The lights were bright in Jana’s eyes, and her legs were getting wobbly. Jana barely sang with the others. The lyrics were hitting too close to home. She closed her eyes as a prickle stung behind them.
She was being ridiculous. This wasn’t her life imitating art. She and Anil were friendly. That’s it. She was physically attracted to him, but that didn’t mean she hadrealfeelings for him. Just chemistry.
She looked out at their table…Mom was watching. Dr. Lopez. Her aunties and uncles.
And Anil was there, watching her sing about being brokenhearted.
Could he see that she was freaking out? See the torrent of confused emotions swirling through her? The loud music. Everyone staring at her. Singing about pain, about not being able to move on after falling in love so fiercely.
Jana squeezed her fists as the brigade sang—rather badly, honestly—until Jana reached her breaking point. She slipped behind the stage through the mosquito net walls covering the lounge area the moment the song ended. Everyone was clapping when she sat on one of the chairs near the pool.
Rubbing her temples, Jana heard the next song cue up and start. It seemed, hilariously, Farzana Aunty was going to sing an ABBA song, too—“When I Kissed the Teacher.”
Jana wasn’t alone for long. Rohan soon sat in the chair next to her.
“You okay?”
Jana looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah. Needed some air. I’m not much of a singer.”
“Neither were they, if you ask me.”
Jana chuckled.
“You…seemed different today. Until…”
“Until I had a panic attack because the lyrics from a seventies pop song were hitting close to home?”
Rohan paused, eyes wide. “I just remembered that movie is about a second-chance romance. Did something happen between you and Anil?”
Jana sighed. She’d never told anyone that she was still attracted to Anil. Because why would she? Jana was a private person. She didn’t talk about things like this.
But this wasRohan. He was one of the first people she’d told about her pregnancy. He knew even before her mother or Anil. Rohan had kept her secret, helped her find a family lawyer, and had been a shoulder to cry on while she sorted out what to do.
She shook her head. “No. Nothing happened. I’m just confused. I’m not used to spending so much time with him.” She paused. “Hey, Rohan, do you happen to know if…”
Rohan shook his head. “He’s not dated anyone seriously since Imani was born, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Jana chuckled. “Maybe it would be better if he had. Want to ask your wife if she’ll find him someone?” Saying those words felt like a punch to the gut. Anilwouldmove on one day. Jana had no doubt about that. He was a great guy. He deserved it. And it would destroy Jana’s heart all over again.
“It can’t be easy dating as a single parent,” Rohan said.
There was that word again.Easy.
Jana shook her head. “I’m losing my mind. I amnotinterested indatingAnil. I’ve barely even forgiven the man! Plus, why the hell would he want to get involved with me? I’m the one who—and these are his words, by the way—‘has been torturing him for years.’”
Rohan didn’t say anything for a while. Jana knew she didn’t have to fill the silence with him. She didn’t even have to ask him to keep this conversation to himself.
“I’ll probably be single forever,” Jana said suddenly. “I’m probably too fussy to fit someone in my life. But…seeing you and Kamila so happy, I admit I’m a little jealous. Maybe I need to find me a Rohan.”
He snorted at that, shaking his head. “Nah, you need to find yourself a Kamila.” He looked at Jana. “You do deserve it, you know. Whatever the aunties and your mother say, you aren’t a fallen woman. You have as much value as anyone else. More, actually.”
“I haven’t internalized their judgments, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
He shrugged, then stood, holding out a hand for Jana. “Let’s go back inside. I’d prefer the safety of the mosquito netting. We can sit at the bar away from the others—I’ll even buy you a drink.”
Jana smiled and took his hand. “I’ll take the drink, but we can join the others. I’m ready to socialize again.” As they slipped through the netting, Jana took Rohan’s arm and leaned on him. “Thank you.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Anytime.”
