“I’mso,sosorry, Daniel,” I said, sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter. “The account has been deleted. The post wasn’t up for very long—maybe an hour. And the person behind the account will probably be suspended from school. There was a huge backlash against Whispers.” I told him about Cass’s comment and everyone boycotting the account. I didn’t tell him it was Kavita the whole time. Or that my so-called best friend’s boyfriend had been sending tips to Whispers for weeks.
Daniel didn’t say anything for a while. I felt terrible. This whole fake-dating arrangement had been a mistake. Daniel was pure, generous, kind, and so much fun, and we’dusedhim. First, LostAxis used his picture, and thenIused him in a much worse way.
“Daniel, I’m sorry. If you never want to see me again, I understand. I shouldn’t have asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend. I was using you.”
“No, Samaya,” he said immediately. “Did you forget that we had a mutually beneficial deal? I am passing calculus, which is a miracle. We weren’t using each other; we were helping each other.”
“Yeah, but you’re doing much more for me than I am doing for you. You took me on those dates, plus the selfies, and theDragon Arenaleveling, even though that ended up being pretty much unnecessary. And now this. If I’d known about your family’s issues, I totally wouldn’t have asked you—”
“Hold up. You said that me living in a shelter didn’t matter to you. Don’t coddle me as some poor unfortunate that needs special care now that you know.”
“I’m not.” I wasn’t. Was I?
“Then the fact that my mom had to stay in the shelter for a while should not have made a difference to whether you made this deal with me or not. You were notexploitingme. And the post isn’t even true. It says Ilivein the shelter—well, I don’t. And it says we’refakedating, which ... that’s not what we discussed on Friday. Or did I imagine that kiss?”
His voice lowered to that rumble that made my insides melt. Daniel Ramos was cheerful, and optimistic, and incredibly sexy, too.
And he was right. The fact that his family once stayed in a shelter didn’t have anything to do with our arrangement. I was notexploitinghim. We were friends helping each other. I sighed. “I didn’t want to bring all this into your life.”
“You’re worth it,” he said.
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure I believed that. “But, Daniel, they doxed you. You’re a private person ... why aren’t you madder at me?”
He shrugged. I wished I could see him in person—instead of over this video call. “I can’t say that I’m happy about it. But you said it’s been taken down, and that most people didn’t approve of the post. It will probably blow over.”
“But what if people you know saw it?”
“I probably shouldn’t be hiding this anyway. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
I exhaled, exasperated. “Daniel, do you have to be so perfect all the time?”
He laughed at that. “Seriously, Samaya. I’m okay. I don’t even go to the school—it doesn’t bother me that much that people are gossiping about me there.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me. Idogo to that school. Mom told me to stay out of drama ... well, this is drama. It better not screw up my teacher references for scholarships.”
He frowned. “I don’t get why it will do that.”
I shrugged. “It shouldn’t. But if I lose respect in game dev, then MissZhao might not give me a reference for awards or scholarships. Hell, if any teachers believe this stuff, they might not respect me anymore.”
“Can you afford university without those scholarships?”
“Well, yeah. My parents have saved. But—”
“Samaya, don’t be shocked that I don’t have a ton of sympathy for you whining about money you don’t even need.”
That shut me up.Fuck.He was right. I was so blind to my own privilege. But it was hard to shift all my focus like that.
“Look, I get it,” Daniel continued. “You’ve been in the middle of that competitive academic worldforever. Igetthe pressure. I know a lot of it comes from your parents.” He snorted. “I’ve recently discovered what that’s like. But I think you’ve wrapped up your self-worth in this stuff too much. You can achieve your goals without losing yourself, you know?”
I chuckled. “You’re being a wise old boomer again.”
“Seriously, Samaya. You’re agoodperson ... but that’s not because everyone at your school likes you, or because you’re the head of all your school clubs or because of your grades. You’re good because ... you’re still coming to the shelter even though you don’t have to anymore. And you’re always patient when you’re teaching me calculus or reviving my idiot Dark Mage. You’re a good person because you brought Yasmin a book about forest fairies that you knew she’d love. Because you came tomy hockey game to support Cass, even though sports is like a hellscape to you.”
“I don’t really mind hockey anymore.”
He chuckled. “The people who actually care about you don’t care about what everyone else thinks about you.”
He was right. But it was so hard to let go of what I’d thought was important for so long. I exhaled. “Daniel ... I am so glad that I met you.”
