“You’re not sorry you did that at all!”
“No, I’m not.” He knelt beside me, taking my face in his hands. “But Iamsorry that I made you cry,” he said with quiet sincerity.
“Right,” I scoffed.
My anger was ebbing away slowly, but I was damned if I would let him see that.
“Did you want anything else? Have you come up with another sadisticreminder of my true role? Or have you simply decided that it was time I resumed my obligations towards you, whether I like it or not? Knowing you, either way I should probably take my trousers off and bend over something, right?”
“No, Renata,” he said softly. “Although they are bothextremelytempting options. Look, it’s wet around here, no forests in the vicinity, and the clouds have been promising rain since yesterday. I knew there was no danger?—”
“There was for you,” I pointed out. “The roof could have collapsed. The explosion could have been bigger and taken you with it. The fire could have spread faster, trapping you ...”
“Is that what made you cry? That you were scared for me?” he asked gently.
“That too,” I admitted with reluctance, “but also the fact that you humiliated me.”
I was glad for the cover of gathering darkness, concealing the fresh tears forming in my eyes.
“I did. Badly.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and he touched my hip in a non-verbal apology. “But you crossed a line, my girl.”
“Oh, did I? And what line would that be?” I asked, my anger rising anew.
“It’s one thing to disagree with me, nothing wrong with that. But I won’t have you, you, of all people, call something I said stupid in front of others. Especially not bloody Albert,” heanswered harshly. “I couldn’t have let him and his new gang of friends think that I’m taking commands from you.”
“Well, my apologies to your poor little self-esteem that I didn’t realise was so very fragile!” I snapped back at him.
He tensed and bit his lip, probably fighting an internal struggle with himself not to start yelling at me or worse. But it passed quickly, and when he spoke again, it was in a level, tolerant voice: “You don’t understand. I don’t mind you bruising my ego. But you can only contradict and question me publicly so many times before you’ll inspire others to do the same. Then someone might get an idea to try and take my place. Or several someones. Itisto our advantage that I was voted in almost unanimously. That my people don’t squabble over whom to follow. It allows us to be efficient, the fact that there is no friction among us. Do you see what I mean?”
I considered his words and then nodded slowly, suddenly feeling as deflated as I was riled up.
“In the future, think about not squandering our luck with something that doesn’t warrant it. Something that is a quarrel that you have with your man rather than with your leader. Can you distinguish between the two next time?”
My bow lay next to me, and I traced its cool, carbon upper limb with my fingers before snapping my eyes up to Einar’s.
“I can,” I said. “If you grant me the same courtesy.”
He blinked in surprise, his eyebrows arching up.
“I am yourwhore.” I saw him flinch at the word. “It’s true, I am. And what’s more, I like it. I like being your whore more than I’ve ever liked being anyone’s girlfriend. Nevertheless, out there”—I swept my arms to indicate not so much the expanse of nature as our modest troops—“inpublic, I am the captain of your archers. Do you think you would have gotten this far without me?”
His lips parted, but I gave him no chance to respond.
“Well, think again! To be able to do what I do, you need me to have their respect, too. Don’t endanger it like this. Deny me food next time. Assign me some disgusting, labour-intensive task. Flog me—that is your favourite after all. But don’t sabotage the mask I wear for others. I told you already, the whore underneath it is for your eyes alone.”
He closed his mouth again, nodding curtly, a plethora of emotions etched in his face. Worry creased his brow and guilt lined his eyes, but the corners of his mouth slackened sinfully.
“Point taken. But you know I’d never do to you what I’d do to the others. That’d be like demoting you to their level.” He grimaced as if in disgust and shook his head firmly. “No. You only get special treatment. Even when you drive me up the wall.”
“I don’t know whether to be honoured or horrified.” I scoffed.
“Why not both?”
The crooked edges in the bridge of his nose were sharper in the descending shadows, yet somehow they only underlined the wry humour in his expression.
“Touché.” I couldn’t stop a smile from creeping into my voice. “I’ll be more careful about what I say from now on.”
I leaned closer to him, letting him pull me into an embrace. He kissed me on the lips, cupping my face.
