He pauses, his brow wrinkling. “What is it?”
“Philippe,” I say, trying to gather my thoughts. “I’m leaving soon.”
“Two days after the wedding,” he confirms.
“Yeah. Which means this”—I gesture between us—“can’t go anywhere.”
He’s quiet for a moment, then touches a hand to my bare shoulder. “Why can we not enjoy each other for the small time we have together?”
“I don’t see the point in something so short-lived.”
He brushes his thumb along my shoulder. It’s not a creepy gesture. Just an invitation, a reminder that he’s here and knows what he wants. “But short can be beautiful. Like a firework.”
I chuckle softly. He has lines—I’ll give him that. Fireworksarebeautiful. But my whole dating life has felt like fireworks. Short and beautiful. But all they leave behind is smoke and a burnt-up box. I’m ready for a longer-lasting light. An LED bulb or something.
“Nice as this has been tonight, lovely as dinner was, I can’t dothis.” I pause as a little knot of misgiving ties up my stomach. “I hope this doesn’t affect how things work as we approach the wedding.”
“Of course not.” He unclips the security rope again. “May I walk you to your cottage?”
“Thanks, but that’s not necessary.” Now that I’ve shut things down, I just want to be done. “I’ll let you get back to your Friday evening. I know the way.”
24
SIENA
I probably should have letPhilippe walk me to the cottage, but I’m eager to be away from him. Away from everyone. It’s not his fault. That near-kiss put me in a weird mood.
Almost as weird as the water aerobics the lady is doing. She looks like she’s trying to do something more like water hip-hop now. But judging by the ring on her finger, she’s had more success getting men to commit to long-term relationships than I have, so I should probably be jumping in with her instead of judging her geriatric rib isolations.
The cottage is dark when I reach the door, which means that Jack is either asleep already or he’s not home. Either scenario suits me. I’m fresh out of desire to be around guys who are just in it for the fireworks and fun. I wish I could be a Cyndi Lauper girl, but I’m not. I clearly hate fun.
I don’t even bother turning on the light when I get inside. I go straight to my room and throw myself onto the bed, staring at the dark ceiling. My hopes of turning my brain from Jack by going out with Philippe are sitting in a pile of charred ashes on the floor. What is it about me that’s a magnet for guys who see me as nothing but a good time? Why does my heart insist on throwing itself into games of emotional hot potato?
I reach behind me, feeling around until my fingers find purchase on the pillow. I pull it over my face, hold it down around the sides of my head with both hands, and give a good scream. It sounds pathetic, muffled by the pillow. Pathetic like me.
I scream louder, which I realize is irrational because the entire point of the pillow is to muffle the sound, but I’m still annoyed by how much effort I can put into it and how little result I get.
“Siena?”
Eyes wide, I pull the pillow from my face. Jack’s standing in the dark doorway, looking at me with a furrowed brow.
“Did I wake you?” I ask, a little hope in my voice. Maybe my screams weren’t as pathetic as I thought.
“No, I just barely got here.”
“Oh.” I sigh, resting my arms on the pillow. Pathetic, after all.
He’s perplexed. “Were you trying to wake me up by screaming into a pillow? Interesting choice.”
I put the pillow behind me. “No. It was dark when I got here, but I saw the car in the parking lot when we pulled in, so I thought you were sleeping.”
“I was at Madi’s helping her with a few things.” He flips on the light, and I wince, covering my eyes.
“Off! Turn it off!”
“Okaaay…” He flips the switch again, and I drag my hands from my eyes. “Did Philippe turn you into one of his Dracula brides or something?”
“It’s sunlight that hurts vampires, Jack, not fluorescent light.” I drop onto the bed, my energy suddenly sapped by his teasing comment. I’m not really in the mood for bantering with Jack. I want to mope in the dark and then hopefully get some wedding stuff done.
