He closed his eyes, and she felt the shudder that ran through his body before he held her close to his heart.
She’d bungled this badly. When he pulled away again, she smiled at him. “I only meant to say that we need to decide what will happen next. My brother is returning to his country seat, but I have nowhere else I need to be. I can stay in London.”
He took hold of her hands and brought them together, holding them against his chest. Against his heart. She could feel the strong, steady thrum of its beat through their clasped hands.
“I need to return to the country, Lucy. My mother plans to visit.”
A shard of ice pierced her heart. Holbrook was leaving?
Her initial instinct was to pull away. Tell him goodbye, perhaps offer one more afternoon together. And then she’d escape and hide away in her bedchamber at her brother’s town house.
She didn’t know where the instinct came from, but a wave of denial flowed through her. It was so powerful she almost didn’t recognize her voice when she spoke. “No. You can’t leave.”
“Come with me, Lucy. Marry me. I can get a special license and we can be married before the end of the season.”
She hesitated.
“I love you, Lucy. I’ll wait for you. And if this is all I can ever have with you, then it will be enough. I’ll return to London as soon as I’m able, and we can spend as much time together as we want.”
The words burst out of her. “What if I can’t give you children? You’ll come to hate me.” It was her worst fear. That she would be a disappointment to him. She didn’t worry that he would turn away from her as her husband had done, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be a burden to him.
He shook her gently. “The last time I checked, there was no way for any woman to know whether she’d be able to carry a child. Yet people get married all the time.”
She smiled, touched by his desire to comfort her. “And husbands then grow to resent their barren wives.”
“Not all of them. I wouldn’t. All I want is you.”
“But—”
“Lucy, I have three brothers. I don’t need an heir. I already have a handful of them. Would I like a child? I’m not going to lie and say I wouldn’t dote on a little girl who looked just like her beautiful mother. Although I suppose I’d also love her if she looked more like me.”
The wry twist of his lips startled a surprised laugh out of her. She threw her arms around him, too overcome with emotion to speak.
To his credit, he simply held her and waited. Ever patient. Hers.
When she pulled back, he lifted a hand to brush away the tears that were silently sliding down her cheeks. “Are these happy tears or sad tears?”
“They’re happy tears,” she managed with a broken sob. “I love you so much.”
“Does that mean you’ll marry me?”
“Yes, Lucas. It was always going to be yes.”
He brushed his mouth over hers. “I’ll spend every day of my life trying to be worthy of you.”
“You already are,” she whispered against his mouth before deepening the kiss. Then she proceeded to show him just how much she loved him.
Epilogue #1
A letter from Holbrook’s mother
Lucas,
* * *
I was very pleased to receive your letter informing us of your upcoming nuptials at the end of the season… Which, good heavens, is almost upon us!
* * *
