“I’m just glad you’re okay. But you need to promise me you won’t run off like that again,” he asks. I hold out my pinky.
“I pinky promise.” He wraps his pinky around mine, then brings it to his mouth. He starts pretending to bite my finger, making my giggle.
“Stop that! It tickles!” I shout through fits of laughter. We relax again and just spend a few moments looking at each other’s eyes.
“You’re very annoying, you know, I only keep you around because your bed is comfy,” I laugh.
“You’re only my boyfriend because you’re a good kisser,” he replies with a grin on his face. We laugh for a moment then go quiet. I then ask him the question that’s been on my mind since I woke up.
“Why… why didn’t you have sex with me last night?”
“I thought you didn’t want to yet?” He asks, his lips pursed.
“I’m still not ready, but I was drunk last night… didn’t you want to…”
“No, never.”
“What?”
“I’d never do that when you’re vulnerable, even if you asked me. Why would I?” he asks, and then, like a switch in my brain, I finally understand.
My understanding of sex is completely warped.
“I think he broke me.”
“Broke you? No, no, no. Why would you think that?” He asks, cupping my cheek.
“I can’t get what he did out of my brain. I see his face in my sleep. I feel everything and I… I don’t trust people. I thought because I was drunk you would… you would take advantage of me,” I whisper, my vision blurring.
“I would never Noah,” he whispers back, his face frowning. “What he did to you was awful. I don’t know why anyone wouldwant to hurt you. Yes, I’d love to have sex with you, but only when you’re ready. I’m not going to coerce you into it and I’m not going to force myself on you. None of that. What he did was illegal. That wasn’t sex. Sex is a beautiful thing between two people that love each other. What he did was abusive. There’s a big difference.”
“Will you… wait for me?” I ask him, touched by his words. I need communication when it comes to this. That monster ruined my idea of what sex is. I need Teddy to teach me. I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing that for me.
“Of course, I will,” he replies, rubbing the palm of my hand with his thumb. I feel warm inside.
“Won’t you get bored?” I ask, genuinely wondering what the answer will be. Won’t it be annoying to wait? I can see him getting bored waiting. He’s already been waiting for so long.
“Never. I like you for you, not the idea of undressing you,” He replies, which causes a smile to appear on my face. “You don’t owe me anything at all,” he adds, as if hearing my thoughts.
“I think I needed to hear this,” I tell him, before kissing him again. I move him onto his back and I lie on his chest, wrapping my leg around his. I can hear his heartbeat, which threatens to put me to sleep again.
We stay like that for a few moments, until Teddy has to ruin it.
“I think it’s time to open the shop, but you can stay here if you want?” He asks before tracing circles on my cheeks with his thumb. The touch is electric and makes me want to kiss him even more.
“How about we both stay in bed all day and cuddle?” I ask, holding him in place.
“I’m kind of the owner? So if I don’t go downstairs now, the shop won’t open,” he laughs. I stay in place. He tickles me in the armpits which makes me jump to the other end of the bed.
“I’m hungover, leave me alone!” I moan, blocking my armpits off with my hands.
“Okay if you insist,” he says, getting out of bed. The coldness attacks my skin quickly, a whine escapes my throat.
“No come back I didn’t mean it,” I say, extending my arms out for a hug. The warmth comes back and I fully relax again.
“I need to go baby,” he says again. I huff and cross my arms.
“Okay, if you insist,” I tell him grudgingly. He checks his phone and realizes the time. He starts pulling clothes out the wardrobe as I get comfy in bed. It isn’t until he’s in his boxers and he turns around that I realize I’m staring.
