“Fine, we’ll have an idyllic holiday together. We’ll pretend we’re a happy family.”
Anil sighed. “Not pretending. Wearea family, Jana.”
Jana raised a brow.
“Seriously. We are. You and Imani are a family. Me and Imani are a family. Which makes all of us a family. If you ever stop hating me, we could be ahappyfamily.”
“You’re being arrogant,” she said.
A waitress came by the table, and Anil’s expression instantly changed from glaring at Jana to cheerful. He chatted pleasantly about the weather and the breakfast spread with their server. He was always so charming.Happy family.It was impossible.
He stirred some cream into his coffee after the server left, his expression blank again. “I’m here. Maybe it wasn’t right to come without letting you know. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t making eye contact, just looking at his mug as he added sugar, too. “I’ve said that to you a lot over the years. I’ve tried to make things better between us. I don’t know what else I can do.”
“Whydidyou come on this trip?”
“I told you—I came for Rohan and Kamila, and forImani. I wanted to be here for her first trip to East Africa. But also…”He finally looked up at Jana. He seemed…sad. Anil had extremely expressive eyes, but the expression in them was usually the same. Good humor. Cheerfulness. Often a bit of mischief. When she first met him, she assumed that was how he was always feeling. Later she’d learned that he had the ability to put on that face even when he didn’t feel it. A talent she didn’t have.
Shehadseen other expressions in those eyes. She’d seen this very sad, resigned look before—the day she refused his marriage proposal.
She bit her lip. “Also what?”
He took a mandazi from his plate and dipped it in his coffee. “Jana, for almost five years I’ve done what’s best for Imani, but also foryou. I know I messed up back then. I’ve apologized and I’ve tried to make it better. I referred you for jobs, I defend you to anyone who says any shit about you. And I’ve kept my distance from you to keep you comfortable. But I can’t do that forever.”
Did he expect a cookie? He’d been a complete and utter ass to her five years ago when he hadn’t told her the true nature of his marriage before hopping into bed with her. She’d been incredibly hurt and betrayed, and she could not trust him. But she’d worked with him anyway. She’d never been petty. She’d never bad-mouthed him to Imani or to anyone else.
Jana’s whole body tensed. “You won’t keep your distance anymore?”
He took a deep breath and looked straight at her. His eyes were swirling with determination. “It’s time for a change. I willalwaysput Imani first. But this”—he indicated between them—“this can’t work forever. As Imani gets older, we can’t be the best parents possible without working together. Communicating better. I’m not saying I want to change our custody agreement, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could work together because we respect each other instead of because the piece of paper the lawyers drew up tells us to?”
Jana blinked. It sounded like Anil wanted the same thing she did—to get over the past so they could co-exist more easily. But for some reason, having a common goal didn’t make this any easier.
“I’ve gone along with everything you wanted,” he continued. “I think it’s time you gave me somethingIwant.”
Jana’s teeth clenched. “What do you want? More custody?”
Did he want to take Imani away? Did he want primary custody so he could move to D.C. as he got his new nonprofit off the ground? That couldn’t happen. Jana wouldn’t let him.
Anil recoiled at her accusation, though. “No.Of course not. I said I didn’t want to change the custody agreement. You’re an amazing mother—I wouldneverdo anything to take that from Imani. I just…”He sighed. “There is something I want. Maybe I need to grovel more first…but I was hoping that—”
“Good morning, sunshines!” Nicole said, walking toward them. Shelina was close behind. “Jana, I’m to see if you are available for an impromptu Bridal Brigade meeting.” Nicole smiled widely at them, which made Jana wonder if Asha had told her to rescue Jana from Anil. But Jana didn’t want the rescue. She wanted to know what Anil was about to say.
“Oh,” Jana said. “Sure. Just give me—”
Anil stood. “I’m done, anyway. I need to catch up on my email. You look lovely as always, Nicole. And Shelina, I had a rousing conversation with your sons yesterday. You’re raising some lively boys! We’ll talk later, okay, Jana?”
Jana nodded, her fists in a tight ball on her lap.
Once Anil was out of the dining room, Shelina sighed. “He gets hotter every year. You ever see that video of Stanley Tucci making cocktails for his wife? That’s Anil’s vibe. He’s like…old-fashioned handsome. Such a DILF. Ilovea dad bod.”
That was actually a common sentiment—Jana had overheard some playgroup moms calling Anil a DILF recently. “Can you not?” Jana asked. “I really don’t want to hear about Anil’sbodright now. What’s this meeting about?”
Nicole indicated the banquet hall next door. “Asha said, and I quote, ‘Jana looks like she’d rather pop a pus bubble on her own ass than eat a meal alone with that man, and we’ve left her long enough.’”
Jana rolled her eyes. “I was fine. I didn’t need a rescue.”
“That’s what I said. If you wanted to walk away, you would have. Anyway, we do need help reasoning with your daughter. She’s picking animals for each place setting based on what the person looks like.”
“She’s giving Rohan’s Nilufer Aunty a hippo because she has big teeth,” Shelina added. “Somehow I don’t think the aunty would appreciate that comparison.”
