It’s late, and everyone is gone no later than six. Me included. But I can’t stand being at the house that used to be my haven. Now, it’s become the opposite. I can’t even enter without seeing Cyrus and myself against the wall next to my front door. Or remembering us on my couch. I even swear I can catch his scent on my sheets from one of the nights we spent together in my bed, and I’ve washed those sheets at least three times.
Work keeps my days busy, occupies my mind. And this office has become my sanctuary in the evenings until I tire myself out to the point that I can’t think about Cyrus.
It hasn’t worked so far, but I’m no quitter.
“What’s this?” I pull out a container of strawberry-cheesecake ice cream, a family-size bag of sour-cream-and-onion chips, and three plastic spoons.
“You don’t remember?” Miriam holds out her hands. “I told you when the shit hit the fan I would bring all that and binge with you. ’Cause that’s what sisters do.”
“Then what am I doing here?” Levi asks.
“Learning empathy. I thought tinmen wanted hearts.”
“Filthy rumor.”
I chuckle and, shit, hate the sting of tears springing to my eyes. Pushing the carton and bag toward them, I shake my head.
“Thanks, but I’m good.”
“What thefuck?” Levi slowly leans forward, his voice dropping to a low, menacing growl. “Are you fucking crying?”
An ice storm coalesces in my chest, slicking through my veins. I blink, glancing at Miriam, who appears just as shocked at our brother’s reaction.
“Uhh ... no?”
“Don’t lie to me,” he snaps. “Yes, you are. Your eyes are wet. Who the hell made you cry? Name.” An unholy smile spreads across his face. “Address.”
“Ohshit,” Miriam whispers.
“Zora.” Levi slaps his hand on the desktop. “What’s his name? Because I’m assuming it’s a man. And I don’t need the details—matter of fact, I prefer not to have the details—but if someone fucked with my sister, he’s going to get fucked with right back.”
“Cyrus Hart.”
I jerk my head to my sister. “Miriam!”
She shrugs. “What? I like this thug-a-licious version of Levi. And Cyrus needs his ass beat for breaking your heart,” she says, her expression and voice suddenly devoid of humor.
“He didn’t break my heart.”
She cocks her head. “Didn’t he, though? Why else are you working yourself to the point of exhaustion since you came back from that retreat? If he didn’t hurt you, if you didn’t do the most foolish thing in the world and fall in love with that man, then you wouldn’t have slept in your office these past two nights so you didn’t have to go home.”
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Sometimes I hate having a genius for a sister.
“What happened?” she gently demands.
As if her question unlocks the tightly sealed door inside me, it squeaks open, and the events of the retreat pour out. I don’t leave anything out, and Levi and Miriam sit and quietly listen through it all. By the time I finish, I’m exhausted. And tears trail down my cheeks.
And about ten pounds have lifted off my soul.
“This is my fault,” Levi flatly states in the silence.
“What?” I frown. Where in the hell did that come from? “Levi, what—”
“It is.” He meets my gaze, and his eyes are solemn and heavy with his usual seriousness, but there’s a weariness and regret there that I’ve never witnessed on him. In him. “I’m your older brother. Both of you. It’s my job to protect you, not the other way around. But I didn’t. Not from Mom and Dad. Not from those assholes you dated. And not even from yourself.”
“Levi ...”
“No, Zora.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, pinning me with his dark eyes. “I checked out, and I did it young because of Dad. But I abandoned you and Miriam. I let you be our go-between because you were good at it, but at what cost? From what you just told us about this Cyrus, even though I still want to fuck him up, you didn’t trust him to see and accept the real you. And that’s because the very people who should see and accept the real you because it’s in their fucking job description don’t. How could you believe he would accept BURNED when our parents ridicule it? I’m not making excuses for you, because you didn’t even really give this man a fair shot. You never trusted him. Not really. But hell, I get why.”
