I frowned. “Well, yeah. We’re friends. We spend hours together every week baking. And doing calculus.”
“That’s not what we mean, and you know it,” Aimee said. “C’mon, Samaya. Just now, you were so wrapped up in the idea that others were looking at his butt that you completely missed the fact that Hana andDevin are having trouble in paradise. Is it because you want to keep his butt to yourself?”
I looked at my friends, blinking. I’d always loved that these two could sometimes know what I was thinking even before I thought it myself. But it apparently was possible to have friends who knew you too well.
Because it was true. I had kind of, maybe a little bit, developed feelings for Daniel, even though I’d been trying hard to deny them. It was inevitable. He was a lot of fun. He was kind. And he was handsome. Like, almost excessively handsome.
And for those reasons, he was so out of my league he may as well live on Pluto or something.
“Samaya. Be real,” Cass said. “I saw the way you two were sitting during the movie. What’s really going on between you two?”
I was most definitely not ready to admit this to anyone. Even my closest friends. I’d been planning to ignore the crush until it went away.
But then again, these were my friends. I should be honest with them.
“Fine. Yes,” I said quietly, so no one else in the library could possibly overhear. “Ilikehim. But I’m not an idiot. I’m not planning on acting on it.”
Aimee stared at me for several seconds before speaking. “Okay, two things. First, hallelujah you’re not interested in that whiny man-child Devin anymore. Now that you’re over him, I can call him that to your face. And two, why would you not act on your feelings for Daniel? You two looked so good together on Friday! Seriously. You saw the Whispers post.”
“Yeah. We look good together because we werepretending. That was fake, remember?”
Cass gave me an incredulous look. “How was it fake if you admitted that you’re into him?”
“Don’t worry about my feelings. I’ll tamp them down.”
“What abouthisfeelings?”
I fidgeted with the side of my phone. “Daniel doesnothave feelings for me. He’s good at pretending, but also he’s just ... like that. He’s excessively nice and friendly toeveryone. Not just to people he’s into. You should have seen him with the old people at the market. He thinks of this as a job, that’s it.”
Cass blinked at me a few seconds, then shook their head. “I disagree. He’s into you.”
“One way to find out,” Aimee said, grinning. “Ask him. Tell him you’d be willing to take this fake thing real and see what he says. I agree with Cass. I think he’d be into it.”
“No,” I said.
“Why not?” Aimee said.
I waved my hands around in frustration. “Because we have parameters! And anyway, even if he was into me, which he’s not, we would never work together as a couple. I mean, talk about oil and water. After this semester, when I’m done at the shelter, and he won’t be in calculus, then what? What would we even talk about? Not to mention my parents worshipped Devin. He’s the physics club president! Daniel is a hockey player who wants to go to culinary school. Which is fine, but ... we’re from different worlds.”
“That’s absurd,” Aimee said. “That’s no reason why you cannot be together.”
Aimee said some other things about me giving it a shot, but I wasn’t listening. I was watching Cass close their computer, a look of disgust on their face.
“What is it, Cass?” I asked.
Cass looked at me. I’d been friends with Cass a long time, and I thought I’d seen every expression they were capable of making. But I’d never seen this one. “I always knew you were a bit of an elitist, Samaya, and I get why. I have an Asian parent, too—I know the pressure they put on you to always be the best at everything. But do you even hearyourself? For months your only concern has been Samaya. Samaya’s reputation at school. Samaya winning this breakup. And Samaya’s happiness. You’re giving up a chance with someone who you admit is one of the nicest people out there, because it messes with your brilliant reputation. Because Samaya Janmohammad, math genius, could not even think of lowering herself to date a mere hockey player. One who could actually make you happy.”
They said all this while packing their computer in their bag, and all I could do was sit there and listen. Even Aimee stared at Cass, speechless.
“Cass,” I said. “That’s—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Samaya. I’m leaving. You really need to figure your shit out so you aren’t so needy with your friends.”
And with that Cass took their bag and their computer and left the library.
I sat there with Aimee, blinking, not sure what just happened, when Aimee suddenly gasped. “Check the comments on your Earl’s Whispers post, Samaya,” she said.
GamesLost was back. They’d commented on the picture of me and Daniel.
