“Mum!” I scream, but she doesn’t move. The masked people look at me with zero care. Part of me wants to run and kill them with my bare hands. But her blood is on my hands and I can’t stop it from spilling out onto the pavement. It’s wet and sticky in a way that’s truly revolting.
(It’s okay, it’s not real)
Tears spill from my eyes as golden hour sun fills the street.
(None of it’s real Noah)
I’m trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.
(It isn’t real. I know it feels real. I’m so sorry)
“I’ll phone an ambulance, Mum, I?—”
(This is just a dream, Noah. Please wake up)
One of the masked people stare at me while I hold my dying mother in my arms. They are rushed along by one of the others, their voices inaudible to me.
“Fucking help me! Someone! Anyone!” I scream at the top of my voice, but no one comes.
“Mum you can’t do this, you can’t. Please, I’m begging you. Just get up! You’re fine, you’ve just had a bad fall.”
She went down so fast, I couldn’t catch her. Why couldn’t I have just caught her? Why did I have to be so slow?
“Mum?” I whisper as bloody tears spill down my face.
I wake up screaming. Kai is shaking me awake.
“What the fuck Noah?” He asks, his face ghost white. “Are you okay?” He asks, a hand still on my shoulder. My eyes adjust and I remember I’m in his spare room.
“I’m okay… I just…” I begin but my eyes are already wet. Whimpers escape me before Kai pulls me into a hug.
“It’s okay… you’re okay,” he whispers as I sob into his arms. This isn’t the first time he’s had to do this. I can’t believe I let him go.
“I still get nightmares,” I tell him, my heart threatens to burst out my chest. I’m getting tears all over his neck, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I rub my angel necklace with my thumb, hoping it calms me down.
“You’ll be okay, I know it’s hard right now but you’ll be okay. You’re so brave coming back here and you know what? I’m proud of you.” I continue crying into his arms for a while.
We’reon our way to Harry’s surf shop. It’s on the beach front next to a beautiful restaurant called Piran’s Garden. We stroll through a cobblestone street. People are having their lunch with their legs dangling over the small river to our left. Friends are catching up and there is a photographer taking candid street photos. I love to people-watch in Perrancombe, there’s always something interesting going on.
Piran’s garden has a wall filled with graffiti. It’s a beautiful display of colours and complicated shapes, with the sunlight amplifying the saturation of the colours. Kai is especially fascinated with the display.
“Every time I walk past here I can’t help but stop and look at it,” he says once we stop to admire it.
“Did we ever find out who the artist was?” I ask, hoping that maybe while I was gone someone had come forward and owned up to it. For all these years it’s been here and no one has ever come forward.
“Nope. But how cool would that be?” Kai says, taking a picture on his phone, even though he must have a dozen just like it.
“So when did you get into painting?” I ask. Kai’s lips move into a thin line while they think of an answer.
“Well, I started going to therapy for a few things. The first thing they tried with me was art therapy. And ever since it’s just been my secret obsession.”
“Secret?” I ask as we begin to face each other. He fixes the hair that has fallen over his face.
“Well yeah. I haven’t really told anyone,” Kai says quietly. He starts looking at anything but me and I can’t help but press him further.
“Really? But it could be in art galleries! It’s really good. Why don’t you believe in yourself?” I ask, realising quickly that the last bit might have been a bit much? I genuinely believe that he could get their artwork into a gallery.
“Noah, it’s not that I don’t believe in them. They’re okay. It’s just… not everything needs to be for profit. This is personal. I don’t want to show it off to everyone, you get me?”
