“What? Oh no, he is a fine man. I just can’t imagine being out in the park enjoying myself while Crell gets away whatever he’s done to Mrs. Crell.”
“Sometimes the world is most unfair. However, we will not give up,” Darius promised her. “Sometimes, time is required for an opportunity to present itself. In the meantime, you have a husband to find.”
Meredith’s shoulders slumped as she turned to go upstairs, resigned to their scheduled afternoon plans.
Mrs. Petersham was already wearing her riding habit and thus had no need to change. “Your Grace. I wonder if we might have a word in your study.” Mrs. Petersham asked once Meredith was out of sight.
“Of course.” He escorted Mrs. Petersham to his study and closed the door. When they were seated, he waited, more than a little curious about what she wished to say.
“I may be overstepping my bounds, but you are young and unmarried. Have you considered marriage?”
Darius chuckled. “Meredith is the one in need of a spouse, Frances, not me.”
“You are opposed to marriage then?”
“Opposed?” He leaned back in his chair. “Not at all. Rather, I hold it in high esteem. It is something quite sacred to me. My parents were a love match, you see.”
“And you want a love match for yourself?”
“Yes,” he answered honestly.
“Then forgive my continued overstepping, but… have you considered marrying Meredith?”
Darius his chest tightened. “I won’t lie and say that there haven’t been moments where I’ve imagined that as a possible future. But I cannot.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“Because she is not suitable.”
Mrs. Petersham’s brows rose. “How so?”
“Her family history. You must understand that there are expectations at my station, and not everyone in my position is lucky enough to be allowed a love match. If the burden lay only on my shoulders, that would be one thing. As much as she would make a perfectly suitable wife…a titled lady…a duchess, is another matter entirely. My duchess must have an impeccable family history, or she will not survive the scrutiny of society otherwise.”
Mrs. Petersham frowned as she stared at him. “She would face criticism for being an illegitimate child with no parents of consequence, is that what you mean?”
“Yes exactly. The haute ton can be cruel. More than cruel. I’ve seen women cut down to size in the middle of a ballroom and were never invited to attend social functions again. I’ve seen men lose their honor on a turn of a card and found dead the next morning by their own hand because the disgrace was too much to bear. There will be those ready to destroy her simply because I chose her. I have no power to protect the woman I love from that fate. There would be too many times she would be away from me. And if she is hurt because she married me? I couldn’t live with myself, Frances. That’s the truth of it.”
Frances was quiet a moment, her expression now pensive, rather than accusatory.
“As I recall, Lady Kentwell was a clerk’s daughter, and she has been received quite well as a countess. Do you think it’s possible Meredith could be welcomed in as easily as Lady Kentwell was?”
“Lady Kentwell is not illegitimate.” He winced at his own words, but they were true. “And Kit is far more intimidating than I am. No one dares to breathe a word against his wife for fear that he will resort to his barbaric ways from when he was a convict in Australia.”
“Forgive me, Your Grace, but you have more weapons at your disposal than your good looks and a rapier wit,” she replied smoothly. “You have just as much influence as Lord Kentwell, and you can be just as dangerous. You are also a favorite of the Prince Regent, are you not? Does none of that help your cause?”
“A royal’s favor can vanish in an instant. I could not risk a marriage simply because a prince decided to favor me for a time.”
Mrs. Petersham stood up. “Well, I confess I am disappointed. I believed you were made of sterner stuff. If that is your answer, then I believe that either Mr. Evers or even Mr. Burville would make a good match for her. Both gentleman have shown an interest in Meredith which is a good indication of their intentions, and I will encourage her to consider one of them. You may not have the resolve to love the girl and marry her, but I believe one of them would.” With that parting thought, Mrs. Petersham left the study. Darius sat there, knowing she was quite right.
But damn, the thought of Meredith marrying anyone felt like spikes being driven through his body. Mrs. Petersham would have him throw Meredith to the wolves, and he knew he was right in what he’d said. Meredith as a duchess would suffer. As a wife to a gentleman such as Warren, she would have no title but vast wealth. She would draw less ire from the aristocrats for marrying above her station.
He had sudden visions of Meredith in Warren’s arms, riding across the grounds of Warren’s country estate, Snowshill Manor, with Warren at her side.
Meredith holding a child with jade green eyes, just like Warren’s. A child that he wanted to be his. To have his blue eyes and Meredith’s stunning face and her gentle laugh…
Darius slammed his fist on his desk so hard it felt like he’d crushed every bone in his hand.
“Christ.” Pain radiated up his arm as he stood. He was still rubbing his fingers when he met Meredith and Mrs. Petersham in the entryway.
