He turned out to be an asshole I don’t talk to anymore.
But it’s more about the loss. The likelihood that those romantic things will never happen.
It’s not like gay boys get to live happily ever after. I don’t think anyone does anymore. We’re all just …surviving. Always adapting. Neverliving.
And while the elders don’t say it outright, I see the sneers aimed at Moros’s back when he’s not looking. They use him for his cunning ability to lead, to fight, but because he’ll never procreate, they’ll never truly value him. Not like they do the younger members like Cassia and me, and their misplaced pairing of us.
Imagine what they’d think of me, of her, if they knew the truth.
“Oh, kitten. I can’t keep threatening you and not holding up my end.”
He slides those digits back between my lips, deep enough that I have to fight the reflex to gag around him.
Repeating the motion, his fingers slipping in and out of my mouth, I find it hypnotic. Soothing. That horniness I mentioned? Yeah, it’s only getting worse.
Maybe just … letting go would be best.
No more dreams. No more waiting.
Tentatively, I swallow. Sucking lightly around him and he groans long and low.
His length punches forward, ramming right into my ass.
My eyes float back and a gasp I can’t help escapes me, taking all those romantic wishes with it.
“Mm, fuck,” he murmurs into my ear, sending swirls of something far more potent than I’ve ever felt cascading through my lower stomach. “You do want it, don’t you.”
I shake my head, though my length screams at me for it.
The responding deep chuckle crawls beneath my skin, finding that too-tight place in my gut and toys with it. Takes hold of it. Turns it upside down and inside out until there’s nothing left that I recognize.
“Mm-mm,” I garble in a protest I don’t feel with my mouth full, saliva pooling against my cheek.
“Just don’t know when to give in, do you?” He adds a third finger to my mouth, stretching my lips and testing my throat. “Lucky for you, I like a good fight.”
His length presses into me harder, his hips rutting against me like he can’t help himself now that he’s found my crack to settle into, it’s all somuch.
“C’mon, kitten. Hike your leg up. Spread open for me.”
I take a long, long moment to resist his request. I really do. I even whine against his intrusion of my mouth.
But it’s like he’s worked his way into my brain and taken over the controls and I’ve stopped fighting back as I lift the limb.
“Mmm,” he growls. “He does listen.”
Feeling him even more now, with only thin cloth separating us, another keening noise makes its way up my throat.
“M-Moros,” I say on a soft breath once my mouth is empty and missing him.
I should tell him I’ve never done this before. That I have no idea what I’m doing. No clue where to put my hands.
Should I be—
Attempting to roll over, to look over my shoulder and ask him, earns me a palm to my cheek that presses me back into the pillow.
“Shhh, shhh, shhh, kitten.”
Wetness trails down my lower back as he slips his other hand beneath my pants.
