“Can I join the party?” I ask.
“I’m almost done,” she says. “I can’t get the physical receipts to match the charges on my credit card. Which reminds me—I need your receipts. You’ve paid for a lot of stuff, and it all needs to be recorded.”
I wave a hand and head for the fridge. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Jack,” she says. “They’re wedding expenses, and I promised Madi I would keep perfect track of them. You’ll make a liar out of me if you don’t hand them over.”
“Fine,” I say. “But only if you agree to take a break.”
She stares at me warily, like she’s trying to discern what I mean.
“Notthatkind of break,” I say, slightly irritated that the idea is so unpalatable to her. I’ve always thought of myself as a decent kisser, but maybe I’m wrong. “A movie or something.” I frown as I scan the contents of the fridge: milk, eggs, truffles, strawberries, and an opened can offoie gras. “And definitely food. I can’t bring myself to eat another strawberry or another piece of spongy fungus tonight, no matter how much they cost. What do you say?”
She mulls it over, chewing the inside of her lip.
While I want to spend time with Siena, I also genuinely think she needs these breaks. So this isn’t entirely selfish. It’s also not entirely selfless. It’s selfless-ish.
Her eyes narrow. “Are you picking the movie, or am I?”
“That depends… what would you pick?”
Her mouth tilts up at the side in a way that’s evil incarnate. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“That’s why I asked. But fine. You can pick. I can’t promise to keep my mouth shut if it’s a dumb movie, though.”
She cocks a brow. “Whereas if it’snota dumb movie, you’ll be quiet as a church mouse?”
“Are church mice quiet? We had mice in our house once, and let me tell you, they squeaked up a storm, not to mention the sound of their nasty little claws scratching whenever they ran. But I will do my best to watch in relative silence if that’s what you want.”
“Completesilence,” she says. “I learned my lesson withEver After.You barely took a breath the entire time.”
“Ironic of you to say, since you were snoring three-quarters of the way through. But fine. I’ll be quiet.”
She looks like she’s enjoying this power move. “Or else we turn the movie off and go back to work.” She obviously thinks she’ll be back working in a matter of minutes.
I weigh my options for a minute. I can be quiet. It’s not that hard to watch a movie in silence, especially if I’m interested in it.
“Deal.” Apparently, I’m desperate enough to spend time with Siena that I’ll agree to wear a metaphorical scold’s bridle and watch whatever movie she chooses.
It takes a while, but we find a food delivery app and order in Chinese, which we eat while watchingSharknado 4. That’s right.
There’s only one couch in the living area, but Siena takes a seat at one edge, and I get the message loud and clear, seating myself on the opposite side.
Half an hour into the movie, I’ve had to bite my tongue no less than ten times. Being a church mouse sounds deceptively easy. I will probably have severed my tongue by the end of this movie if I mean to keep my promise.
“Something to say?” Siena asks, looking at me with an expression of false interest as sharks start flying around.
I pinch my lips together and shake my head, pointing at my Kung Pao chicken and giving a thumbs up.
She reaches over and steals a forkful. “Mmm. So good.”
I stare at her, silent.
“Is there a problem?” She helps herself to another forkful. I can’t complain, really. Every time she takes a bite, she gets closer to me, setting off my pulse, which sounds extra loud in my vowed silence. But once she has her forkful, she retreats to her side, complete with a gloating smile.
So, I set my Kung Pao chicken on the coffee table and reach over to steal a bite of her sesame chicken. She pulls it out of my grasp, and I lose my balance, barely catching myself from falling onto her. But fair is fair, and I’m definitely having a bite of that chicken. I may be a quiet church mouse, but I’m not a cowardly one. I’m Fievel fromAn American Tale.
“Hey!” Siena says, pulling away as far as she can. She has to retreat onto the arm of the couch, where I follow dauntlessly, confident she has nowhere to go.Vengeance is mine, quoth I.
