voicemail, and wanted to kick himself for drinking so much.
“Don’t listen to it,” Travis warned, before Derek was ableto hit the voicemail button. “I probably said something stupid. I was pretty drunk.”
“I know the feeling.” Derek tossed the phone aside, and sat back down across from Travis. And then his mind began to race. Had Travis called last night with the intention of hooking up? He silently berated himself for forgetting his phone and missing the opportunity to spend the night with this hot,sexy and sensitive guy. But it really wouldn’t have mattered if his phone had been sitting next to his head on the pillow. Passed out from too much alcohol, he wouldn’t have heard it anyway. “Why’d you call?”
“I don’t sleep much at night. I wanted to hang out, and I don’t know, talk.”
“Talk?” Derek was hoping for a lot more than that.
“Yeah.” Travis movedhis eggs around with his fork and tightened the grip on his coffee cup. “It’s really lonely on the road, you know? And you were really easy to talk to the other night.” He dropped his fork and crumpled a napkin in his hand.
Travis was quiet after that, while Derek’s heart thudded in his chest, waiting for Travis to continue. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“I don’tknow.” Travis focused on his coffee cup. “Nothing really.” He paused and fingered the handle of his cup. “Like I said, I’m not close with my bandmates, and I’m by myself most of the time, so it was nice that we connected.”
“Don’t you have close friends at home that you can call and talk to? Family?”
“I have friends, I guess. But I wouldn’t exactly call them close. Asfar as family . . .” Travis trailed off without finishing his sentence. He lowered his head so his long blond-tipped bangs covered his eyes and obscured some of the emotion in his face. It didn’t conceal the pain that twisted his normally carefree smile into a tortured grimace though, and it tugged at Derek’s heart. He didn’t push the guy. If Travis wanted to talk, he’d let the guy speak at his ownpace.
Travis looked over his shoulder to check if Jeremy and Alan were within earshot. The two were still goofing around in the living room, caught in their own little bubble, and not paying attention. Derek stuck his phone into the docking station on the counter and pulled up his playlist, as an added buffer, because he knew Travis had something to say. Fozzy’sJudasfilled the spacearound them, sealing their conversation from traveling into the next room, and offering an extra layer of privacy.
Travis understood what Derek had done, and notably relaxed, but the frown that turned his beautiful pink lips downward never eased up, and Derek hated to see the sadness in Travis’ face, especially since the guy was usually so cheerful and breezy. Maybe it was a mask.Maybe that’s why he was so hell-bent on having a good time. Otherwise, he’d be forced to deal with whatever was going on inside his head. Derek refilled Travis’ coffee cup and waited.
Travis looked up with a tiny glimmer of a smile in his eyes, not that his mouth cooperated. “Thanks,” Travis said, as he exhaled.
“I thought you needed a refill. You seem to love coffeeas much as I do. We’re both on our third cup.”
“God bless the coffee bean.”
A small laugh burst from Derek’s mouth, amazed that Travis could make a joke when he looked so sad. “You’re really funny, you know that?”
This time, a small smile broke through Travis’ heavy demeanor. “I’m as serious as a heart attack. I can’t function without coffee.”
“Me neither.” Derek waited for Travis to continue, but the guy just went back to eating his eggs. “So, what about family?” Derek questioned. “I got an older brother and sister. What about you?”
Travis shook his head. “I grew up in the system.”
“What system? You mean foster care?” The idea was so foreign that Derek couldn’t comprehend such a life, shuffled from family tofamily, not finding one that would accept you as their own, and probably just in it for monetary gain from the state.
Travis nodded, as if he didn’t want to acknowledge it with words.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Did something happen to your parents?”
“I never knew my father.” Travis dropped his fork, let go of his coffee cup, and curled his fingers into hispalms. “My mother . . . she walked away when I was four.” His words were slow, as if saying them aloud hurt, although he looked more embarrassed than anything else, as if it was his fault that his mother took off.
Derek blinked rapidly a few times, not knowing how to respond. He had absolutely no fucking words. None. Travis’ mother abandoned him as a toddler. His brain couldn’t registerthat someone would do that to their child. Derek’s mom, Jeremy’s mom, Alan’s mom, and Brandon’s mom were all wonderful, doting mothers. The four of them came from loving families, and had the full support of their mothers and fathers. Hell, Derek still called his mother every week. It sounded a little pathetic that a man in his late twenties still called his mother regularly, but he traveledand she worried. He had no qualms or hang-ups about calling his mom just to say that he missed her or that he loved her. She was his mom.
Unsure what to say for fear of making Travis feel worse, Derek was quiet. They sat in silence and ate their food. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. It was just a pause while one friend waited for the other to continue to bare his soul.
“My mother was a drug abuser.” The words came easier for Travis this time, and he looked at Derek as he spoke. “She was in and out of detox a lot, so I spent most of my time in foster care. Eventually the courts took me away altogether, and she never tried to get me back.”
“That sucks.” The words weren’t comforting and didn’t express enough sentiment. They just came out,and Derek wished he would have kept quiet.
“I’m over it.”
Derek saw right past the façade. Travis didn’t look over it at all. Deep-seated issues lurked behind troubled eyes. Warning bells went off inside Derek’s head like a five-alarm fire. Getting mixed up with Travis was a disaster in the making. It was the last thing he needed. He should keep their relationship strictlyfriends. A sexual relationship was absurd, even though they both admitted neither wanted a commitment. Still, it was a stupid idea, and he should make it clear that nothing would happen between them. He reached across the table and covered Travis’ hand with his palm. The skin-on-skin contact sent a tingle up Derek’s arm the moment their hands touched. His heart beat faster. His throat went dry.He inhaled a deep breath and held it for a second. His cock twitched. “Look, Travis, I know we have something between us, but . . .” Derek swallowed. The guy deserved a break. He was shy, sweet, and softhearted, and Derek couldn’t reject him. “I’m here for you.”
Travis’ eyes bore into Derek’s. “Thank you. I’m glad we’re friends.”
