“What about you?”
“I couldn’t sleep either.” I didn’t feel like bringing up the nightmare. I just wanted to forget it.
We both looked at the many papers on her desk filled with paragraphs and paragraphs of ink. Most of the pages looked old and worn.
“Are you looking for something?”
“I don’t even know.” She sighed. “I’ve been going through old ledgers of the royal family and some of the historical archives of the kingdom. I’m hoping that maybe there’s some more information somewhere about that diary you read about. I’m not sure there’s actually anything of value but...” She hesitated. “I can’t sit still and wait until something happens.”
“You’re not,” I reassured her. “You’re doing everything you can to protect your kingdom.” I wished I could say the same. I’d let my pain consume me in these past months and I feared failing everyone again. What if I’d done more before it was too late? Now we could only try to salvage what was left.
I walked closer to the desk and picked up one of the pages. It was a record of the kingdom’s produce from all the farmlands fifty years ago. That definitely wasn’t going to help anyone with anything.
“I see what you mean.” I put the piece of paper back down. “Where did you even get all this?”
“In here.” She gestured to the room around us. “And Rhen got some of it from the library.” If there was any mention of the king’s diary, these old documents were a good start, but none of them appeared to have any information of value.
“Would you like me to call a servant and ask them to bring us something?”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, please don’t wake anyone.”
Elara looked at me curiously before she said, “All right.”
At the fear of saying or doing something stupid, I turned away from her and started looking through some of the books near the fireplace. I’d gone back to the library to see if there were any more books on that period but my search had come up empty.
Apart from the sound of Elara shuffling through the papers, the air was quiet and almost peaceful.
I should apologise to her.For locking myself away from the world and from her. But where would I even begin?
“Are you sure you’re all right, Cai?” she said after a minute.
“Yes.” I sighed. “I just haven’t been sleeping well these past few days.”
“Me neither,” she said very softly. There was no point in asking her if she was all right. Of course she wasn’t all right. None of this was all right.
“Did you hear about Gwen?”
I looked over my shoulder. “What about Gwen?”
Elara seemed surprised at my response. “She had a riding accident.”
“A what?” My eyes widened. “Is she okay?”
“Yes, I believe she only sprained her ankle. I’m sure she’ll be healed in no time.”
I hadn’t spoken much to Gwen in the past few weeks. It didn’t surprise me that she’d been out riding. Gwen was always a very good rider. But the fact that I didn’t even know that she’d had an accident and injured herself made me feel terrible. I used to be like a brother to her and now I had no idea how she was really doing and how she was dealing with all of this.
“I’ll go and check on her in the morning,” I said, my gaze on the books.
“I think she’d appreciate that.” She began ruffling through the papers again.
“You were right, you know.” I thought back to our conversation a few nights earlier. Though Elara and I were on good terms, I knew I should be more open with her instead of isolating myself. She still needed me and I very much needed her.
Elara didn’t look up once as I spoke, and for a moment, I thought she was purposely ignoring me, until I realised something had caught her attention and she hadn’t heard me.
“Elara.” I took a step closer, and she looked up from the page she’d been reading.
“Mmhh?” Her gaze had intensified, something curious behind those eyes.
