Rowan’s sister clutched Brynn’s hand. “Yes, lady. Thank you, lady.”
Brynn stepped outside, inclining her head as she passed Rowan’s father. “Same goes for you. Please send word if you need anything.”
The old man jerked his head once. Like most of the village, he was probably still deciding what to think of her.
“Lady, your face.” Esa frowned at her.
Brynn shook her head. She could feelkabuilding up beneath her skin. “I’ll deal with it later.”
Brynn had been working magic all day. She wanted to rest before she tried healing herself.
On the way back to the longhouse, they passed several fishermen and farmers coming in for the night. The shepherds and swineherds brought animals down from the hills into the pens. There might be an hour or so left of daylight, but it was fading fast.
“I’m not sure Rowan will appreciate you helping her family,” Esa said.
Brynn looked down to the puppy in her arms. “Rowan can feel how she wants. Her family are my people and it’s my duty to care for them. Not to make her like me.”
Esa let off a long sigh. “You will do your duty, lady. No matter what.”
Brynn wasn’t sure what to say to that.
“Don’t you…hate anyone?” Esa asked, almost hesitantly.
Brynn frowned at the girl, not sure where this was coming from. “Esa?”
The girl shook her head. “King Aelgar took your father’s kingdom.”
Brynn couldn’t let the girl speak like this. “The aldermen would never follow a woman.” Her sister had known this. “My uncle took nothing from me.”
“Paega was horrible to you.” Esa’s voice came out softer. “He always found something awful to say behind your back if not to your face, but you never did anything.”
Brynn swallowed. The reminder of her former husband’s contempt stung like nettles in her chest.
“But you never said anything back. And then…” Esa’s voice broke. “And then when I failed you…”
Brynn stopped halfway along the path to the longhouse, facing the girl. “Esa?”
Tears plucked at Esa’s eyes. “I failed you, lady. You loved your son more than anything and it was me who failed to protect him.”
“No, Esa.” Brynn grabbed her by the shoulder. “No, it wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was!” Esa’s voice broke into a sob. “I was supposed to look after him, but when the raiders came, I just…froze. I didn’t run, I didn’t fight, I didn’t…”
Brynn choked down her own tears, wrapping the arm that wasn’t holding the puppy around Esa. During all those months grieving in Ungamot, it hadn’t occurred to her that Esa might be grieving, too.
Esa sobbed against Brynn’s chest, her slight frame wracked with sorrow. “Why don’t you hate me?” she wept. “Why haven’t you punished me?”
Brynn closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks to soak the top of Esa’s head. She couldn’t speak for several moments, dragging herself into composure. “When you told me what happened…” She stared over Esa’s head to the distant mountains. “How you froze, how you couldn’t think.” Brynn cleared her throat, trying to rid herself of the lump catching her voice. “It reminded me of the day my sister died.”
Esa drew in a shuddering breath, finally looking up to the other sorceress. “Lady?”
Brynn brushed back Esa’s pale hair, soaked in tears and snot. “When my sister’s shieldwall broke, I froze. Just like you did. I didn’t know what to do. I was so afraid.”
Esa watched Brynn with brimming eyes, pale face reddened and blotchy.
Brynn shook her head. “I ran and hid, and I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven myself for it.”
Rationally, Brynn knew she couldn’t have saved her sister, the same way Esa couldn’t have saved Osbeorn. She still felt the oily filth of shame whenever she remembered that day. Her sister had been Aelfwynn the Brave, but she had turned out to be Brynn the Coward.
