The question hung between us like a challenge, and I realized I’d been avoiding asking myself that exact question for weeks.
“I thought I did,” I said slowly. “Before. Before Declan, before all this, before I remembered what it felt like to be part of a community instead of just surviving in one.”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t know,” I admitted. “The job is everything I trained for. Big city, high-profile clients, the kind of career that would make my college professors proud and my bank account happy.”
“But?”
“But it’s not here,” I said, the words coming out in a rush. “It’s not this town, or these people, or this life where I know my neighbors and coordinate Christmas festivals and fall asleep listening to actual silence instead of sirens.”
“And Declan isn’t there,” Matt added gently.
“And Declan isn’t there,” I agreed, feeling my eyes fill with tears that had been threatening all day. “God, Matt, what if I’m falling in love with him? What if this isn’t just holiday romance or small-town nostalgia? What if it’s real, and I’m about to screw it up by chasing a job I’m not even sure I want anymore?”
Matt handed me a napkin from the cookie station, apparently prepared for the emotional breakdown that had been building all evening.
“Have you considered,” he said carefully, “that maybe the fact that you’re questioning the job means you already know what you want?”
“But what if I’m wrong?” I said, dabbing at my eyes and probably ruining whatever was left of my makeup. “What if I turn down Chicago and then things don’t work out with Declan? Or he goes back to New York, which is a very real probability? What if I’m giving up my career for a Christmas romance that doesn’t survive past New Year’s?”
“What if you take the job and spend the rest of your life wondering what might have happened if you’d been braveenough to stay?” Matt countered. “What if you’re giving up love for a career that doesn’t make you happy?”
Love. The word hit me harder than it should have, probably because it was exactly what I’d been trying not to think about.
“I don’t know if it’s love,” I said weakly.
“Holly,” Matt said, “you are considering staying instead of going back to Chicago because of him.”
Okay, he had a point.
“This is a disaster,” I mumbled into my palms.
“This is love,” Matt corrected gently. “Messy, complicated, public love in a small town where everyone’s invested in your happiness. Which, for the record, is not a disaster. It’s actually pretty amazing.”
I looked up at him, and he was smiling with the kind of fond expression that suggested he was genuinely happy for me despite my obvious emotional chaos.
“But what about Chicago?” I asked. “The interview is tomorrow. I can’t just not show up.”
“You could,” Matt pointed out. “People cancel interviews all the time.”
“But what if?—”
“Holly,” Matt interrupted firmly, “stop thinking about what-ifs and start thinking about what you actually want. Not what you think you should want, or what would look good on your resume, or what would make other people proud. What do you want?”
What did I want? The question should have been simple, but it felt enormous.
I wanted to wake up in Everdale Falls and know that I belonged here. I wanted to plan more festivals, coordinate more community events, and be part of something that mattered to people I cared about. I wanted to build a life that felt real instead of just professionally successful.
And I wanted Declan. I wanted him to stay in Vermont, and I wanted to find out if what was happening between us could survive past the holidays and turn into something permanent and wonderful.
“I want to stay,” I said quietly, the words feeling both terrifying and exactly right. “I want to build a life here, with him, if he wants that too.”
“Then stay,” Matt said simply. “Cancel the interview, tell Declan how you feel, and stop letting fear make your decisions for you.”
“But what if?—”
“Holly,” Matt snapped with exasperation, “you’re twenty-eight years old, you’re brilliant, and you’re finally in a place where you’re happy. Stop sabotaging yourself with hypothetical disasters and start trusting that you deserve good things.”
