Nikhil wanted to be the date. He narrowed his eyes playfully. “Oh, you’re one of those, are you?”
“One of what?”
“A food stealer.”
She chuckled. And didn’t wince with pain. Progress.
“Was that your mother on the phone?”
Marley nodded. “She’s taking me to the hospital in a couple of days. Hopefully I’ll get the drains out.”
“That’s good news. What would you be wearing?” he asked.
“To get my drains out? I assume I’ll be topless.”
“No, at this hypothetical dinner date. At the Italian place, or the tasting menu somewhere. Not Swiss Chalet.”
She smiled again. “My green dress.”
“What’s that look like?”
“It’s… slinky. Sexy. Not bodycon but perfectly fitted. It’s completely backless.”
Nikhil had never really thought of a woman’s back as a particularly attractive body part, but that night in the King Street hotel, he’d run his fingers over the impossibly smooth skin of Marley’s back, and it was very sexy. Everything about Marley was sexy. He wanted to see her in this green dress.
“I have no idea if it will fit me after I’m healed.”
Nikhil frowned. “Why? Because you’ll have been vegging on a recliner for weeks?”
“No. I won’t be the same size as I used to be.”
Shit. Of course. She’d told him that the doctor was going to replace her natural breasts with silicone ones, but he’d never wondered if her new breasts would look the same as the oldones. She’d been living in those oversized shirts and hoodies zipped all the way up since surgery, so he hadn’t really noticed if she looked any different. Even that day he’d given her a massage, he’d seen her in her bra, but it was so huge and she was so swollen that he couldn’t really see anything. And besides, all he’d noticed was that she was in pain that day.
“Are they… Have you… I mean, are you a different size?”
Marley’s mouth was a straight line. “I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t looked at them.”
Nikhil didn’t say anything. What would it be like to have your body change like that when you didn’t want it to? A body that she’d been happy with. That others had loved, too. He reached over and put his hand on top of hers.
“I looked away at my last exam,” she said. “My doctor said everything looked good, though. I have a lot of swelling…”
He squeezed her hand. She wasn’t looking at him, but he could see that her eyes were welling with tears again.
Honestly, if Nikhil could take all this pain—physical and emotional—from her, he would. It put things into perspective… Here he was, being all woe-is-me because some fanboys didn’t think he was the right actor to play a part in a movie, and Marley was facing a problem infinitely more real.
“You don’t have to look at your body yet,” he said. “Take your time healing… mentally and physically.”
She nodded.
“Are you… scared you’ll be different?”
They were still holding hands. She wasn’t moving, though. Not running her fingers over his. Not squeezing at all. Just holding.
“Notwill bedifferent,” she said. “Iamdifferent. I mean, I won’t look the same. I have no sensation anymore there. Theyremoved my nipples. And…” She looked down. “Mine were sensitive.”
Nikhil squeezed tighter. He remembered. She’d squirmed and panted when he’d had his mouth on them. It was so unfair that she’d never feel that again.
What the hell did he know about supporting Marley through this? This was one of the hardest things she’d ever been through. She should have her mother here, or her best friend. Or hell, any friend.
