After a quiet but pleasant dinner, the ladies left their table to retire to their chamber. Ambrose rose and walked them to the stairs, pausing and leaning in to Alex to whisper, aware of Perdita hovering close by.
“If you want me, I’ll wait up. Knock on my door after midnight, and I’ll make sure that Vaughn’s asleep. We can find somewhere to be together,” he whispered.
She bit her lip, her eyes bright, her cheeks pinkened. “See you after midnight.”
Their hands brushed, an almost innocent touch, but his skin burned and his body tensed with renewed hunger. He still wanted her, and even after having her once, heneededher again. He watched her ascend the stairs to the rooms, the sway of her hips too enticing. His hands itched to grab her hips and pull her back against him. It would feel so good to take her like that, their bodies pressed front to back. He liked to try all sorts of positions, and he’d only been able to try just a few with Alex. He wanted to try everything with her.
“Well, I think I’ll retire as well.” Rockford yawned, and with a tired smile he bid Vaughn and Ambrose goodnight and went up the stairs past Ambrose, who hadn’t moved even when Alex had disappeared out of sight.
It was just him and Vaughn now.Damnation. Maybe he would just go up to his room early.
“Worthing, care to share a bottle of brandy with me?” Vaughn had waved over one of the maids who was tending to customers at the bar, and she was handing him a full bottle of what looked like decent brandy. He would have said no, but it could help Vaughn fall asleep if he had some brandy in him.
He pretended to hesitate, his gaze traveling back up the stairs before he finally nodded.
“Very well, one glass.”
Vaughn’s smile was slight, as though he was surprised but a little glad that Ambrose had accepted. That treacherous twinge in his heart forced him to admit it might be nice to have a drink with an old friend and forget the years and circumstances that had created a wide chasm between them.
The barmaid smiled coyly as Vaughn slipped her a few extra coins to cover the bottle of brandy and then some. But his old friend didn’t even glance at the woman. Ambrose, before he’d met Alex, would have been tempted to give her a kiss and a rakish smile. Now, though, he didn’t want to focus on anyone except his sweet country girl.
“Shall we go upstairs? I’m not much for the rest of this company tonight.” Vaughn nodded at the happy, boisterous men at the surrounding tables who were singing and laughing.
Ambrose had little interest in being around that crowd either, at least not tonight. All he could think about was Alex.
Vaughn headed up the stairs, and Ambrose trailed behind, hoping he could get his friend thoroughly drunk so he could find a quiet moment with Alex. He and Vaughn entered their room, and Ambrose closed the door behind him. Vaughn collected two glasses from the small tray that had been brought up earlier with some cold meats to tide them over until morning. Ambrose settled in one of two chairs by the healthy fire that was devouring a stack of logs.
Vaughn brought him a glass of brandy, and Ambrose took it, swirling it gently as he leaned slightly toward the fire, his arms resting on his knees.
“Been a long time since we had a drink together,” Vaughn mused as he stood by the fire, his palm resting on the edge of the mantle. A small clock sat in the center of the mantle, its silver arms slowly moving to count down the hours until midnight. Ambrose sipped his brandy and counted the seconds, agonizing at how glacially each one seemed to pass.
“It has been a long time.” Ambrose glanced his way.
Vaughn stared at the flames, then drank his brandy and turned away from the fire. A melancholy expression filled his eyes, and he caught a hint of longing and regret in those cool depths, softening the other man’s eyes.
“Where did it all go wrong?” Vaughn suddenly asked him.
There was no ready answer, no quick thing Ambrose could say. His tongue felt a little heavy with dread at the thought of saying anything.
“I don’t know. Gareth was married, and then he lost his wife, and you lost your parents…”And I lost myself. The realization was suddenly there, a piece of his life he hadn’t wanted to admit had been lost. He wasn’t sure what had changed in him in the last few years, but something had. He’d seen Gareth broken and hardened by losing the love of his life. Vaughn had lost his parents and turned to gambling and other means to survive. And Ambrose? He had lost himself in endless seductions, caring less and less for what the poets called love. Because he was afraid—afraid to love. The idea of being with a woman, one he could love and then lose like Gareth had, had terrified the bloody hell out of him.
Vaughn took another sip of his drink, gazing in the flames. “Sometimes I feel as if we’re all damned.” Neither of them spoke, but there was a strange yet sad camaraderie between them in that moment as they both acknowledged the sorry state of their lives. Echoes of their boyhood laughter seemed to fill his head, and he could remember the feel of the grass beneath his feet as they ran through the meadows.
Once upon a time when we were young and carefree…
Ambrose raised his own glass again and took another drink. He was suddenly bone-weary, a weariness he didn’t want to fight. He stood, finished his drink, and gazed at his friend.
“I think I’ll just turn in for the night.” He took two steps toward his bed, and then the world spun and he blinked, stumbled, and all went dark.
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Chapter 12
Alex couldn’t sleep. She slipped out of bed, leaving Perdita alone, and fetched her dressing gown off the back of one of the chairs by the small fireplace. The silk slid against her skin and whispered against the worn floorboards as she crossed the room to the door. She shouldn’t go outside, but if she could get to Ambrose’s room…
Honestly, she chided herself, what could they do? There was nowhere they could meet in secret, not while they shared their bedrooms with other people.
She sighed and opened her door just a crack. The corridor was empty. She slipped through the doorway and then stepped into the narrow corridor. It was close to midnight, and the sounds from the main common room below were quiet. She tiptoed to Ambrose’s door, her heart beating in her ears as she rapped her knuckles against the wood.
