CHAPTER THIRTY
Marley
In the morning, Marley had an email in her inbox from a woman named Jaime, the facilitator of the BRCA support group. It said that Marley would be welcome at the meeting tonight, but if she wasn’t ready to talk to the whole group yet, Jaime would be happy to have a coffee with her alone before the group started.
Despite her previous determination to ask for help, everything in Marley wanted to say no. She didn’t know a thing about this woman—why would she talk to her about everything she was going through? Marley had done fine bottling everything in for so long. She had McQueen. That was enough.
ButwasMarley doing fine? She was a mess, afraid of every pain, and terrified about what her future with this broken gene would be like. And this was just coffee with one person. Not a whole group. She wrote back, thanking Jaime and agreeing to meet.
The coffee shop Jaime suggested was in the north end of the city. Jaime had told her she’d be wearing a tan blazer with a black T-shirt, so Marley easily found her sitting alone in a boothin the back. Marley squared her shoulders and approached the woman. She was nervous but determined. “Hi, are you Jaime? I’m Marley.”
Jaime smiled widely and stood to shake Marley’s hand. She was East Asian and looked about Marley’s age or maybe a bit younger. She was wearing loose pants with her tan blazer, and Marley thought the outfit looked fabulous on her. “Happy to meet you, Marley. Grab yourself a drink, then we can chat.”
Marley smiled awkwardly. This woman seemed so friendly. “Okay… I’ll get… tea.”
After getting a matcha latte, Marley joined Jaime in the booth. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me.”
“Not a problem. I come straight from work, so I usually hang out here alone before the group every month. Having someone to talk to is so much better than reading legal briefs.” Marley must have looked confused, because Jaime explained. “I’m a lawyer.”
Oh. Marley assumed that she was a social worker or therapist or something. But it made sense. It was apeersupport group, not a professional support group. Marley had no idea what to say, so she settled on small talk. “Do you work nearby?”
Jaime nodded. “Not far. So, in your email you said you had a mastectomy. When was your surgery?”
“It’ll be a month tomorrow.”
“Wow, for only a month out, you look fabulous! I was still so stiff a month after surgery. What procedure did you have? I had tissue expanders. They werehell. Like bricks strapped to my chest.”
Marley was taken aback. Jaime was so open. And seemed so… healthy and happy. Marley wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t this.
“The doctor called it one step?”
“Ah. Direct to implant. Lucky. I couldn’t do that because, as my surgeon put it, I was tooample. How’s recovery been? Any complications?”
Marley shrugged. “Some.” She told Jaime about the seroma and possible infection. Jaime said something similar had happened to her, but the fluid absorbed easily into her body after a few weeks. Marley asked her about the new sharp pain on her right side.
“Oh my god, isn’t it the worst? It’s nerve regrowth. It’s a good thing—it means you’ll hopefully regain some sensation—but, man, I wish they’d told me about it. I was on the phone with my sister the first time it happened, and I screamed. She had a mastectomy a few years before me, so she could tell me what it was. Do you have sisters?”
Marley shook her head. “I’m an only child. I have a lot of cousins… One of them had a mastectomy. But we don’t really talk about it.”
“Ah. I’m sorry. I’d be lost without my sister… not just about this BRCA stuff, but in life.”
“Is she in this group?”
Jaime shook her head. “She lives across the country. Which is why it’s great to have this group. These people are like my stand-in sisters.”
“Really?” Marley would not have thought people could get so close in a medical support group.
Jaime nodded. “I know it’s weird—we meet once a month to talk about our boobs—but these ladies areamazing. You’ll love them. If you decide to join us, that is.”
“Is it just women?”
“Technically, we’re open to anyone who has an increasedrisk of breast or ovarian cancer because of a BRCA mutation or other genetic marker, and have, or once had, breasts and/or ovaries. It’s a peer support group for people who are going through the same thing, you know?”
Marley nodded. That made sense. She asked some more questions about the group, like how many people were in it, and if any of them had ever had a cancer diagnosis or were like Marley and found out about the mutation before they got cancer. Jaime said all were welcome, but most regulars had not had cancer before. She said those who’d had cancer usually preferred formal groups for people who’ve had a cancer diagnosis. Jaime described this group like friends getting together more than anything else.
“You seem to be doing great. Are you going back to work soon?” Jaime asked.
Marley exhaled. Here was another thing that was hard to talk about. “I was supposed to. But change of plans.”
