“Okay. You’relikable,” she said with a snarl.
He frowned. “You don’t like me because other people like me?”
“Yes. I’m contrary that way. When all those rumors were going on about us, did you lose any jobs? Your reputation? No, because you were so damnlikablethat your sins slid off that charming smile.”
He shook his head angrily. “Ihatedwhat happened with that job of yours. I was very vocal to whoever would listen that it was complete bullshit. You didn’t deserve that.”
Jana knew he’d tried to help. She’d heard about his rants from many of her colleagues. But the damage had already been done. The sexist world meant the grumpy, antisocial woman was always more villainous than the charismatic man.
“It’s not even just the job,” she said low. “Everyone fucking loves Anil Malek. Even my oldest friends—theyhaveto have you in the wedding party. Momhasto tell everyone we were married even though I said no to you. Peoplewantto be around you. You didn’t have friends drop you because you reminded them of their own cheating partners. People don’t feel the need to challenge you to have an actual conversation.”
She narrowed her eyes. She didn’t try to read his expression—she didn’t even care what he was thinking. She wanted to let it all out. “I walked away from you years ago. I chose to raise Imani as a single parent. And everyone looks at me like I’ve made some huge mistake that made my life so hard. And they look at you like you’re a saint for doing your damn job and being a good parent to your child.” She said it quietly, with her jaw tight, even though she wanted to scream it. But Imani was sleeping.
He didn’t say anything, just stared at her with wide eyes. This is what he wanted.Communication. And it hurt as much as she thought it would.
“Go ahead—call me a cold bitch for hating you because ofsociety, instead of anything you actually did.” Jana wiped a traitorous tear that was falling down her cheek. “I do sympathize over what Nadia did to you. I really do. You didn’t deserve the way you were treated by her or her family. And maybe you don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you over the years. But I didn’t deserve to be caught in the cross fire of the implosion of your marriage. Youshouldhave told me you were still married.”
He nodded. “Yes, I should have. I’ve apologized many times. I own that.” He sighed. “It felt good to forget about her for a little bit. I got so caught up in…you. But tell me this: What if I had told you the truth? That I was technically married only because I couldn’tfindmy wife to serve her divorce papers? What difference would it have made? The marriage was just a technicality by that point.”
Jana’s teeth gritted. “I would have known what I was walking into!”
“Would you have walked in anyway?”
Jana closed her eyes. She was pretty sure he knew the answer to that question. Yes. She would have. And so would he, even if they both knew this is how they’d end up.
Their relationship had only lasted two weeks, but it was an intense, emotional two weeks full of potential for a future. She’d stepped so far out of her comfort zone, and she wouldn’t have done that if she hadn’t seen something different, something special in their connection. They were magic together. In bed, yes—that had always been good—but also…collaborating with him. Talking for hours about their visions for future projects. And going shopping and to museums and galleries, and discussing books, art, and movies over long dinners.
Jana rarely truly connected with people, and never with anyone that deeply. Maybe Anil didn’t think it was a big deal, or a long-term thing, and clearly neither of them expected they would end up with Imani and a lifelong bond as co-parents, but it was still the most intense relationship of her life. Honestly, the best. And she’d really believed he’d felt the same way.
But the lie he’d told—that he was divorced—wasn’t small. Maybe itwasjust a technicality, and maybe she didn’t have the right to know everything about the trauma his wife was putting him through then. But he had to know that in their world, in their culture, in their profession, Jana would be the one who would pay the bigger price if word got out.
If Jana hadn’t found out she was pregnant after learning about Nadia’s existence, maybe his little ploy to get Jana back in Toronto would have worked. Maybe she would have understood and forgiven him. They could have continued their relationship after his divorce.
Or maybe she would have told him she never wanted to see him again. She would have been able to walk away, and move on from him.
But shedidget pregnant. She’d had no ability to walk away.
And the baby meant it wasn’t about just the two of them anymore. Imani meant everyone knew about his cheating and saw Jana as the home-wrecker.
Anil was still staring at her, his lips in a straight line. It felt good to see something other than his normal easy smile. He said seeing her in a robe reminded him that she was human—well, for her, seeing him with his good-humored mask chipped away madehimseem human.
“I would have,” she whispered.
“Would have what?” he answered, voice equally low.
“I would have still been with you. I would have liked to know what I was getting into, and maybe I would have been cautious and we would have gone slower. But I would have been with you.”
If things had gone slower between them, if they hadn’t hopped into bed every moment they could, would they even have Imani now?
Jana sighed, looking down at her enormous plush bathrobe. There had always been something about Anil. She’d done things with him in those two weeks that she’d never even considered doing with anyone else. He had a way of looking at her that made her feel…exposed. Undressed. Which, for those unforgettable two weeks, was exactly how she’d ended up when he looked at her like that.
Jana felt naked now. Being honest with him…himchallengingher…made her feel more exposed than if she hadn’t been wearing this blanketlike robe.
What did Anil think when she opened the door wearing this? Had he realized she’d been fully naked only minutes earlier in the glass-walled shower? Had he imagined the steaming water running down her body? Had he wanted to pull on the belt of the robe and relive their nights in that London hotel? She remembered it so vividly. The shower in that hotel had been smaller, but they’d fit together in it fine. This one would be a luxury. Jana could feel heat pool deep in her core.
Was his mind in the same place as hers right now? It didn’t seem possible, but he was still staring at her. Just like he had back in London. Just like there, she wouldn’t even have to take off the robe. She could just scoot to the edge of the sofa, and he’d kneel on the floor in front of her. Jana looked down.
“Jana,” he whispered. His hand reached up, slow enough for Jana to turn away if she needed to, and he gently lifted her chin so she was looking into his eyes again. She could get lost in them easily. Deep, rich pools of the warmest brown imaginable with faint gold lines around the irises. Jana swallowed. His hand lightly trailed up and wiped a tear from her cheek that she hadn’t even realized was there.
