Sliding off the ultrasound chair, I paced around the room, cursing internally, my breath coming out so fast and shallow I felt as if no air at all was reaching my lungs.
“Renny, slow down. I’ll make this easier for you.” Grabbing my shoulders, Dave stopped me in my tracks. “Here.” He spread his arms to indicate the whole building. “This hospital won’t be ready for proper patient care for a long, long time. Bastia is in better shape, but its resources are stretched thin, and you cannot go there because of Santini. There is no hospital for you in Corsica,” he told me slowly and emphatically, not taking his eyes off my face.
“Yeah, that makes everything much easier, thanks ever so much!” I snickered, my voice booming with unveiled sarcasm.
“It does. Because there’s only one thing you can conceivably do.”
“Oh?”
“Leave as soon as possible. And head to Lausanne, Switzerland. Their hospital is currently the best-staffed and best-equipped one in Europe. That’s it. It even fits right into your plans, doesn’t it?”
I considered this, biting my lower lip until my mouth filled with a metallic taste.
“I suppose,” I conceded at last. “Gibraltar is blocked off, so we would have had to cross the mainland anyway. The only difference is we’ll stay in Switzerland for some time ...”
“Exactly.” Dave smiled at me encouragingly. “And you’ll depart from there as a family of four. And Kevin and I will come with you.”
It was my turn to smile widely at him.
“You will?”
“Last time I saw him, Paoli brought me the news that Lausanne now offers medical training. Kev and I can finally become proper doctors. So, we’re coming with, and I can be with you the whole way. Einar will be thrilled, I’m sure.”
Dave finally laughed then, and impossibly, so did I.
Cool winds of early March assailed me as we stepped outside, snapping me back to the present. Einar had a small but heavy backpack, and he also carried a black duffel bag in one hand while his other hand rested on the small of my back. We walked towards the train station where our silver Mazda and other vehicles were parked. Helga and Emma were already waiting there with their suitcases. Mickey and Cyril joined us soon after with bags of their own. Laura arrived last, a rucksack almost bigger than she was on her back.
I looked around the quiet village. Light only spilled out from one window in sight, and it didn’t come from the cottage where Monika lived with her new tormentor. With luck, he wouldn’t even wake up. We were in the clear.
I took a deep, shaky breath and, looking around, my eyes landed on the sleepy pink train station for the final time, willing the image to imprint itself firmly in my mind.
After driving for only a few minutes, we stopped in the middle of the forest, the men dragging a sailboat from its hiding place. The vessel was fastened on a chassis that the men hooked onto the car, sweating and swearing profusely all the while in several languages. Then we drove on.
I woke up at the crack of dawn just as Einar brought the silver Mazda to a full stop on a beachside road. It was noticeably warmer there, early spring fragrant and palpable in the air.
“Well, good morning, sunshine.” Einar opened the car door for me. “Ready to sail away to our new life?”
“You bet.”
With his help, I managed to exit the vehicle, however inelegantly, my feet sinking into the sand. Straightening my back, I looked around. Dave and Kevin both waved over to me whilst unhooking their own boat-laden chassis. Russell’s girlfriend, Julia, stood nearby with their infant son in her arms, watching Russ unload their bags. I went over to her, the moist sand squelching with each step. A primordial odour of salt and algae reached my nostrils, carried on the mild breeze.
“Hi, Julia.” I wiggled my fingers at the baby in her arms, who froze at my greeting, eyes going wide.
Interactions with new mothers and their small children had become significantly easier for me ever since I learnt that I would soon join in their midst with not one, but two babies of my own. Admittedly, a small part of my prior jealous inadequacy remained, like an ingrown bullet fragment left to fester in a wound. They had it easier. They didn’t have to wait for so many uncertain years. They didn’t need to fear as much during their pregnancy, trusting their bodies, where I could not. But it was no longer painful.
“Hi, Renny.” Julia looked at me, sizing me up. “Oh my, you’re almost as big as I was in my final month, you poor thing! How are you?”
“Oh, you know.” I shrugged. “Tired all the time. Unbalanced, knocking things over wherever I go. But it is so incredible to feel them move. Two actual human lives growing inside of me.”
“Aww.” She freed one of her arms and rubbed my shoulder. “Well, Russ and I are chuffed to bits for the two of you. I bet Einar’s over the moon?”
I bit my lip. The sound of sea waves advancing and receding filled my ears, and I counted to ten before replying levelly, “I’m sure that he is, deep down. But for now, he is mainly worried. I think.”
The fact of the matter was that Einar rarely ever spoke of the pregnancy as anything but a health condition that endangered me, too consumed by his concerns ever to bring up the subject of baby names or child-rearing.
“Oh, well, of course he is. He adores you. I never thought I’d see the day when he’d dote on someone the way he does on you.”
“Yes. I just hope he’ll dote the same way on them.” I indicated my stomach.
