“Isn’t it fashionable these days for a woman to agree to marriage first?” Warren asked, half-teasing.
“She will agree, I’m certain of it.”
Warren studied him closely, far too astute for Darius’s liking because he knew whatever Warren was thinking was likely not going to be something he’d want to hear.
“Darius, not to draw rain clouds over your pending nuptials, but is this what you desire?”
That certainly wasn’t what he’d expected his friend to say, and it was hard for words to express how much it meant to him right now. The bonds that had forged when they were young boys had only strengthened over time, and he was glad that his desire to marry Meredith hadn’t threatened his friendship with Warren.
“I have wanted Meredith since the moment I saw her standing at my front door, so brave and yet so lost. But that wanting has softened … deepened into something else. Something I dare not name lest I find myself becoming a fool for it.”
“Then let me say it for you,” Warren replied. “You love her.”
Darius did, but tonight he must face the fact that he was forcing marriage on her because he’d lost his control. He’d taken her virginity and her future, all for his own selfish need to claim her forever as his. He was a fool for letting it happen, but he wasn’t going to let her go now.
“She will not marry you if you force her to,” said Warren. “Even if she returns your love, she won’t allow you to make this match out of necessity for her honor.”
Darius refused to heed his friend’s warning. “She will marry me. She will have no choice. I compromised her tonight, which means there is a possibility of a child.”
“You’re a fool if you tell her that is why you must marry her. Trust me, Darius. Tell her how you truly feel, or you will lose her.”
Darius knew Warren was speaking honestly, but Darius convinced himself that Meredith would be reasonable, that she’d see things from his perspective. If he started speaking of love and all the softer things she made him feel, she’d wonder why he hadn’t asked her to marry him sooner, and it would circle back to his own bloody fears about her place in his world and whether she could survive. He didn’t want to have that fight again.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Warren said, collecting his hat. “I shall meet you at nine o’clock to accompany you to the Doctor’s Commons for the license.” He gave Darius a nod and took his leave.
Darius leaned back in his chair, listening to the rain tap softly on the windows. He wondered how on earth he could find a way to speak of love. What he felt surpassed any description so simple as the word love. Kit should have bloody warned him what this felt like. This gravity and weightlessness, this storm and sunlight, this breath and breathlessness, all happening in one vast infinite beating of his heart.
It was a long while before he decided to go to bed. As he paused by Meredith’s door, his hand touched the wood, and he imagined her sleeping against the backdrop of soothing rain sounds and dreaming.
Please let her dream of me … because I have done nothing but dream of her since she entered my life.
With a sigh that quivered deep within his chest, he returned to his chamber across the hall to sleep and perhaps to dream of all the tomorrows he and Meredith would soon have together.
13
“No!” Meredith jerked her hand from Darius’s grip and stepped away from him. The lovely morning light that had lulled her into warm thoughts of being in Darius’s arms was now too bright, making her face hot and her body tense.
She was alone with Darius in his study, a scenario which she’d been hopeful for before he had stridently—thoughtlessly—told her that they would have to marry. It hadn’t been a declaration of love, or a romantic sweeping into his arms as he professed he would die with her. No, he’d stated their upcoming marriage as a matter of fact, and it was simply a matter of choosing a date for the ceremony. Now he stood between her and the door she had hoped to escape through.
“No?” He arched a dark brow. “Is that your favorite word now?” His voice soft, seductive. She realized then that he didn’t understand what he thought was teasing, would instead exasperate and wound her.
His words reminded her of last night, how they’d been so teasing and intimate with each other. Now it felt as though a knife had plunged into her heart, and she couldn’t feel anything but pain…and anger. Oh yes, she was so very angry at him for turning her affection for him against her.
Last night had been such a wonderful gift. After the ball, she had fallen asleep dreaming of him, of his lips on her skin, his hands cupping and caressing her body and that powerful sense of connection when their bodies had joined together. It was everything she’d ever imagined and more. It was more than she’d ever hoped to share with a man. Then he’d ruined the memory by telling her … no, by informing her they would marry.
There had been no romantic prelude, no words spoken from his heart. Only a statement of fact as dry as the reading of a bill in Parliament. She had barely finished her breakfast before he’d pulled her into the study and told her they would be married within a few weeks.
“Darius, I cannot marry you.” Not like this. Not forced.
His blue eyes narrowed. “Why not?”
“Because you are only doing this out of a sense of duty and obligation.” She twisted her hands in her skirts, unable to meet his gaze now that the words were out.
“My life is built upon my sense of duty and obligation. That is what it means to bear the title of Tiverton.” That black bit of anguish in Meredith’s stomach only grew deeper. He didn’t seem to understand what she’d said. Or perhaps he did, but his response made it clear he didn’t understand why it mattered to her.
“Do not force me, Darius.”
He moved toward her, grasping her by the arms before she could dodge around the chair behind her.
