He chuckled. “That explains so much about the last couple of days.”
Jana looked out the window. Outside, she could see the wedding celebration continuing, like she wasn’t having a crisis with her ex in the middle of Serengeti National Park. “Mom is having an aunty one-upping crisis or something. But it’s not right. I’ll tell them all the truth.”
“Your mother will be devastated.”
“I can’t keep lying to Dr. Lopez. I want him to hire me.”
He shrugged. “It’s not a lie that matters, though. I’m happy to go along with it if anyone asks. Then when you get back to the city, you can tell him that it’s a technicality—we were together but not married. He’s not going to pry, because it’s none of his business. And I’ll also do what I can to get you the job. Talk you up. Tell him how impressive you are. This will be good for you.”
“Why would you do that for me? Lie for me?”
“It wouldn’t be lying. You are impressive.”
Jana scowled.
He stared at her before speaking. “You won’t ever give me a chance to be anything but the bad guy in your life. If you’d asked me for help from the beginning, I would have said yes. And I think you knew that. Give me a chance, Jana. If everything goes well, and we can get along again, then maybe…”
She knew he’d want something in return. Forgiveness, probably. Or maybe he wanted her to take that board vacancy at Aim High. “What?”
“Disney,” he said.
Fuck. Not that again. Jana opened her eyes wide. “That’s all? You’ll help me get this job just for Disney?”
He nodded. “I just want to come to Disney with you. But only if we’re getting along.”
Jana bit her lip. Was she willing to give him that? Not wanting him to come to Disney wasn’t Jana being petty, or revenge, or anything like that. It was self-care. Being in this small vehicle with him now, or in her hotel watching him wash Imani’s hands, or sitting next to him on a crowded plane had all been so hard. She couldn’t think straight with all the memories coming back. With all the what-ifs. But at least here there were others around. Jana couldn’t travel for two weeks alone with just him and Imani. His betrayal still hurt too much. She could finally take a trip with Imani, and this would taint it.
“Come on, Jana,” he said. “I don’t want to break your mother’s heart, either. She’s so great for Imani.”
That’s what would happen if Jana revealed to everyone that Mom lied. Mom’s heart would be broken. Nicole had said Mom should accept Jana as she was because Jana was the only daughter she had.
But Jana saw it differently. Jana was the only daughter Mom had, so Jana shouldn’t be a disappointment to her.
“Fine. It’s a deal. We’llpretendwe’re friendly ex-spouses, and you’ll pretend I’m pleasant to be around, and I’ll think seriously about Disney.”
He smiled. “I guess we were once married, then.” He reached for the door of the Land Cruiser. “And youarepleasant to be around…sometimes. But I’d better get out of here, because people will definitely wonder what I’m doing alone with my ex-wife for so long.”
He mock saluted, then flashed that knee-weakening Anil Malek smile before leaving the Land Cruiser.
Jana put her head back on her seat and sighed. What had she gotten herself into? By the end of this trip, she was sure that Anil would hate her as much as he seemed to think she hated him.
Or worse…maybe Jana would hate him less.
Chapter 13
Bright and early the next day (well, not too early—after all, there had been a wedding the day before), everyone gathered in the lobby of the resort with their luggage, waiting for the Land Cruisers to pick them up for the safari trip. There was a nervous energy in the air, as this was the first ever safari for many of them.
Jana wasn’t nervous—at least not about the safari itself. In Jana’s mind, the danger of this trip wasn’t malaria, lions, or even a sunburn. It was the deal she’d made with Anil the day before. That they were going to pose as amicable co-parents and exes for the trip. It was one thing for her alone to pretend she was over him and the past, but somehow it was even more monumental for him to be in on it. Pretending together they were once in love. Oncemarried. And pretending they were still close friends. Jana honestly had no idea how she was going to get through it. And all this on top of her pretending she was enjoying this trip. Pretending to be social. Vibrant.
But she’d gone this far—she had to keep going now.
Eventually, five Land Cruisers pulled up in front of the Serengeti resort, and they all piled in for their weeklong safari, which would visit three more parks and resorts. Although Elsie had planned the trip, she didn’t have as tight a rein on them anymore, so there were no assigned vehicles. Jana managed to get in a vehicle without Dr. Lopez or Anil. She knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid them all week, but she welcomed the break from the pretending for now.
Their first game park was the Ngorongoro Conservation Area, the site of the Ngorongoro Crater. The drive was long, bumpy, and uneventful, but being in the safari vehicle brought strong memories of that trip with her father years ago. Jana missed him. When he was alive, she had a constant reminder that being different—not being fluent in that secret code that everyone else seemed to have the key for—didn’t mean she was an outsider. She could still be connected to people, like her father had been.
After everything that had happened to Jana in the last five years in both her personal and professional life, it was no wonder that deep inside, all she wanted was to chase that feeling of contentment that had always surrounded her father. But maybe it wasn’t possible. What was it Nicole had said—that new people in her life made herelementchange? Jana wasn’t the same person she was before her father passed, or before she had Imani—and maybe there was no way to get that back.
She was getting morose, which wasn’t helping anyone. Instead of looking out the window for the rest of the trip, Jana opened her planner and stared at her “letting loose” list. Only one item had been checked off—dancing at the wedding. And unexpectedly, she’d loved that. Jana smiled. Maybe this strategy could work—maybe letting loose was the way to feel connected to the world again. She could do this.
