“I don’t need anyone to talk to. I have you.”
“I’m going to France.”
“You’re coming home. Until then, I’ll have Reena.”
“Yeah, and your movie star boy toy. But maybe it would be better to talk to someone who understands what you’ve been through?”
Marley didn’t say anything. She looked down at the floor. Why was hospital flooring so… dull? What color was this… white? Blue? Gray?
In less than an hour, the body that she’d had her entire life would be changed. She had no idea what was going to happen. Something could go wrong; she could come out with botched breasts or chronic pain. Or when they opened her up, they could find out that they were too late and that cancer was already there.
Talking to anyone about all of it wouldn’t change a thing. The only thing she could do was be here. Have her mastectomy. And she was doing that. “Shayne,” she said softly, looking up at him. “Do you approve of this body modification?”
He smiled, then squeezed her non-IV hand for a moment. “Completely. You’re doing the right thing, Marley.”
She looked down, willing away the tears that were forming in her eyes.
“Reena is dropping off freezer meals today,” Shayne said after a few moments of silence. “Your movie star can manage a microwave, right? Or is he toobougiefor kitchen conveniences now?”
“Nikhil was in cooking class with us in grade eleven, remember?”
Shayne laughed. “Is he going to cook for you again? I mean,since you two are reliving all your experiences from high school together.”
Marley snorted.
Shayne flipped to the next page of the magazine. “Hey, you never told me: How was reliving prom night, anyway? Was the superhero…super?”
Marley shrugged—talking about sexual encounters was normal for Marley and Shayne. But this one felt too… sacred to talk about. Even though she and Nikhil were just friends. Probably because it was her boobs’ last time.
“You two going to keep up with the prom-night reenactments while I’m gone?” Shayne asked.
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be recovering from surgery. I’ll barely be able to move and will have drains coming out of my body. I will not be having sex.”
“Okay then—after you are recovered. Are you two going to be… a thing?”
There was a hesitation in Shayne’s voice. Marley couldn’t tell if Shayne approved or disapproved of Marley and Nikhil as a couple. Not that they would ever be that.
Marley shook her head. “You’re the one who always said to stay away from actors.”
“Yeah, and it didn’t stop you before, or now. I think you might actually have feelings forthatactor.”
Marley shook her head. “It was a one-night casual thing. That’s it.”
Shayne exhaled. “Well then, I’m glad you hooked up with him one more time. I mean, it’s totallyiconicthat your last time before your mastectomy was with aliteralsuperhero. I hope he fuckingworshipedyour boobs. I hope they had the best last meal in existence.”
Marley nodded, feeling herself blush. “Yes—yes they did.”
“Mahreen Kamal?” a nurse said. Marley closed her eyes a moment. It was time.
Shayne’s hand was suddenly on hers again. “You got this.”
Marley hugged him, and he kissed her cheek. “Love you,” Shayne said in her ear. “I’ll be here the whole time.”
“Love you, too, Shayne.”
With a deep breath, Marley stood and went through the doors to the surgical unit.
After a nurse took her vitals and she had a consult with the anesthesiologist, Marley was given the choice of either walking or being wheeled into the operating room. She chose to walk, pushing her IV cart in front of her. The room was bigger and had more people and equipment in it than she had expected. It seemed chaotic. As a nurse helped her get on the table, each person in the room introduced themselves to her and told her their role. Everyone sounded friendly. Unstressed. Dr. Abernathy was the last to greet her, right after the general surgeon he would be working with.
