“That was a hundred percent your fault man,” he says, still laughing. He takes a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs with oxygen again. He puts a hand on his chest and feels it rise and fall with his breath.
“What do you mean sex doesn’t appeal to you though?” I ask, thinking back to what he said before.
“Oh, well I’m actually asexual. I’ve had sex a few times and it’s just.. not for me,” he tells me as he looks off at the distance.
“Oh, fair enough,” I say. I’ve heard of asexuality before. After that horrible night at the party, I originally thought I might have been asexual. I researched a bunch about it but realised it didn’t sound like me. So I know what it is but I’ve never met someone that identified that way though.
We really do have the whole alphabet in that bookshop of ours.
“Oh wait here’s one!” He says, pointing to a wave coming up. We quickly turn around and go onto our chests. We start swimming away from the wave, until we catch the wave. We both go to stand up, although Elijah does it a lot more gracefully than I do. He does a small jump from his chest onto his two feet. I’ll need to get him to teach me how to do that. Soon, we’re both riding to shore. I can’t help but laugh at how cool this feels. We pick up speed, and soon we’re back on the beach. I jump off the board and bring the sea air deep into my lungs.
“Aw man that was awesome, didn’t think we were gonna get any big ones today,” he says. He holds out his fist and I fist bump him. The smell of BBQ fills our noses.
“That better be ours,” Elijah says, picking up his board.
“Yeah I’m starving,” I tell him.
As we walk towards our friends, Daisy gives us a wave.
“Hey guys, the sausages are almost done,” Daisy says as the sausages sizzle away on the disposable BBQ. Kai is giving her a hand while smoking a joint. Teddy and Cat are building a fire in the middle of our chairs.
“Hey, baby, want a hand?” I ask while he’s busy placing sticks onto the fire. He turns around and is taken aback.
“What?” I ask, laughing nervously.
“You just look so… muscular in your wetsuit… and no I don’t need a hand,” he says, his face going red. I smile.
“Thanks, could you actually give me a hand getting out of it?”
“What do you mean?” He asks, his face like a tomato now.
“Just hold a towel for me while I put on my shorts,” I ask, grabbing my towel and shorts.
“Could you pull my zip down?” I ask, turning so my back faces him. He walks up and pulls it down, the wind hits my bare skin. Teddy holds the towel around me. I roll the wetsuit off of my body and throw it onto the blanket below me. Even though Teddy could peek over the towel and see my naked body, he chooses not to and looks off into the distance respectfully. I pull my denim shorts up over my legs.
“You can take the towel away now,” I tell him, he places the towel onto the blanket and we go over to take a seat.
Kai is giving Elijah a hand with getting out of his wetsuit. I can hear them discussing what kind of tape they use to bind, and how Elijah has to buy a waterproof one for surfing. Soon, he’s wearing a pair of shorts, and they come to join us.
“So, I heard you’ve got a date soon,” I say to Kai. He smiles softly, blushing a little.
“Maybe,” he replies, glancing over at Elijah who is now helping Teddy with the fire. “I really like him. Hopefully I don’t mess this up. I’m really excited.”
“You won’t mess it up. What will be, will be, as they say,” I tell him, he turns to me.
“Yeah? Who said that?”
“I don’t know… someone?” I reply with a small laugh. We laugh between ourselves as well look at all our new friends.
“You look happier,” Kai says after a moment.
“Ifeelhappier.”
“I haven’t seen you this happy since… well you know.”Before your mum diedgoes unsaid. I should never have left home. I should have stayed with Kai and we could have worked through it together. But would things have gone the same way? Would I be the same person if it wasn’t for what I’ve been through?
The fire is finally lit after Teddy and Elijah fiddled with it for a while. We all go and sit on camping chairs next to it. I just can’t stop smiling.
Elijah has gothis guitar out and we’re all singing old emo songs together as the fire rages on. An oil painting of yellow and orange floods the sky as the sun sets behind us. I lean into Teddy’s body as he puts an arm around me. The fire is hot on my skin.
