Kamila’s eyes were wide. “Holy macaroni. That’s how that job of yours found out?”
Jana nodded. “Nadia’s family actually called the donors of the project. Anil stood up for me, telling everyone who would listen that Nadia left him a long time ago, but it didn’t help much.”
Kamila shook her head, frowning. “That’shorrific. Poor Anil.”
Jana looked at Kamila, annoyed. “Yeah, but hetoldme he was divorced. If he had told me his marriage was a mess, I could have decided whether I wanted to step into that mess or not. Plus, don’t you remember how he tortured me back when he chased me to Toronto? Before I told him about the pregnancy? Teasing me and trying to make me jealous by flirting withyou? It was vile.” Jana suddenly remembered the comment he’d made earlier—that where Jana was concerned, his instincts always failed him. Seemed he had that issue five years ago, too.
Kamila was silent a moment. “Okay, yes, that was bad. He should have been straight with you. It took me a while to forgive him for that. But I feel like…”
“Like what?”
Kamila sighed, looking at Jana. “I’m not going to tell you to get over it. Be angry forever. I think you’re totally justified. What’s his rationale for wanting to suddenly be friends? You’ve seemed to be working well together as parents for a while now.”
“He said Imani is starting to think that I hate him.”
Kamila cringed. “Is that true?”
Jana exhaled. “Probably. Lord knows I’m terrible at hiding my feelings. It’s just…it’s hard for me. I’vetriednot to be mad at him.”
“I know it’s hard. Jana, you’re a bit…fussy, and I love you for it.” She frowned. “Is there a positive way to say that someone always holds a grudge?”
“And why shouldn’t I? You said I was justified.”
Kamila put her hands up. “That’s my point. Youshouldhold a grudge! I love how principled you are. You don’t let people walk all over you, and it takes work for you to trust someone after they betray you. That’s a good thing! That’s why it took so long for you and me to be friends. You’re not a doormat. That’s an amazing example for your daughter.”
Jana scowled. It didn’t sound like a good thing. Easygoing people were happier.
“One question,” Kamila said. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…Do you think you and Anil would still be together if you had agreed to marry him?”
Jana snorted. “Anil asked me the same question earlier. Of course, I have no idea—we were only together two weeks. How could we know?”
“What did you tell Anil?”
Jana sighed. “I told him no. We’re too different.”
Kamila shrugged. “There are lots of reasons why relationships fail, but that’s not a good one. Lots of couples are different. Look at me and Rohan.”
“That’s what Anil said.” Plus, there were Jana’s own parents. They’d had a happy, loving marriage, even though Mom was the social one and Dad was the introvert. He was sweet, quiet, and thoughtful. The one who sat silently at the table while everyone talked over one another. What would Dad say now about Mom’s TikTok? Jana knew what he would say.Let your mother be herself, because that’s what we love about her.
Jana took a long sip of her chai. “It’s all a moot point anyway,” she said. “Hypotheticals don’t help anyone, because he had too much baggage. Maybe the baggage wouldn’t have been such a big deal if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, but Idid.”
Kamila nodded. “True. But remember—you don’t have to forgive him or get over it enough to have arelationshipwith the man. Just enough so you can be friends. Maybe he’s done enough groveling for that?”
Jana closed her eyes. She didn’t know. The last week of Anil helping Jana when she was stressed and anxious; getting her socks, snacks, and that book; talking about development; and taking care of their daughter together—all that hadalreadychanged things between them. They’d held hands in the safari vehicle today. And they’d fought…quietly, but with more passion and emotion than they had in years.
They’d maybe almost kissed.
And there was still almost a week left of this trip.
Jana didn’t know how she was going to survive it. Or if even more things would change between her and Anil Malek while they were in Tanzania.
“I want to,” Jana said. “I want to be okay with him.” She chuckled. “I decided that was my goal for this trip after I saw him. It’s time to get over Anil Malek and the past. Or at least pretend to be over him. He’s right—Imani sees my issues.”
“How’s that goal going?”
Jana shrugged.
Kamila frowned. “Between you pretending to let loose and pretending to be over the past, you’re going to be a whole new pretend person by the time we get back to Toronto. Or a new real one.”
