“Of course it’s not,” said Mom. “But it’s how the game is played.”
I sighed. “Maybe. But after talking to Nilusha today, I’m wondering how necessary it is to be already playing that game. Or if it’s necessary at all. People do make it in fashion without thousands of followers first. I wassoexcited for the Bloom with my friends this weekend. Dropping out upset people I care about. And what did I do it for? To be seen. Not for what I actually want—to design.” My voice cracked. “I disappointed people I care about because I thought I needed to be seen, but my friends, the people who matter right now, already saw me.”
Mom reached out and took my hand. “Tahira. I know it’s hard, but you’ll have more time with your friends later. Everyone has to make sacrifices—”
Dad put his hand out, stopping Mom. “Whatdoyou want, Tahira? From deep within?” He touched his fingers to his heart.
I shrugged. “I want to maybe explore different schools.”
Samaya made an explosion sound, and I glared at her this time.
“Which schools?” Dad asked.
I didn’t even look at Mom. “Nilusha went to Ryerson. There’s also OCAD in Toronto. LaSalle College in Montreal is excellent, too.”
“This isn’t because of your new boyfriend, is it?” Mom asked.
I frowned. “No. We’re not really...I’m pretty sure we’re done. But itisbecause my family is here. I’d like to be closer to home. And if I stay, maybe I can work with Nilusha while I’m in school.” I looked at my sister. “I can spend more time with Samaya, too. Honestly, I shouldn’t have left the Bloom. I’d made a commitment to my friends, and I don’t even know where my career will be in the future. A bunch of urban style influencers might not matter to me.”
They were both quiet for a bit.
Mom shook her head. “Tahira, you can’t do this halfway. No success comes without hard work. I thought this was what you wanted.”
“Being a designeriswhat I want. Honestly. I’m not doing this for the platform, or for followers, or fame. And I have every intention of working very hard at the part that matters. Design. The actual art. The flow. Losing myself in a project. Seeing something in my head and watching it become a real thing. Other people expressing themselves using my clothes. I still want that.”
My parents were both quiet for a while.
Those were all the same reasons why I’d fallen in love with floral design this summer, too.
“How can we help you now, Tahira?” Dad asked. “We can worry about college later, but what about the competition? Is it too late to go back?”
I hadn’t even imagined that as a possibility. “Probably. The competition is tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow morning.” Dad checked something on his phone. “Bakewell is only an hour and a half from here, and I love night driving. It’s been a while since we had a Janmohammad mini vacation. Sabina, Sharmin has a spare room, doesn’t she?”
“Um,” Samaya said. “Do I have to go?”
I straightened. “You guys would be willing to take me back to Bakewelltonight?”
Mom checked her phone. “I don’t have any meetings tomorrow.”
Samaya raised a brow. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Mom.”
“Yes, and I work for a hotel company. Hotels are open Saturdays.” She nodded at Dad. “We can go to Bakewell for the weekend.”
“All of us?” Samaya asked again.
Dad glared at her. “Yes, all of us. You can survive one weekend without your video games.”
I shook my head. “I can’t—I need to go to this bookstore at three to get a signed book. Leanne was going to drive to the city to get it tomorrow because it’s Juniper’s favorite author, but since I asked Leanne to take my place in the Bloom, I said I’d do it.”
Samaya’s hand shot to her mouth. “Oh my God, that’s adorable. She was going to drive all that way to get her friend a book?”
“Just call the bookstore,” Mom said. “They can have the author sign it and then mail it to you. They do things like this all the time.”
That would solve that problem. I assumed Gia would want to stay and still go to the rooftop party tomorrow night, though. I doubted Dasha would go ahead with the interview without me, so Matteo would lose that opportunity, but I honestly didn’t care if the guy who cheated on me lost a Dasha Payne profile. “But would the team even want me back?”
“Tahira—come on.” Mom smiled. “Call your friends! The worst they can say is no, and then you’ll be no more miserable than you are now.”
