He shakes his head and holds up his still half-full beer. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Be right back. Unless I bump into your girl, Jordan. Then, I might be a while.” With a frankly lascivious grin, she disappears into the thick crowd.
“Sothat’s Miriam.” Daniel huffs out a soft laugh. “Would you think less of me if I admit that she scares me?”
I snort. “I would think less of you if shedidn’t.”
He chuckles again, still staring in the direction Miriam left. “She’s gorgeous,” he murmurs.
Everything in me stills, pulls tight, and I try my damnedest not to betray the bright, sharp sensation sliding between my ribs.
“Yeah, she is,” I agree, amazed that I sound casual, almost bored instead of all keep-your-fucking-eyes-to-yourself.
More staring, and I lower a hand down beside my thigh and out of sight. That way I don’t have to explain the reflexive fisting of my fingers. Not to punch my friend. Never that. Although I can’t deny the damn near primal need to stalk through this house, hunt down Miriam, pin her to the nearest wall, and take that fuckable mouth so every person in this house knows she’s mine and off limits.
But that’s just it.
She’s not mine.
And Miriam has made it abundantly clear she never will be. That we will never be that to one another.
So no, the clenching of my hand isn’t about violence. At least not toward Daniel. To myself, yes. That blunt bite of pain, the dull ache, the control—they ground me. Place me in the here and now. It’s a frigid slap of reality.
Daniel edges forward on the couch cushion, the seemingly forgotten beer bottle dangling from his fingers. “I don’t want to get in your business or move wrong. And I remember the interrogation Cyrus put you under a few nights ago. But ... are you two really just friends or are you ...”
He trails off, and my gut clenches. Hard. Because part of me realizes where this is going. Why he’s probing. And if I tell him “Yes, we’ve had sex. She’s friend-zoned me, but I’m secretly and pathetically in love with her like a goddamn heart-eye emoji,” Daniel would back off.
What’s the saying? The truth will set you free?
Well, for me, it’s a fucking prison. And the scarred, wary heart of one beautiful woman is my jailer.
So as always, I keep the whole truth to myself and give pieces of it. Only the palatable ones.
“Just friends.” I force my lips into an amused smirk. “You’ve met her. If she were my girl, do you really think she would take a half-naked chick propositioning me so easily? Hell, they’d have to put her in witness protection so Miriam couldn’t track her down.”
Daniel laughs, and I join him, though that sharp knife in my chest twists. Because I’m giving myself further proof that the woman I desire beyond reason doesn’t feel the same. Shit, Miriam would’ve marched over here to compare tit size with Beth/Brenda/Becky rather than demand she back up off me.
That’s just depressing as fuck.
“I can see that.” Daniel’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and in spite of my morose thoughts, it’s damn good to see humor on him. “If you’re sure you’re just friends ...”
“I’m sure.”
Gritting your teeth does not make you sound believable.
Right. I deliberately relax my jaw and wish I had another bottle ofsomething. My fingers flex, curl. Flex, curl.
“You know Cyrus dates her sister. That’s how we met,” I remind him.
“That’s right. Then you, uh, wouldn’t mind if I, uh ...” Daniel clears his throat and dips his chin in the direction of the living room exit.Spit it out, dammit. “If I ask Miriam out.”
That knife twists. Plunges deeper.
Rami Malek doesn’t have anything on me. My acting skills rival none. Because nothing in my expression gives away the hot anger and pain contorting me into so many knots Cirque du Soleil should be knocking at my door any minute.
“She has a father, and he’s not me. You don’t need my blessing,” I say. Yeah, definitely missed my Hollywood calling.
“I know, man. I just want to make sure I’m not stepping on any toes. And”—he ducks his head, rubbing a palm back and forth over histhigh, and the nervous gesture nabs my attention—“this would be the first time I’m asking a woman out since Jerricka ... well, it’s the first time I would be asking a woman out in a long time.”
