“That was Andre. He’s amazing. Why’d you take a picture of Daniel?”
“He was standing there for a while in that pose that looked exactly like a Dark Mage in game. Even holding a staff. I thought it was funny, so I took a pic, thinking I could make it a meme or something. Like I’d found a real-life Dark Mage.”
“Okay, then why’d you sendmethe picture?”
“You asked me what I thought LostAxis looked like IRL, and this is what I thought he would look like.”
“Come on, Devin. You had to know I’d assume the picture was of you. You didn’t even correct me.”
He shrugged again. “I kind of didn’t mind you thinking I was him. I watched the guy that day ... he wascool. He smiled so much, and he talked to people so easily. It was like he didn’t have any problems in the world. I’m not even making sense. I’d gotten into a huge fight with my parents about the Math Olympics the night before, and I wished my life was as effortless as that guy’s.”
If Devin actually knew what Daniel’s life had been like, then he wouldn’t be saying he wished his life was like that.
“But Daniel lives in Scarborough! What were you planning to do if I ever ran into the guy?”
He nodded. “I know. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Clearly, you and your parents are right—Iamsmarter than you. Also, why were you—as LostAxis—always spewing shit about squirrels and moose?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Animals are neat. I said one fact once, and you seemed to find it funny, so I kept with it.”
I shook my head. This was unreal. He’d created a whole new person as if he were creating a video game character.
“And anyway,” he said, “I didn’t think you’d go looking for the guy in the picture.”
Teeth gritted, I shook my head. “I didn’t golookingfor him. Honestly, finding Daniel was random. Were you GamesLost, too? Commenting on my Insta?”
He nodded. “Yeah. It really messed with me to see you all over that guy all the time. I just ... I had to do something. But I know I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“You were jealous of Daniel—when you knew you were the one who’d sent me the picture of him in the first place. How did you know about the fairy snipers shooting squirrels? You’re not even in game dev. Did all your friends know you were GamesLost?”
He shook his head. “No, no one knew it was me. But Jayden and Omar are my best friends. They showed me what they were working on for your game. I thought their ideas were dumb, by the way. Why would there be snipers in a forest-fairy game?”
I blinked, shaking my head. “I don’t even know what to say, Devin. You broke up with me ... You had no right to be jealous that I was with someone else.”
He nodded. “I thought you were trolling me by showing up everywhere with him. I thought maybe you knew I was LostAxis. I gave you so many opportunities to come clean that you were messing with me, but you never said anything.”
“I had no clue it was you! You should have been the one to come clean to me!”
He said nothing. I kept silently scrolling through the stats and quest logs of LostAxis. The chat logs with me were so long. “You manipulated me. You lied to me,” I said.
“But you lied, too, didn’t you?” he said. “You pretended to be dating him. You don’t have to do that anymore.”
I chuckled. “You’re right. At first my relationship with Daniel wasn’t real. We were just friends. But it’s very much real now. You were also right when you fixated on him at the shelter—heiscool. And honest. And so supportive of me. Daniel wouldneverdo something like this to me. He’s twice the person you are.”
I stood. I didn’t want to be in front of him anymore. Hopefully, Tahira would be back by now. “I’m leaving. For your sake, and mine, Iwould rather you didn’t tell anyone about this. I really don’t want people to keep talking about me and you. And never speak to me again.”
He nodded, without looking at me. “Okay,” he said. “Samaya. Again. I’m sorry.”
I put my shoes on and left without another word.
I was so completely done with Devin Kapadia. Forever.
28
Home-Baked Cookies Are No Consolation
For probably the first time in my academic career, I skipped a day of school on Tuesday. Well, it wasn’t exactly the first time—I mean, I didn’t go to school the day after breaking down at school last June after Devin dumped me. I’d been sad, and confused, and completely shocked.
