“Why would you think I’d want a long engagement?” she asked. “Andtorturous? Really?”
He smiled widely, and it was so charming and amiable and so…attractive.It took everything in Jana not to get up and walk away from him. “Are you kidding me?” he said. “I know you, Jana Suleiman. You’re a little fussy, very hard to please, and most of all, you’reuncompromising. You can’t do anything if not perfectly. Your engagement would be long because you’d want the wedding just right. And it would be torturous for the person who was waiting for you.”
Jana snorted, shaking her head. “Have you always been this cocky? You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do. Remembering that I like peanuts isn’tknowingme.”
Something flashed over his face that Jana couldn’t decipher. He said he knew everything about her, and sometimes she felt like she knew everything about him. She knew where he was most of the time. She knew his homemade macaroni and cheese was creamier than hers and that he only ate fruit at home in smoothie form. She knew when he read books to Imani, he made silly voices and that he frequented garage sales when Imani wasn’t with him to find books and toys for her. But all this information about him was filtered through a doting four-year-old.
She didn’treallyknow him anymore. She had no idea what he was thinking or feeling inside. She thought she had once, but she’d been wrong.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think you’re right. Maybe I don’t know you. I didn’t know you could dance like that. Let’s start this conversation over. I want to make a request about Imani,” he said. “I was going to wait until we were back home, but now is as good a time as any.”
This was about whatever he’d been talking about at breakfast a few days ago. She braced herself. Did he want to take Imani to D.C. for a few months while he launched that start-up? Or maybe…was it possible that Anil was seeing someone, and he wanted to tell Jana before introducing the person to Imani? Her hands fisted.
“Okay, then. What exactly do you want?” she asked.
He looked straight at her. “Disney World.”
Jana blinked. With the Disney song still playing, she wondered if she’d misheard him. “Did you say Disney?”
He nodded.
“You want to take her to Disney before me? You know I’m planning to next year.”
He shook his head. “No. I wantusto take her. I want to come when you go.”
Jana’s eyes widened. “What? Anil, that’s ridiculous! We don’t go on family vacations together!”
“It’s not ridiculous. Look at us—we areliterallyon a family vacation right now. I want to be there when Imani sees Mickey, Minnie, and Darth Vader for the first time, just like your parents took you, and my parents took me.”
“Disney didn’t own Star Wars when we were kids!”
He ignored that very good point. “I want to be there to help you with her. Disney is a lot without another parent.”
“There is nothing wrong with single parenting.”
“Of course there isn’t. But you know she can be challenging when she’s overstimulated. And she’ll be happier with us both there. You’re an excellent mother, and you’d do fine, but this will make it easier for you.”
Jana made a face then. Why was he complimenting her so much? Hehadto know she wouldn’t appreciate it. And why was everyone trying to make thingseasierfor her?
“I get it,” he said softly. “I know I haven’t earned your trust back yet. But Imani isn’t a baby anymore. Shenoticesthat we don’t get along. That we never talk. I don’t want her remembering me as the absent father. The one her mother hates.”
Jana gritted her teeth. “I have nevereverbad-mouthed you to her.Never.” They’d agreed on that as part of their deal, but also, she wouldn’t do that to her daughter.
He sighed, fidgeting with Asha’s gazelle at her place setting. “Iknowyou haven’t bad-mouthed me. I know.” He looked up at her. “Do you have any idea how your utter perfection makes everything so much harder for me?”
Jana scoffed. So, he’d find it easier if shewerea bad mother?
When Jana told Anil she was pregnant, he immediately insisted that he would be in the baby’s life. Jana assumed that meant child support and some visits every couple of weeks. She’d thought Anil would treat being a dad the same way he treated everything: with charm, good humor—and no commitment. But that’s not what happened. He’d been there for Imani. He bought a place near Jana’s, and insisted on 50 percent custody. He’d dealt with midnight feedings alone, exploding diapers, vomit, tears, doctor’s appointments, and everything else. He’d picked Imani up from daycare, taken her to playdates, and figured out kids’ birthday party gifting etiquette. He even braided Imani’s hair better than Jana had ever been able to do. Anil was the fun dad, but he was also the firm dad. The affectionate dad. The good dad. Imani was so lucky to have him.
Maybe this would be easier for Jana ifheweren’t such a perfect father, too.
But just being a good father wasn’t enough for Jana to forgive the man for betraying her five years ago. He was Imani’s father—he wassupposedto be dedicated to his child. And being there for Imani wasn’t the same thing as making it up to Jana.
But he’d tried to do that, too. He’d apologized, of course. He’d given her that job at Aim High when she’d needed it. He’d referred her to other jobs, too. He’d defended her and, most importantly, given her space and not insisted they get along.
Until now.
Pretending to move on was hard enough, but actually moving on was a whole different story. There was no way she could agree to a trip to Disney with this man. She didn’t want to bepretendingto be enjoying it. She wanted to make sweet memories with her daughter.
