We wander the shops, finding ice cream and paying with silver coins left in our apartments for sundaes overloaded with toppings. Both the Celestials and Astrals treat Lenny and me with such compassion, despite us being outsiders both to their kind and their world. While their mystical beauty still causes me to take pause, I’m slowly becoming accustomed to the transcendental qualities surrounding me. The day is cool, the ice cream is sweet, and, for the first time since finding that envelope in my room, I feel a sense of peace.
Eighteen
This is the definition of what a tortured afterlife is. Am I in the Netherlight? I may as well be. My arms tremble with the effort to push myself up from my twentieth push-up. As I hold the plank position, shaking and willing my arms to grant me strength, I watch a drop of sweat fall off my nose. “Almost there, just push up.” Easy for Atlas to say as he stands there andwatchesme. I complete the rep and fall to my side, rolling onto my back. I should never have agreed to let him help with training. Who needs allies?
Orion, who was watching my struggle and looking too entertained for my liking, waltzes over to where I lie.
“This is fucking torture,” I tell him, grasping the bandana tied loosely at the base of my neck and wiping the perspiration from my face. When I arrived back from my outing with Lenny, I was pleasantly surprised to find my wardrobe fully stocked with camisoles, bandanas, and running tights. Not quite my usual comfortable cargo pants, but useful.
This morning, as I dressed and braided both sides of my head, a sense of contentment washed over me at being reunited with clothing that felt like… well, me. Orion met me at my apartment, and on our walk to the training fields, he explained his plans. “We’ll start with improving your strength and endurance. Once that has improved, we’ll conquer hand-to-hand combat. After that, basic weapons training and sparring.”
“Sounds joyous.” I’d never heard of anything worse in my life.
Now here I am, pondering the possibilities of death by sore muscles. I’m not the only one struggling. All of us from Lunara appear to be at a physical disadvantage. Aria is incredibly nimble; her quick feet allow herto sprint with ease. Solene doesn’t even bother with bodyweight exercises; she’s sparring with Miles. She swings her sword with ease, while I’m not even sure I could hold the weapon up with both of my hands.Enough.I scold myself—comparison will get me nowhere.
Orion comes into my line of vision, standing over me. He offers me a hand up, which I gratefully accept. I can’t help but notice Leo staring at the interaction, and my stomach sours. I hope he feels every ounce of my anger in my stare. He turns away first, returning to his aggressive pummeling of his training dummy. “Let’s run two laps.”
“Let’s not.”
“It’s the only way to improve, Zellie.”
“Lenny!” I yell over to where he lies on the ground with Inia counting his crunches. “Come, run with me!”
He bounces up before I can even finish my sentence. At least we’ll be miserable together. We make our way to the track sluggishly, complaining about aches and pains. Let the torture continue.
I’m famished. My stomach rumbles loudly enough for everyone to hear, and I don’t even care. Orion ran me into the ground today. Actually into the ground, as I sit on the turf, unable to move. I completed an upper body, lower body and full-body circuit—something I’ve never done and honestly didn’t know existed. There’s sweat in my eyes, and I hurt in places I didn’t think you could. “Riri, I’m going to need you to carry me back.”
“And diminish your honor? Not a chance, Princess.” I scowl in his general direction, causing Orion to laugh deeply with his head tilted skywards. He is always beautiful, but when he laughs like that? Beautiful and free. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” Music to my ears. Leo sits close by as he stretches, and I can feel his glare beaming into the back of my head.What the fuck is his problem?
Ignoringthatissue, I head out, my feet shuffling slowly behind Orion. Merri, Celeste, and Atlas offer me tired waves. Graham is still running laps on the track—I don’t think I saw him rest once today. The others are in various states of finishing up or contemplating their life choices, at least that’s what I assume. A hovercraft waits for us past the entryway, and I could kiss Orion for not making us walk back. I settle into the vehicle and lean my head against the curved enclosure, closing my eyes.
“Zellie?” Orion’s hushed voice has my eyelids fluttering open. “Time to wake up.”
“Fastest ride of my life.” I sit up to exit the hovercraft and find myself already in my apartment, lying on the sofa. Did I sleepwalk? “Did… did you carry me?”
“You were so tired, I didn’t want to wake you.”
There’s something soft and sweet in Orion’s expression that has my insides unraveling. The moment is tender, too intimate. I don’t know what to make of my feelings for him. Leo has planted a seed of doubt in my head, but that feeling is so at odds with the way he makes me feel, with the things he says about me, or with the way he’s looking at me right now. I feel like I’m balancing on a tightrope with confusion swirling around me, threatening to tip me over the edge. I decide to ignore Leo, trusting my intuition instead. Making light of the moment, I fake a gasp, clutching my chest. “But my honor!”
Orion laughs, shoving my shoulder and pushing away to the other end of the sofa. “Go take a bath, Princess; you smell. Then we can stretch.”
Idostink, and a bath sounds heavenly. He doesn’t have to tell me twice. “Yes, sir.”
“Why couldn’t Lunara have a fitness facility like the others?” I feel useless, disadvantaged. Orion and I sit on the floor, toe-to-toe in an open-legged stretch that has the inside of my thighs burning.
“What you lack physically, you make up for in here,” he taps his chest, followed by his head, “and in here.”
“Let’s hope you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right.” Arrogant Orion is out to play.
“How do we make a difference, Riri?” I grimace, leaning further towards my toes to stretch out my hamstring. “This all is so fucked up.”Somethingneeds to change.
“We play the long game. We win. Then, we make changes from the inside. We can rebuild this world into something better. That takes patience. That takestime, Zi. Then no one will have to do this ever again.”
He seems so confident. How are we going to do this? I’ve barely managed a task harder than planting crops or extracting mystical substances; how am I, a mere mortal, supposed to change an entire system that relies onusinghumans? “Do you have a plan?”
“I’ve had a very long time to establish what changes I want to make. The Kosmos are deeply rooted like a weed throughout the galaxy. People believe in them. You can’t overturn something like that overnight. But I’ve been watching, waiting. We’ll make subtle changes until they implode, and the worlds will know exactly who they are. You only need to stick it out, follow my lead, and wait.”
