“So I could be right?” he gloats.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s my ex’s little sister and it could never happen.”
“Is that what you think or just what you’re tellin’ yourself to avoid being happy for once?”
“Mm-hmm.” I ignore his interrogation and step around him to go to the next stall.
“Is this you not wantin’ to date because of me?” he asks my back.
My spine straightens, but I don’t turn and face him. “It’s a little of everything.”
He pats my shoulder before coming in front of me. “I told ya, you don’t haveta put your life on hold for me. Get a life outside of worryin’ about me.”
Easier said than done.
“I wish I could.”
“So what, I’ve had a few episodes over the past decade or so, that doesn’t mean you can’t allow yourself to be in a relationship.”
I arch a brow. “Afew?”
“Stop using me as an excuse.”
“I’m not gonna go after a twenty-year-old who’s related to the last girl I dated,” I say matter-of-factly.
Or at least I shouldn’t…is what I tell myself.
“This is because she’s too young for you?”
“And innocent,” I add. “She and I started talkin’ when she asked me questions about datin’. So that’s how I know she’s not interested, and I just need to get over it.”
“So youdolike her. Who’s she datin’?”
I shrug. “Some guy she met from CowboyMatch. Today, she asked if she should wear five-inch heels because he’s only a couple inches taller than her, and instead of tellin’ her the truth,I lied. Made up some bullshit about how it’ll show she doesn’t care about his height.”
Which I feel guilty as hell about, I shouldn’t have done that.
But I hate the thought of her being taken advantage of by some punk. She’s young and inexperienced enough that she wouldn’t even realize it.
“Dude, you gave her bad advice on purpose?” He’s full on laughing. “That’s some shit I would pull.”
“Trust me, I know. It was a low moment, and I plan to confess later.”
Along with telling her the truth about the horse club group chat. I thought not telling her would be best, but the closer we get and the more we open up to each other, it feels wrong to hide it from her. I’m not sure how she’ll take it, but as soon as the right time approaches, I’ll do my best to explain why I had to pretend I wasn’t there to meet her that day at the cafe. And why I had to stop communication.
When she approached me in the dating app to ask about getting experience and learning, I was so shocked at how much she opened up and trusted me, I didn’t want her to shut down if I told her. But then I started liking her more and more, so if I don’t tell her soon, she could get pissed enough to walk away from our entire friendship.
And I’d be devastated if that happened.
“No way. Unless you want her to fall for someone else, let her show up in heels. Hell, tell her to wear eight-inch boots with a knife strapped to her thigh. Scare away the dude for good.”
I scoff because of course that’d be his advice. “I can’t do that to her. She’s tryin’ so hard to put herself out there and live her life after everything she went through. She trusts me, and I shouldn’t sabotage her.”
“Fuck…” He shakes his head. “You’rereallyinto her, aren’t ya?”
Stepping around him, I smack into his shoulder as I walk away.
And now tonight, I’m supposed to let her watch me jerk off.
