"What can I do for her?" The words faltered at the end, but Archer seemed to understand them anyway.
"You don't ride her, Aika." He smoothed his hand over my back. "She's not up for it. We'll do all we can for her in the meantime."
But the delivery. It didn't have to be tomorrow, but if not, when? Winter was almost upon us, less than a week away. I had to make this delivery, and I had to do it soon.
The immediacy of the situation, the stress at seeing Hellbreath, the toll just coming out here had on my healing body—all of it loosened my knees. I slumped, but Archer was there to keep me upright with his big, warm hands.
“Hey, whoa. I got you.”
He did, but I had to have myself too. There were too many lives depending on me.
I had to still try to make the delivery, with or without Hellbreath.
My mind spun on possible solutions until I pinpointed one that just might work. "What if… What if there was another way for me to get there, like if you two pulled me there on a sleigh or something? You could stop before they scented you, or before you scented them rather, and then aim me in the right direction." I blurted it all so fast that I wasn't even sure I understood it.
"No." Grady paced away, his bum leg dragging over the loose hay on the ground, and then back again. "Terrible idea."
"What? Why?" I demanded.
"Because you barely made it out here," he growled. “You’re not even healed yet.”
Archer slipped his arm tighter around my shoulders, enveloping me in his warmth and comfort. "Even if we did it that way, you'd have to walk at least a mile, maybe more, depending on the wind and how far our scents carry, with nothing to guide you."
"Wrong,” I said, my voice hard. “I'd have myself, my hearing, and my sense of smell. I'll even bring a walking stick to help me."
"The terrain is rough,” Grady said. “Steep valleys slick with snow and frozen streams. If you fall—"
"I won't."
"Then we would come and help her. Fuck the risks, Grady," Archer snapped.
"And if your girlfriend can't cry out for help because she slipped and split her head open on a rock?” Grady asked. “What then, lover boy? I'm not sticking my neck out for someone like her."
Archer released a warning growl as he released me and took a step toward him. "Leave. Now."
Someone like me. Human? Blind? Useless?
I crushed my back teeth together while fury sizzled up right underneath my skin. "Part of why I'm going there is for you, to find your alpha. To find Thomas."
"Bull. Shit,” Grady said through gritted teeth. “It's all for you. As soon as you get your money, you'll forget all about us. Next spring, your pa will continue to make the poison that helped slaughter most of my pack and keep others away, and you'll help and not even think twice about it."
"Don't you say that,” I shouted. “Don't even pretend to think you know me."
With a furious snarl, Archer drove Grady into the barnyard wall to my left hard enough to shake through the foundation. "Grady.Go."
"With pleasure," Grady hissed and stomp-limped to the doors. He must’ve forgotten his walking stick. "Have fun with your plaything."
"Your alpha's probably already dead," I called after him, the words bitter and sharp, and I knew he heard me because he stood in the doorway for a long moment before leaving, just as silent and cold as his heart.
I'd hurt him, and that filled me with a dark sort of glee.
The next morning, I woke early and dressed in as many clothes as were in the small chest of drawers in my room. Not my room, even though I'd come to call it that these last several days. Soon, I was ready to go to Old Man’s Den, ready to get this charade over with so I could get paid and leave here for good. Leave Grady and the horrible way he made me feel. Leave Sasha. Leave Hellbreath. And leave Archer.
Those last two would be the hardest. Archer’s warmth and easy nature had slipped underneath my skin and heated through all the way to my soul. He felt perfect there, like that was where he'd always been. So to go someplace else where he hadn't saturated the place with his smell and laughter and stories… I might only see him a few more brief times before the long winter—if that—and it scratched deep claws down my heart even more painful than the real, healing ones on my flesh.
And Hellbreath… She wouldn’t be able to travel back home if she was so sick. As hard as it was to fathom life without her, she’d be well taken care of here. If she survived the winter, I would come back for her. No question.
With the mission to go find a walking stick first, I stepped into the hallway and then paused outside Sasha's door. I had to say a quick goodbye. I hoped I could see her again, in the special way that I could, because I wanted to watch her grow and shift when the time came. She, too, had wriggled her way into my life, and I'd miss her.
