“How do you know I spoke to Rohan?”
“Jana,you told us. When you left the game in a huff, you said you left your purse in his condo. Plus, he mentioned it.”
“He told you why I went to see him? I can’t believe this. I’ll never understand how you manage to get everyone wrapped around your—”
“No, he didn’t tell me what you talked about. Rohan wouldn’t betray your confidence. All he said was that you two talked.”
Jana pulled up in front of Kamila’s door. “Look, I’m going to say one thing—don’t believe everything that man says.”
“Rohan wouldn’t lie to me.” Scold her, yell at her, call her selfish, yes. But not lie.
“Not Rohan.Anil. He can’t be trusted. Let’s say he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
“Sounds like he knows the real reason you left Tajikistan and you’re afraid of it becoming known.”
Jana looked at Kamila, blinking, then turned and looked straight in front of her. “Goodbye, Kamila. Let me know if your father needs anything from me.”
Chapter 16
Kamila’s limbs felt heavy as she climbed the stairs to her front door. She finally checked the time. Past two a.m. The moon was bright in the sky—although only a sliver of a crescent illuminating the mist surrounding it. It seemed fitting somehow—a new moon.
In her religion, new-moon nights were considered especially holy. She wasn’t really much of a praying person, or really religious at all, but after a night like tonight, she needed all the help the universe was willing to give her. So, she said a prayer that Dad would be a little better tomorrow. And a little better the day after that. She said a second prayer, that she would be strong enough to handle whatever came after that.
She knew her intense mental and physical exhaustion was amplifying her emotions. She’d probably have more hope and optimism about this situation tomorrow. But right now, she felt monumentally sad. Sad her father had suffered, and she hadn’t been there with him. Sad he had to sleep alone in a hospital room. And sad she had to be alone in her house tonight. Not even her dog was here to greet her. She was even sad about Jana, that their mutual support of each other hadn’t lasted. And she was sad that even after everything she had done to keep him, she’d still lost Rohan.
But this is what she signed up for, right? She deserved this loneliness. Just like Rohan said. She’d rested her own happiness on her ability to control others, and when they didn’t do what she wanted, she was left with nothing.
Kamila needed to stop this line of thinking. She had no desire to let existential dread take hold now. She had to stay strong for Dad. He was in a hospital bed right now, probably in the early stages of a major depressive episode, and Kamila was only thinking about her own loneliness. Rohan was right—shewasselfish.
As she walked into her house, she noticed the kitchen light was on. Strange. She never forgot to turn off the lights. When she looked at the stairs, she saw a coat hanging off the banister. A familiar charcoal overcoat.
Rohan’s. She looked back at the shoe mat near the door, and sure enough, the leather loafers he’d been wearing at his party were there. She went into the kitchen to look out the window. Her own car was there—not Rohan’s. He’d brought her car home. Then stayed?
Kamila took the stairs up two at a time and went straight to the guest room. It was, of course, dark, but with the light from the hallway, she could clearly make out his sleeping form. Remarkable. After everything she had said and everything he had said, he was here. Why?
He didn’t stir as she watched him sleep. It was slightly voyeuristic to watch the normally solid and starched Rohan softened by sleep, but if he was going to let himself into her house to sleep like some sort of corporate executive Goldilocks, then she figured she was allowed to look. But not for too long—that was creepy. She snuck out and changed into flannel pants and a T-shirt, brushed her teeth, and washed her face.
And then returned to the guest room instead of her own room. He was like a siren calling to her—she was drawn almost against her will. Certainly against her better judgment. She sat on the edge of the bed.
She didn’t know why he was here, but she did know it was forher. Not for Dad—he wasn’t even home. Not for obligation, either. He was here only because he cared about Kamila.
She was the first and last person to ever fall asleep on him. While she knew others, presumably his ex-wife, had shared his warmth while sleeping between those two times, as of this moment, their connection was a circle. He was a constant in her life, as she was in his.
She’d told him off fiercely earlier. He had said even worse things to her. But he always came back. She’d do something silly—burn his breakfast or shamelessly flirt with him—and he’d scold her or tease her, and she’d be upset, and maybe they would argue. And then they’d be right back again. They’d known each other forever, but this cycle had only intensified in the last year.
He stirred. She watched as he shifted, stretched, and finally opened his eyes. He blinked a few times. “Kam.” He sat up. “Kam, you’re here. I was waiting for you. I fell asleep.”
“I see that.”
He looked around, clearly confused after his abrupt wake-up. He scratched his chin and frowned. “What time is it?”
“Two thirty.”
“Your father—how is he?”
“Resting. He was pretty dopey on meds. Test results will be ready tomorrow. He should be able to come home then.”
“How is hereally?”
