Buzzy Timmons, sworn enemy of my grandma and a fellow #Granfluencer from Chicago, was engaged in what looked like the same not-that-woman process with her grandson, albeit in a more passive-aggressive fashion. Her gray hair was pulled back by a large fabric bow as she furiously pecked at her phone with one finger. Her coral-colored sweater was wrapped around her shoulders like she was a country-club tennis pro, perfectly matching the suitcase set that her grandson, Ethan, was tryingtodrag off the walkway toward a row of seats far away from us. I couldn’t see much of him from where I stood, but he seemed different from the last time we’d crossed paths. Taller, maybe?
Buzzy’s expression grew pleased, and she said something I couldn’t make out; then both of them turned in our direction. My whole face got hot as my eyes shot down to inspect the carpet. I was praying they hadn’t caught me staring. Not that I was staring. I totally wasn’t. More like trying to memorize what this grown-up Ethan looked like for self-preservation purposes. I hadn’t seen him in at least three years. Back then, he’d been almost the same height as me and skinny, with a close-cropped haircut. If he and Buzzy were going to be at TrendCon this week, I needed to know who to steer clear of or risk getting caught in the cross fire. That was the only reason I was looking. Obviously.
“Jamie, can you take a picture for us?” BamBam’s voice rang out as if she were making a flight announcement for the terminal.
“Um…sure,” I said, hoping the color had left my cheeks. Stepping forward, I took the gate attendant’s phone and begansnapping photos, changing my angle slightly to crop other people out of the picture and mitigate the shine coming from the fluorescent lighting. I could tell BamBam was getting impatient, but she’d be grateful later when this person, or their mom, posted these online.
“And maybe a quick video, too? You could say that line? My mom thinks it’s so funny. She is always quoting you,” the gate attendant said.
“Of course, honey. What’s your mama’s name?”
“Sherry.”
“Got it.” BamBam nodded at me, and I quickly switched the phone to video, then gave her a thumbs-up so she knew I was ready to record. Pulling her shoulders back, BamBam winked at the camera, then said, “Sherry, I’m here with your baby, and I heard you’re a fan. Real Bad Mama Jamas recognize each other. We’ve both been fine since your kid was in pajamas. Stay bad, Sherry.” BamBam blew the phone a kiss as she delivered her signature catchphraseStay bad, then laughed as I cut the video off.
“Here you go.” I adjusted my baseball cap and pushed my long braid over my shoulder before handing the phone back to the gate agent. “Hopefully, one of those pictures will work.”
“Oh, they will,” BamBam crooned. “Jamie doesn’t like when I brag, but she is very good with cameras.”
“Well, thank you,” the gate agent said, waving the phone in my general direction. “Ms. Mini, you just sit right there until we start calling first class to board.”
“Thank you,” BamBam said, honey still coating her words. Winking at me, she tilted her chin up, then began struttingtoward an open chair. Once we were out of earshot, she whispered, “That two-bit, wannabe-me, knockoff Buzzy can enjoy herself at the back of the plane. We’re getting leg room.”
While BamBam cackled over her victory, I glanced back at Buzzy and Ethan. Buzzy was grinning at Ethan and holding on to his arm as they walked toward where he’d stashed their carry-on suitcases. I wondered if he still had freckles or if he’d outgrown them…
Not that I needed that information. I gave my head a little shake. BamBam had her reading glasses on and mini-keyboard out. Her phone screen was blown up, so I could see her answering fan questions on her most recent video, about removing makeup stains from white shirts without bleach.
Without glancing up, BamBam asked, “So did you look at that list I sent you? What’d you think?”
BamBam had recently decided it was time for her to reach a younger audience. As she put it, there was more money in marketing to young people without money than there was in marketing to women over fifty who got money. When she’d been invited to be on the Silver Influencers panel at TrendCon, the biggest content creator’s convention of the year, she’d taken it as a sign that it was time to start collaborating with more beauty influencers who were closer to my age. In true BamBam fashion, she’d spent the week before the con studying the videos of younger beauty creators and whittling her top-tier “to work with” list down to six names. One of them, Sterling James, was also a Chicago-based influencer. If only he were on the plane instead of Buzzy…
“I think any of them could be good. Except that Jackie person who does Halloween makeup.”
“You don’t think that could be fun for me?”
“On Halloween maybe? Goth girl is not your vibe, BamBam.” I laughed.
“If you say so.” She shrugged and looked up over her bifocals at me. “So, you’ll do a bit of scouting when we land? Try to make some new friends for your grandma?”
Technically, this was a question, but I didn’t dare answer no. She considered it part of my job to track these creators down and speak to my “fellow young people” until we met someone it made sense for her to collaborate with. Never mind that I personally knew almost nothing about beauty. Not to mention no one knew who I was, which was how I liked it.
“Yup.” I nodded.
“That’s my girl.” BamBam smiled and turned back to her keyboard.
I sighed and started digging through my bag for my laptop. I’d shot some footage of BamBam going around the airport so I could do a travel recap of her getting to TrendCon. Might as well start editing it now. Sticking on my headphones, I put on the soundtrack to one of my current favorite movies,Direct Mail, and got to work, hoping the magic of the music would inspire me to do something new and cool with otherwise mundane images of moving walkways and BamBam’s cheetah-print jacket.
“What?” I nearly dropped my laptop when BamBam tapped me on the shoulder, startling me out of my concentration.
Waiting for me to take my headphones off, she smirked. “Time to go.”
“Oh.” I looked over at the boarding line. The gate agent was already scanning in an early-boarding family. “That didn’t take long.”
“It took twenty-five minutes. You were just focused.” BamBam waved her hand in a hurry-it-up gesture, but she was smiling. My grandma was about the only person in the family who didn’t really care how much time I lost trying to get an edit right.
Leaving my headphones around my neck, I slipped my laptop back into my backpack and stood just as the attendant started the call for our group.
“Hurry up. I want Buzzy to have plenty of time to see me in line.” BamBam cackled. “That upgrade cost me a vital organ, but it’ll be worth it to see her face.”
