“It’s no one’s fault,” Harry corrects. A painful sigh falls out his throat as he wipes his brow. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
“That’s it. We’re finished,” Demi says, throwing her hands up in the air. “Thirty goddamn years… gone.” She laughs quietly to herself. “The funny thing is, I knew this was coming. I knew for a fact that one day they’d come back. Their disappearance was too good to be true. There’s no coming back from this.” She starts walking away. No one tries to stop her.
Harry walks into the shop. He wanders around and takes it all in while quietly muttering to himself.
I look down at my best friend. I’ve never seen him look so small. He sighs before getting up.
“Are you okay, Kai?” I ask, putting a hand on his shoulder to get him to face me. Tears have welled up in his eyes.
“Fucking fantastic man,” he says sarcastically. His fake smile drops as he takes my hand off his shoulder. “I’ll get you back at the house.”
I turn to Teddy, who looks just as bewildered as I am.
“I fucking hate them,” he says before turning to me. “Just head home for the day Noah. I’ll close up the shop.”
“Are you sure? I can?—”
“I’m sure, Noah. Just go home.”
“Okay, well if you’re sure,” I reply. I start heading towards the bookshop to collect my things, my heart breaking. I’m not sure what Kai’s family are supposed to do now. Demi worked so hard in her twenties to make this shop what it is today. It’s not fair that one day her dreams can be shattered like that. Although, there’s one thing I can’t wrap my head around. Why did Demi blame it on Kai?
Iwake up from a sleep haunted by Jonathan and his rotating room. I sigh while I caress my bare shoulder. My hands are trembling and my body is slick with sweat. I feel disgusting.
Sometimes the nightmares are realistic depictions of what happened to me. But then other times it’s the monster taking a rusty axe to angel wings protruding from my back. He starts ripping them from their sockets, draining the colour from my flesh. Red blood flows down the back like a waterfall. It drips onto snow-white feathers.
As the feathers turn red, they are offered to me like a bouquet of flowers. The monster growls in a low tone, “Take this my lover. You’re mine because I want you. Take this as a sign of my love.”
Then, with his heavy, bloody hands, he grips onto my halo. White light fills the spinning, dark room. I feel the halo tug on my head as it begins to detach. The pain makes me scream like a puppy having it’s stomach gutted. There’s squeals of pain and I’m begging him to stop. The halo finally detaches from my head, my hair matted with my own blood. The room is dark now, the light inside me gone.
I don’t know why my memories haunt me like this. It ends with me waking up and crying in bed until I rot all day. I’m not doing this anymore.
Golden hour light streams through my window. Easels housing colourful canvas’ surround this bare room I find myself in. With a heavy head and heart, I slowly move to the edge of the bed, placing my head in my hands.
“It was just a dream, you’re safe,” I whisper to myself, my hands trembling. I look at them and rub the inside of my palm with my thumb. I count my ten fingers.
It was just a dream
It was just a dream
It was just a dream
Coming out of a nightmare, I need to remind myself it’s not real. I’d rather not have the nightmares, but if I’m going to have them then I may as well make sure they don’t ruin the rest of my day. I stand up and make my way to the wardrobe, taking out a pair of joggers and a plain white vest top.
I enter the living room, the smell of eggs and bacon fill my nose.
“Morning, Noah,” Kai says.
“Morning,” I say, my voice scratchy. I take a seat on the couch and notice a joint sitting in the ashtray. “Can I steal some of this?” I ask, pointing to the ashtray. Kai nods, so I light it and take a draw. I let the smoke fill my lungs, then exhale. A sigh ofrelief runs out my throat, causing Kai to come over. He leans on the back of the couch before he speaks.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just a bad dream.” Kai’s face contorts into something like pity. I don’t want pity, though, so I change the subject. “Is that eggs and bacon I smell?”
“Yeah, but not for you,” he laughs. I make the noise of a wounded pup as I look them in the eye, making my lip quiver.
“Okay, fine, maybe there is some for you.” I smile brightly and follow him into the kitchen, the joint hanging on my lips.
“Same dream?” Kai asks while he flips the bacon over. It sizzles as he presses a spatula against it. I look around for an ashtray, so Kai points to one on the windowsill. I flick the ash off the tip before I reply.
