“Next time, don’t interrupt me.”
The following chapter contains content that will be very triggering for some readers, including on page sexual trauma involving a child, by way of a flashback.
Reader discretion is advised.
AGE SIX
“Padre! I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me here.”
He slams the closet door shut without a word. It’s dark and scary here. Mama says I get in trouble so much, because I do things without thinking about the consequences. I scream. I cry. I beg, but he doesn’t come back.
“One hundred. Ninety-Nine. Ninety-Eight.”
When I’m scared, I count backwards to settle my mind. Everybody thinks it’s weird, but it helps me. I’ve heard them talk about me.
Padre talks to Zio about me, and how I’m not like the others. I have four brothers I’m not allowed to see, because they wouldn’t like me. They’re good and I’m bad, Zio says.
‘Strong boys become strong men, Raven. You’re weak. Bonetti men are not fragile. They don’t act without thinking. They control their impulses, and don’t act like reckless fools.’
I cry out as I wrap my arms around my legs, and keep counting.
“Seventy-six.”
Wiping the mixture of snot and tears on my face with my shirt sleeve, I flinch when the door opens. It’s not Padre, it’s Zio, and I know he will let me out, but it’s going to hurt. I don’t mind the pain. It’s better than being locked in the dark. I don’t like being trapped in small places, but it’s worse without lights.
“Are you ready to become a man, Nipote?”
He called me nephew instead of what he usually calls me.
Bastardo.
I nod quickly as I get to my feet. That is exactly what I want. If I become what they want me to be, I’ll be like my brothers. Massimo, Lorenzo, Luca, and even Nico are stronger than I am. Nico and I share the same birthday, and are the youngest, but we have different moms.
He waves for me to come out of the closet, and I wait with tense muscles for the beating, but it doesn’t come.
“Kneel on the bench.”
I glance around the room in confusion. There’s the weight bench that Padre uses when he’s here for working out. That must be what he means, although I don’t understand why he wants me there. I’m not allowed on it.
Walking over to the bench, I climb on it and get on my knees, as Zio Frank comes over to me, and unzips his pants.
‘One hundred. Ninety-nine.’
He strokes himself in front of my face, and his expression is angry, but sure about what he’s doing.
“Nico didn’t do this. Only you, because I’m going to train you to be my special boy. You want to be Zio’s special boy, don’t you, Raven?”
My mouth is dry as I try to speak, and the words get trapped in my throat, but finally I’m able to ask my question.
“What do I have to do?”
He brushes a tear from my eye, and it’s the only compassionate gesture I’ve gotten from him.
“Open your mouth. Zio will do all the work for you.”
When I do, he pushes himself into my mouth, as I jerk back in shock. Reaching up, Frank grabs the back of my hair, and pushes my head forward until I’m gagging.
His grunts fill the room as I squeeze my eyes shut, so I can’t see what he’s doing to me. The taste of salty bitterness floods my mouth, and I gag. Pulling out of my mouth, he holds my lips closed.
