The sound of a chair falling woke me up even before the light flashed on, instantly blinding me, and causing me to blink wildly while clutching the nearest weapon I could find, which just happened to be Kelso.
“Woof,” he barked, then promptly ruined the effect of killer guard dog by wagging his tail, and rolling onto his back when two men strolled into the room.
“Help!” I screamed, and, releasing the dog, threw myself across the massive bed to where both my cell phone and the hotel phone were sitting. “Help, help!Aidez-moi!”
Before I could blink, one of the two men was sitting on the side of the bed, pinning my arms down so I couldn’t reach the nightstand.
“Now, now, none of that, my sweet,” the man holding me said, his voice rich with a French accent. He had black hair that was swept back off his brow in movie star fashion, and a matching light dusting of beard stubble. He was dressed completely in black, and would probably be considered quite handsome, but I didn’t think he held a candle to Merrick’s austere gorgeousness. “We don’t want people to get the wrong impression, do we?”
“On the contrary, I think Idowant them having the wrong idea. I want them all to have the wrong idea. Who are you?” I asked, squirming in the bed when I realized with my arms captured as they were, I couldn’t pull the sheet up. I was wearing a deliciously wicked nightgown made from a lovely apricot satin, and positively dripping with champagne lace. I knew it would have my father spinning in his grave, not just because of the price, but because it left little to the imagination where it concerned my front parts. “Let go of me! And stop staring at my breasts.”
“Really?” The man glanced from my chest to my face, laughter visible in his eyes. “You wearthat, and don’t want me to look?”
“Let go of me,” I repeated, trying to kick my legs out from under the sheet at the same time I twisted my arms in his grip. “If you don’t, I’ll have my dog attack, and he goes for the noogies first. They taught him that at attack-dog school.”
“Would this be the same dog that is currently having his belly scratched?” The man loosened his hold on my wrists, allowing me to jerk my hands free. Instantly, I grabbed the sheet and hauled it up to my chin, glaring first at the man sitting next to me, then at the other man at the end of the bed, who was, indeed, scratching Kelso’s hairy white belly.
“What are you doing here? If you intend to kidnap me, I will warn you that I won’t go easy. I will scream the hotel down, and Kelso—for the love of heaven, dog, stop moaning in happiness. These are intruders! Kelso will attack if I give him the command to do so.”
“Do you know—” The man sitting next to me spoke in a companionable voice. “That sort of a threat simply makes me feel like a gag would be a good idea. What do you say, Ciaran?”
The other man slid a glance toward me and shrugged. “Not into that, myself, but if it makes you happy, I have no objections.”
I had gasped in horror when the first man mentioned a gag, but when the second man didn’t try to dispute such a heinous idea, I immediately switched my attention to trying to figure out how I could escape the room.
“It’s not my preference at all. At least, not for sex, which is what I assume you’re implying.”
Would it be better to try to knock the man next to me out with the lamp, and then call down to the desk for help, or should I smash him with the lamp, then run out of the room, racing down the hallway trailing expensive satin and lace in the best gothic heroine fashion?
“Assuming makes an ass out of you and me,” the second mansaid with the air of one delivering a bon mot. I stared at him in surprise. What sort of kidnapper trotted out the type of saying that a grandmother might use? The man didn’t seem to think anything of it, though. He just glanced around the room while still scratching Kelso. “Are you sure you got the room number right?”
Pickle juice! The plan for calling the front desk was clearly out, because if I bashed the man sitting on the bed on the head, Mr. Likes Dogs was sure to do something other than stand there and scratch Kelso’s belly.
It would have to be the bash and dash plan.
“Fairly certain, yes.” The man sitting next to me looked at me, his eyebrows high. “And who might you be, my lovely one?”
I took a deep breath as if I was going to answer him, instead suddenly lunging forward, shoving him off the bed at the same time I grabbed for the lamp and yelled, “Your worst nightmare!”
The lamp was bolted onto the table. I lay half off the bed, staring in horrified surprise at the lampshade that came off in my hand.
“Hardly that,” the man who had been with Kelso said, strolling over to stand over his buddy. “I know the sorts of nightmare Han has, and they don’t often include scantily clad redheads. What do you intend to do with that shade? Beat him about the head and shoulders with it? I applaud your intentions, but have doubts as to the effectiveness of the plan.”
“I ... the lamp ...” I gestured toward the object in question with the lampshade. “It’s stuck on the nightstand.”
The man on the floor was laughing openly, wiping his eyes before accepting his friend’s hand and getting to his feet. “I can’t say that I’ve ever been beaten up with a lampshade, but if anyone can do it, my money is on you.”
“Well, poop nuggets! You don’t have to be so smug about it.” I thought about throwing the shade at the two men who were now looming over me, but decided that would do no good. Instead, I resolved to make the biggest scene ever when they tried to take me out of the room. Unless there was some other method of escape. My gaze roamed around the room, looking for inspiration.
“Now, perhaps you wouldn’t mind answering a question or two—” The second man paused, and frowned, then leaned forward a little and sniffed. “Han.”
Perhaps if I made it out onto the balcony, I could climb down the three floors?
“Hmm?” The man in black was brushing off the white dog hair that he’d no doubt picked up from his time on the floor.
“Take a whiff of her.”
Climbing down from the balcony didn’t seem very likely—hey! I turned my gaze back to the two men, and glared. “Ibegyour pardon! There is nothing to whiff about me. I had a long soak in the tub after Kelso and I had dinner.”
