“Itiswhat I want,” she said. “I know there are a lot of issues with England. I mean, colonialism sucks, but I’ve never felt that where I am now is where I’m supposed to be. But I’m not an idiot. I know that when I get there, this might be a case of the grass is always greener. Maybe I’ll hate it. Maybe I’ll realize my home isn’t there, either, but Ihaveto try. Now. While I’m young… and healthy enough to do it.”
She looked at Marley. Her cousin understood her like no one else could. Marley and Ruby had both undergone mastectomies to lower their chances of developing cancer, but this mutation brought other cancer risks that weren’t as easily prevented. There was no guarantee that they wouldn’t get sick like their mothers had. Marley, more than anyone else, understood why Ruby needed to take advantage of the present, because they’d seen what the future could look like.
Marley nodded, smiling sadly. “I get it.”
Nik put his arm around Marley then, supporting her. Ruby was so happy that Marley had Nik to lean on now.
Ruby exhaled. “If it doesn’t feel right when I’m there, then I’ll come back. Or I’ll go somewhere else. Maybe I’m chasing a ghost, but I have to do this.”
Marley nodded, holding up her glass. “You’re doing the right thing, Ruby. Here’s to seizing the day.”
EVERYONE LEFT THE PARTYimmediately after the countdown at midnight. Marley, Nik, Shayne, and Anderson went to some after-hours club downtown since Shayne said they couldn’t waste their fabulous outfits, and Reena and Nadim headed home, probably to take advantage of the fact that the baby was at her mother’s all night. Ruby went up to bed in the spare room and fell asleep immediately.
Fifteen minutes before the car was supposed to be at Marley’s house to take Ruby to the airport the next day, there was a knock on the door. Assuming the driver was early, Ruby rushed to open it before the knocking woke Marley or Nik.
But it wasn’t an airport limo driver at the door. It was Rashid.
He looked gorgeous. Of course he did. But what was he doing here?
“Rashid… I—”
He interrupted her. “Ruby, can we talk? All I need is ten minutes of your time before you go.”
“My car to the airport…” She looked over his shoulder and saw the black car pull into the driveway.
He cringed. “I’m too late. Or can I drive you instead?Like…”
Like they’d originally intended. Ruby exhaled. It was about a thirty-minute drive to Pearson Airport, longer if there was traffic. Which there always was. Would he spend the whole drive begging her to stay with him?
She looked at his face. His eyes looked… sad. Sad that he hadn’t been able to convince her to stay, or sad that he’d hurt her? That they’d hurt each other? But even if he’d tried to manipulate her, she didn’t want to regret not letting him say his piece now. And she wanted to make sure he understood why she’d said no to staying.
She nodded. “Okay. You can drive me to the airport.”
Rashid went to speak to the driver while Ruby brought her suitcases to the porch. He rushed back up to help her with her bags and put them into the back of the Volvo. Ruby belted herself into the passenger side.
How many times had they driven together like this? To all those Christmas dates that weren’t technically dates, but really were. She remembered the time he showed up on a street corner during a snowstorm five minutes after she called him crying the day she’d argued with her father. Rashid had literally rescued her.
The streets were nearly deserted as Rashid drove toward the highway. Not surprisingly, he was quiet as he navigated. Why did he want to have a conversation in the car anyway?
The combination of the empty streets and the snow made downtown Toronto look like a snow globe—a perfect, magical city. It was strange to think that Ruby came here a year ago because she had to—she needed her father’s help to get a UKvisa. And the whole time she was here, she told herself she was only passing through.
But she’d ended up in a job that she’d mostly enjoyed, and she’d made some great friends. Ruby felt connected to the city in a new way. It no longer only felt like the setting of her difficult childhood memories, or the place where her mother got sick and died, or where her father lived with his replacement family. It felt like a diverse, vibrant city where there was always something to do, and where Ruby had made both the best and the worst memories of her life. She was grateful to Rashid for making her appreciate her hometown in a new way.
When they’d been on the highway for two minutes, he finally spoke. “Thanks for letting me take you,” he said.
“No problem. It beats awkward conversations with a cabdriver.”
He chuckled. “Yeah.”
He was still quiet. It reminded her a bit of when they didn’t know each other well and she would ramble to fill the emptiness of his silence. “Are we actually going to talk?” she asked. “Because they won’t let you past security at the airport without a ticket, so this is our last chance.”
He sighed. “Yeah… I haven’t thought this out. I knew I needed to see you… to apologize before you left, but now… I don’t know what to say.”
“You could start with an actual apology.”
He nodded, his eyes not leaving the road in front of him. “I’m sorry. I mean it, Ruby, I’m so sorry. I should have told you I decided to stay, and I should have talked to you before telling Ayesha to consider you for that job in Toronto. I was selfish. Iwas thinking only of myself. My sister knocked some sense into me last night.”
“Which sister?”
