“You have arms, don’t you?” And very nice ones at that.
He chuckles. “I’m not packing heat, though.”
“Fine,” I say, reaching for the rubber bands in my back pocket. “Trespassing and garden-variety robbery, then.”
He glances over his shoulder, brows up. “You’re just going to take my word for it that I’m not armed? That’s irresponsible, GG.”
“Officer GG to you.” He’s not wrong, however. I stuff the rubber bands back in my pocket and come around to face him for the pat down. I’ve seen it done on TV a hundred times. Heck, I’ve even had it done to me at the airport, but right now, I can’t remember what patting down entails. Where exactly am I meant to pat? How thorough must I be?
He’s watching me, amusement glittering in his eyes. I’d sure like to give those cheeks a rough pat.
I put my hands up, and my eyes scan his torso for the best starting place.
“Cuffs first,” he prompts, enjoying every second of this. “Unless you feel I’m that much of a threat to you.” His eyes tease me, and I know we’re not talking about the birdfeeder anymore.
“Nope,” I say, walking around behind him again. “Definitely not a threat to me.”
He puts his hands behind him. “If you don’t see me as a threat, you have no grounds for a citizen’s arrest.”
“You were stealing from me,Officer.” I fiddle with the rubberbands. “You know, for a man entrusted with upholding the law, you sure don’t seem to think your crime is a big deal.”
“Correct,” he says. “Because I didn’t commit a crime.”
“Unbelievable. You’ve stolen the birdfeeder off my property multiple times now.”
“Whose property it’s on is a matter for debate.”
I scoff. “You came through our fence to get it. I think it’s pretty clear.”
“A fence that was put on our side of the line. As for the birdfeeder, you put it out with the trash, which means it was abandoned, which means I was within my rights to take it. Hence,you’vebeen the one trespassi—” He stops, looking over his shoulder. “Are you using rubber bands as handcuffs?”
“I’m sorry I don’t own a pair of actual handcuffs, Beau. That’s not my thing.”
“I didn’t think you would. Grams, on the other hand…”
I pull his hands together tighter, and he winces but laughs.
“You know what you have to do next, right?” he asks.
“Of course I do.” I totally don’t. “I’m taking you down to the crawl space to await trial.”
“Ahhh,” he breaths out. “Vigilante justice.”
“Citizen’s arrest,” I correct, finishing off my makeshift knot for the cuffs.
“Then your next step is to call the police.”
“I don’t trust them.”
“Then this has just turned into unlawful detainment.”
Before I know what’s happening, Beau whips around to face me, grabs both my wrists, and pins them behind my back, holding me flush against him.
I look up at him, wide-eyed and breathless. How did he…?
“I can get out of real handcuffs with a pen cap, GG. Yours were a bit less foolproof. But more importantly…you’re under arrest for unlawful detainment, trespassing, and armed robbery.”
“Armed?” I manage to eke out despite how difficult I find it to breathe this close to him.
