2
Harborview
Five weeks after the wedding
Ashleigh
“Are you sure?”I asked the doctor.
The woman, maybe only ten years older than I was, nodded and put her hand on my shoulder.
“Sure as can be. Blood tests don’t lie. Based on what you told me, it looks like you’re eleven weeks along.”
I knew exactly how far along I was, because I knew down to the minute when I’d gotten pregnant. In Vegas.
“But it doesn’t make any sense. I’m on the pill.” As if, somehow, that made the reality moot.
“Yes, but you said you’d only just started. You were told, or you should have been told, it takes a full cycle for the pill to be effective.”
Immediately, my hands went to my stomach where I thought I’d been feeling a little fuller. “Is it going to hurt the baby? That I was still taking it even after I was pregnant?”
“There’s no evidence the hormones in the birth control pill will have an impact on the fetus, but you should stop taking it as a precaution. After all, there is no need.”
Because I was pregnant. Pregnant with Marc’s baby. The fact still hadn’t registered.
“Ashleigh, I know this must be a surprise because it obviously wasn’t planned. Do we need to talk about options for ending—”
“No!” I cut her off. “No. I’m not ending anything. I’m just in shock.”
The woman nodded. “Do you think your husband is going to be happy about this? I know you’ve only recently married, but surely this will be a good thing for both of you.”
No. My husband was most assuredly not going to be happy. I bowed my head and tried to wrap my head around the limited time I had left. How many more weeks before the pregnancy became evident?
I faked a smile for the doctor, who was still waiting for a response. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled. Just some bad timing. That’s all.”
“I’ve only been doing this for five years, but one of the things I’ve learned is that babies seem to come on their time, not on ours.”
I forced another smile. Finished with my visit, I scheduled my next appointment, then left the office to wander the streets of downtown Harborview without seeing or hearing anyone around me.
There was a buzz in my head, which made me think driving wasn’t smart. Beyond that, I had this sense I needed to keep moving. If I stopped, I would have to think of too many things.
Like how I would tell Marc. What he would say or think.
He wouldn’t be happy. He was trapped in prison. He had no sense of the future after he got out. The burden of a child on top of all that. It was unthinkable. Once again, I’d derailed his life by doing something as stupid as telling him he didn’t need the condom. Because I hadn’t wanted anything to come between us. Ever.
How many more times was he going to accept that I taken all of his choices away from him?
How long until he started to truly resent what I’d done to his life?
Then there was Evan. I couldn’t hide something like this much longer. Maybe three weeks? A month. I was rail thin after being sick this past month, not to mention the stress of those weeks leading up to the wedding. The bump in my stomach would be noticeable soon. Especially, given his tastes when he picked out my dresses. He liked things simple, elegant and form fitting.
Could I start eating enough to put on weight everywhere, that might hide the pregnancy?
Of course, eating was hard to do when I was still constantly battling nausea. That had been what had finally sent me to the doctor. I thought maybe something was off with the pill, or maybe it was related to stress.
I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Where before I felt the need to keep moving, now I was frozen.
A baby. An impossible baby now, when everything was at stake.
