Despite the trembling of my fingers and my shallow breathing, I felt a vague stirring of lust in my abdomen at the sight of him. Tall, easily twice my age, his hair more salt than pepper, he was soft-spoken and commanded the kind of stately elegance that one associated with class. Had his wife not been by his side, I might have considered christening my newly acquired freedom with him, involuntary though it was. Would he have let me seduce him?
I pushed all such thoughts aside as I replied to him levelly,
“For self-defence and in an us-versus-them scenario? Yes. Not without regret, but without guilt or hesitation.”
Henry looked at me in a way that I was very familiar with. The creased line between his brows and the tautness around his severe lips told me plainly that he felt as if he had truly seen me for the first time. Seen a side of me that was utterly incompatible with the image he had had of me, incompatible with my petite size, my attractive body, and my young face. Realising that my soft harmlessness was but an illusion.
“Where do you propose to go?” Kevin asked me, pushing his spectacles higher up the bridge of his nose, which was shiny with perspiration.
I told him about the archery shop a few blocks away that I had looked up while we still had internet connection.
“And after?” he prompted me.
I answered honestly that I did not know, but that I reckoned leaving the city for a less densely populated area would likely be a smart thing to do.
“See, I was thinking that reaching an island might be a good idea,” Kevin said. “They’re contained territories with lower population headcount and better border control. Even during the Covid-19 pandemic, island nations generally fared better than continental countries. We’re close to the coast here, and we could take a boat and hopefully make it to either Elba, Corsica, or Sardinia. I can sail. If you get me to a boat, I will get you to an island.”
“Sounds good,” I agreed, the sunlight pouring in through the window warm on my back.
“No,” Henry countered vehemently. “It sounds like a nice fairy tale. Nothing else.”
“What could possibly go wrong, right?” I nodded at him, attempting a rueful smile. “I realise well enough that it’s a far-fetched plan. So is any other plan right now. But sitting here and waiting for help that isn’t coming means certain starvation.”
“We could always just go out for food and come back ’ere, non?” Delphine suggested carefully.
“That sounds more reasonable to me,” said Henry.
“Sure, it may seem safer at first glance. But what is your long-term outlook? Sneaking out every few days for supplies through a dense population of infected? Holed up in here for years to come? When you think about it, mad as my proposal may sound, it is in fact the saner of the two. Think about it, please.”
Cawing reached us from the outside. I turned around to discover that crows had arrived to feast on the abandoned corpse.
6
KILLER INSTINCT
Only Dave, Kevin, Josh, Amit, and Monika decided to accompany me the next day. As much as I hadn’t really expected anyone but my new friends to join me, I wasn’t prepared for the crushing sense of defeat I experienced when I failed to convince anyone else to come along.
Particularly Delphine.
“Please,” I pleaded with her that evening, looking up into her ebony-smooth face with all the earnestness I could muster. “I promise you, I will get you and your child to safety. There is no life for you here. Do it for your baby.”
“Thank you, Renata,” she told me softly, “but there is no point. I haven’t felt my son move in almost two weeks. This is not ze first time that my child has died inside me. I know ’e’s gone.”
I felt as if she had knocked the air out of me. Deeply ashamed and suddenly terrified to hear more.
“I would just be baggage to you all,” Delphine continued sadly. “And for what? Both my fiancé and my child are gone.” Her voice faltered, and my own throat constricted in sympathy. “And wizout medical ’elp I’ll likely soon follow in their footsteps. I will not increase ze danger for you all just to grieve them for a bit longer before ze inevitable.”
“Oh, Delphine.”
To my surprise, she hugged me. It was an awkward hug, owing both to her protruding belly and the fact that the top of my head barely reached above her shoulders.
“I am glad I met you, Renata. You’re a much better person than you think. Don’t blame yourself for me,ma chérie,” she told me in farewell.
My heart was thumping forcefully in my chest as the hotel door shut behind us with a creaking sound that I found disconcertingly loud. Being outside after so many weeks spent in the confines of our accommodation felt as surreal as the completely deserted streets strewn with rubbish looked.
The buildings around us seemed sad despite their bright yellow facades, as if they regretted being deserted by their former occupants in a resigned manner of accepting the inevitable. Wilted begonias waved to us desolately from their window boxes. A warm breeze chased plastic bags through the dignified archways, making them look like ghosts. A pair of jeans hung abandoned on one of the clotheslines strung across the street from balcony to balcony.
When Petr and I first arrived, this area was crowded with local families and vacationers.
