“They’re going to go viral with that,” Anil said. “Boomer dance-tok is…well…booming.” He started telling the others about an older man who gave out life advice on TikTok while riding a unicycle who was growing in popularity and even getting sponsorships at this point.
Jana plunged her straw into a juice box of mango nectar. “I don’t think I understand the world anymore.” Thank goodness no one had told her to be more active on social media for her “letting loose” list.
Anil laughed, nodding. “Honestly, everything changes so fast; most people can’t keep up. Imani’s world will be different from ours.” He smiled that annoying Anil smile. “But social media isn’t scary. It’s just another medium for the same social interaction we’ve always had.”
Was that a dig at Jana and her antisocial self? Jana’s first instinct was to snap at him, but she tamped that down. Then she forced the scowl off her face. She smiled pleasantly. “True.” Her eye twitched.
They finally saw their first elephant after they got back on the road after lunch. Actually, two elephants. They were standing together in the open air, just kind of…hanging out. And they weremagnificent. Almost regal in their stature, with long white tusks and massive ears. Jana was entranced. She didn’t know why, but she even felt herself tear up.
“Mommy, Mommy! Elephants!”
“They’re beautiful!” Anil said. He stood to take pictures from the open top of the vehicle. Jana stood, too, so she could look at the elephants with no window separating them. She didn’t take pictures, though. She could get the shots from Anil or Asha later. Right now, she wanted to stare at these with her naked eyes.
They were so conspicuous. But they were here. Not hiding in the forest. What would it be like to be so comfortable in your own skin? To have no urge to escape when others came close?
After another hour of driving around the game park, it was time to head back to the resort. Jana had heard that the drive out of the crater was a bit harrowing, and that turned out to be a massive understatement. The climb down in the morning had been steep, but nothing too extreme. The trip back up was a different road, though. A narrow, twisting path that zigzagged up the crater ridge with absolutely no barrier between dirt road and cliff wall. At one point, Jana swore the Land Cruiser was completely vertical.
“Only Land Cruisers can do this,” Nelson, their driver, said. “This is why you don’t see any other models down there.”
Jana would prefer that Nelson would skip talking now and focus on driving. She hadn’t been worried about physical dangers on this trip, but that was before she’d known that the Land Cruiser would be driving straight up a wall made of mud to get out of the crater.
Nelson didn’t seem nervous, though, and he did this drive all the time. Imani was between Anil and Jana and was happily watchingPeppa Pigon her iPad with headphones. Jana’s mother was next to Nelson in the front, and Jana would bet she had her eyes closed praying. Asha and Nicole were in the seats in front of Jana and had their eyes glued out the window, seeming to love the thrill ride.
Jana glanced at Anil on the other side of Imani. All the color had drained from his face. He was clutching the side of Imani’s booster seat with knuckles as white as that large elephant’s tusks from the day before.
“You okay?” Jana asked him softly.
His head turned sharply to her, then he tried to chuckle. It came out like a weak grunt. “Yeah. This is steep.”
She nodded. “It is. Reminds me of a drive through a deadly pass in the mountains of Pakistan,” Jana said. “I almost kissed the driver when it was done for not killing us all.”
His head tilted, looking at Jana. “You’re quite a badass, you know that?”
Jana snorted, then cringed when they hit a bump.
“You know,” he said quietly a few seconds later, “I always worry about you when you go off on those trips.”
He didn’t specify what he was afraid would happen, but he didn’t have to. Treacherous truck drives were only one of the hazards Jana dealt with in her work. Political unrest, disease, terrorism…Jana had seen everything. Anil worked in nonprofits, too, but he hadn’t been to nearly as many potentially dangerous places as she had.
He glanced at Imani, who was oblivious to them all. Jana knew what Anil was thinking. That every risk either of them took could have a profound, lifelong effect on the lives of the three of them. This was why Jana insisted on knowing where he was at all times. To know he was safe. And so he would know she was safe. They passed over another large bump, and Anil’s eyes closed briefly as his fingers tightened over the fabric of Imani’s seat.
Jana didn’t really think about it—she reached out and put her open palm on Imani’s lap. Imani didn’t notice—Peppa Pigwas much too interesting. But Anil did. He put his hand in Jana’s, and she squeezed it.
His trembles calmed as he squeezed back. She didn’t know why she’d done it—maybe because he’d already helped her on this trip. It was Anil who had given her that look of understanding during the marriage ceremony when everyone was looking at her and Imani. And it was Anil who’d rescued her after she tripped on elephant dung. And finally, it was Anil who was helping her now—pretending their relationship was so much more than it ever was.
No matter how detached, bitter, or rude Jana was to Anil, she couldn’t avoid the truth—her life was foreverconnected to this man’s. And right now, he needed support, so she gave it.
Once they reached the top of the crater and were on safe ground, Anil took his hand away. Jana rubbed hers, trying to forget the warmth and solidness of his fingers. The rest of the drive back to their resort was uneventful and mostly quiet. Once there, everyone went to the hotel lounge, but Jana decided she was entitled to a break from being social. She took Imani for a bath instead. Imani fell asleep right afterward, so Jana herself was able to luxuriate in the enormous shower, washing off all the dust from the drive. She was brushing her hair when there was a knock at the door. She assumed it was her mother forgetting her room card.
But it wasn’t. It was Anil. His face was back to his normal expression—no sign of the fear in his eyes earlier. Just easy good humor.
Jana tried to keep her expression blank. “Yes?”
His eyes traveled down the plush hotel bathrobe that reached Jana’s ankles to her bare feet. She wasn’t concerned about him seeing her like this—this monstrosity covered her considerably more than the navy shorts and tank she’d been wearing for the game drive.
Still, she wrapped her arms around herself. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
He chuckled, running his hand over his chin. It wasn’t as smooth as she was used to seeing it. Clearly, he was shaving less on holiday. “Just weird seeing you with wet hair and a bathrobe. I missed seeing you like this.”
