Orion is quiet for a moment, his eyes on the Kosmos, averting mine. “I don’t think he’s coming back, Zellie.”
I dig my fingernails into the inside of my palm.
After experiencing the first game, I’m fully aware of how treacherous the stakes are. Call me naive, but I didn’t think they would be deadly.
Twenty-eight
“Talk to me, Zizi.”
Orion sits outside my bathroom door. The healer left shortly after treating my injuries—all superficial, thankfully. Resting my chin on my knees, I squeeze my legs together with my arms. I don’t want to talk to Orion. He won’t understand. I don’t want to speak at all. I need time alone to process the thoughts in my head. To sort out the day’s events and rid myself of these fears and worries that have woven themselves into the fabric of my being so tightly that Ican’t fucking breathe.
I reach for the black sleep set I brought into the bathroom with me. At this moment, I hate the luxury. I hate myself for basking in this opulence that my friends back home don’t even know exists. I hate that someone fuckingdiedtoday, and no one seems to care. My breathing is ragged, tears stinging my eyes. I run my fingers through my hair, leaving the wet strands to air dry.
Throwing the door open, I breeze past Orion, rushing out the bedroom door and to the entrance of my apartment. “Where are you going?” He calls after me.
“Out. Don’t wait for me.” Barefoot, I slam the door and hurry down the hall. Is it fair for me to push Orion away at this moment? Probably not. But is any of this fair to me or the other humans? To Graham? Life isn’t black and white. I live in shades of silver, speckled with flickers of white light and blotches of inky darkness. There’s no right or wrong; there is only how I feel.
“Zell?” Leo opens his door fully, tugging me through the doorway and into his apartment without hesitation. “Are you okay? By the stars, what are youwearing?”
“Pajamas.” I can’t wear pajamas, but he’s allowed to look delectable in dark grey lounge pants? His black tee is fitted to his form, his hair still wet—pretty hypocritical of him, if you ask me.
“Didn’t want to put some clothes on before knocking on my door?”
“If you can’t handle yourself like a big boy, then I can just leave.”
Leo steps closer, invading my personal space. His voice drops. “Oh, I can handle myself like a big boy, sweetheart. Want to see?” Goosebumps pebble my skin as heat pools low within me. Why am I here? Was I craving the distraction I knew he could offer? Leo places his hands on either side of my face, framing me in. “Tell me what’s wrong?” His eyes search out the answer in mine. He feels incredibly calm and safe—safe enough that I open myself, the dam within me breaking open.
“Everything,” I whisper, closing my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek.
Leo hoists me up at the waist and carries me backwards towards his sofa. My legs instinctively wrap around him, and as he sits us down, my limbs shift so that I’m straddling him. I should be more aware of being on top of him, and barely clothed at that. But I’m longing for his closeness, his touch. I’m cravinghim. Maybe it’s a distraction, maybe it’s allowing myself tofeel, but I won’t deny myself this glimpse of him, even if it’s only this once.
Feather-soft lips brush against my cheek, kissing each tear away one by one. This intimacy is uncharted territory for us, one that has my insides gleaming like a star with a feeling of rightness. Whatever this pull is between us… It’s magnetizing, radiant. I want to bask in the glow of it. My body exhales, and I sigh, burrowing deeper against Leo.
His thumb softly caresses the back of my neck. The silence is palpable; neither of us dares to shatter the tenderness of the moment. “He didn’tdeserve to die. I don’t know why I’m so bothered by this. I can’t recall if I even said two words to him.”
“None of us deserves to die. You’re bothered by it because youcare; because what they’re doing to us, what they’re putting us through, is wrong.” Leo gently brushes hair out of my face, the movement so at variance with his unruly looks and our typical banter. “They are not better than us. We will show the galaxies what we are made of.”
I place my hands on his chest, relishing the feel of his muscular body beneath me. “I wish they would get the stones themselves.”
“Mhm,” he hums in agreement, and my stars, it is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. “My sponsor told me they can’t restore the constellation themselves. Something about each constellation being warded against other astrological signs to prevent interference. The Kosmos are timeless beings, or some bullshit, so none of the signs apply to them.”
“I know. Orion told me it has to be a Gemini.”
Leo growls at the mention of Orion. I roll my eyes, continuing, “I don’t understand why they couldn’t pick one human to do this instead of putting all of us at risk.”
“It’s a flex of power, if you ask me. Because they can.” Leo’s focus continues to bounce between my eyes and my lips.Kiss me already.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Leo’s grip moves to my hips, his hands dangerously close to grazing my backside.For the love of all things, don’t stop touching me. “Couldn’t agree more, sweetheart.”
The conversation doesn’t align with the raging yearning burning me alive from the inside. Does he feel it, too? “For once, we agree.” I lean closer, brushing my chest against him, savoring the way his breathing hitches and the way he tries to adjust his hardening length beneath me. “Kiss me,” I breathe, my mouth hovering in front of his.
“Zellie…” Leo’s voice trails off. Our lips don’t connect, yet his touch lingers. I’m a fool. How did I misread the signals? I push off of his chest and attempt to swing my legs off of him, but he tightens his hold, his hands gripping my skin. “Look at me.”
Shame flushes my skin. I shake my head, looking anywherebut at him.
“Look at me,” he demands.
