“Of course.”
“Are you honest with them in everything?”
“More every day. He even comments on it, that he can tell when I drop my mask.”
“And does he love you?”
That stole my breath more than any other of my wayward thoughts. I had occasionally found myself doubting it, succumbing to old fears, much as I had known the answer since the start of this. “He does.”
“Then there is only one question remaining. Doyoulovehim? For if two people love one another, nothing should keep them apart, but if one does and the other does not, the latter must be let go.”
As I had let her go.
Did I want to be let go? Could I love Ravnur? Or would it all unravel again, only this time with my sweet hirdman the one spurned?
I returned my attention to Gerdr, taking in her fair form. Still, she was patient with me, despite everything. “I think part of why I needed to see you today was to acknowledge once more what we were, what we weren’t, and the part you played in who I was reborn to become after Ragnarök. I was not handling things in quite as healthy a manner at first.”
“Yes.” Gerdr huffed. “When it comes to those little—or not so little—elven devices, word does get around.”
“Oh dear! The realms do enjoy their gossip.”
“We do.” She grinned. “And you were entitled to what you sought. We all need indulgences, so long as they are consensually attained. You were never meant for that forever though. You’re a romantic. You seek love, not a life of lustful pursuits without depth.
“And if you dare make some jibe about, ‘oh there is alwaysdepth,’ I am going right back up those stairs.”
I chuckled. “Never! Although the thought did cross my mind.”
She chuckled too. She had only ever really been my friendafterwe parted, and true beloveds should be friends from the start. “If you finally found love at last,” she said, squeezing my hand with what certainly felt like the strength of giants, “do not deny yourself what you want, especially not because of me.”
Some combination of vise-like grief and a flood of reprieve washed through me. Tears filled my eyes, and I let them, for the conflicting but fitting emotions I felt required the outlet. I had not realized how much I had left to weep over, all I had been keeping trapped and tamped down within me, barely chipped away at with dalliance after dalliance, or maybe made worse.
Steadying myself with a cleansing breath, I slipped my hand from Gerdr’s and patted hers before I stood.
“Thank you. I intrude upon you unwelcome yet again, and still you offer so much. But I think I mostly needed to see you once more to better let you go.”
Gerdr stood as well, eyes shining with their own budding moisture. “You are never unwelcome, Freyr. You just weren’t…”
“I know. And you weren’t either. For me, I mean. I know that now. I just need to confirm if I am right about who is.”
Gerdr cupped my cheek, and I couldn’t resist holding her hand there to enjoy its comfort and warmth. “You will know the next time you see him.”
“You are so certain?”
“Yes, because it will feel different from when you thought you found love with me.”
Perhaps I could call it Jotun magic that I believed her so thoroughly.
I took her hand from my cheek, kissed the top of it, and left her with a peace now settled between us that had not quite been there before.
“Bring me to Ravnur,” I bid of Gull, and the beast took off at its usual great speeds as if flying over the land.
We did not head toward Alfheim, but up a different branch of Yggdrasil. Once I realized where we were going, I slowed Gullinbursti and leapt from its back to finish our trek on foot. I knew the domain this branch led to, for it was a beautiful meadow belonging to my kin.
In the distance, while nearing my sister’s homestead and hall at the meadow’s center, I saw Ravnur visiting with the horses in Freya’s stables. Her domain was beautiful, surrounded by trees with mountains beyond them, and a river running through it, passing just beside the homestead, where wild flowers bloomed all along its banks. No hunting was allowed here, and so birds sang and wildlife flourished in rare harmony with one another.
Beautiful. But none of it was as breathtaking as the dark-skinned, dark-haired elf I had my eyes on, and who, as I drew closer, seemed to sense my presence and looked outward from the stables to find me.
Chapter 6
