Adrian sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business who you fucked. You don’t owe me any explanations. Obviously.”
“I know that.”
“And I’m sorry he’s gotten the wrong idea about us, if that messes things up for you. I did try to explain that it was all for content.”
Was that why he’d said those things?
My hands were clenched so tightly around the wheel my fingers throbbed. “I heard you.”
“Then why are you coming to my place? And did you happen to notice I didn’t invite you?”
I struggled with what to say or whether to speak at all.
Part of me wanted to say that I cared about his feelings. About why he seemed to be hiding so much.
But I also didn’t want to say anything. Wanted to lose myself in his body again and take what I needed from him as long as he was willing to give it.
Instead of either of those things, I gave him a sliver of my trust.
“My parents died,” I said stupidly, telling him something he already knew. I swallowed the nerves climbing up my throat and continued. “Car accident on the mountain pass. They were, uh… coming back from a suppliers’ convention in Billings. Black ice.” I shook my head. “It was awful. I…”
Adrian’s hand landed warm and solid on my leg and squeezed gently. “Fuck, Maddox. I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head. “It’s not… I don’t…” I shook my head again. “I’m not still grieving them like that. Not like I was at first. I mean, I have good days and bad, but it’s not about their death anymore. It’s more… I worry about letting them down. With the store and with Maya. But also…”
I pulled in front of his rental and threw the vehicle into Park before rubbing my hands over my face and turning to meet his eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I’m doing what I ‘should’ do,” I said, using air quotes, “and then my mom’s voice is in my head telling me none of that stuff matters and to do what makes me happy.”
Adrian reached over and ran his hand over my head and down into the hair at the base of my skull. “And then you loop yourselfin circles wondering what the fuck happy even is,” he said with a gentle smile.
“Yeah. That.”
“I know what you mean. I feel like happy is a moving target. Some days, I think I’m happy doing what I do, traveling and meeting people all over the world, and then some days… some days, I wonder what the fuck I’ve gotten myself into. Some days, I loathe it.”
Adrian’s fingers toyed with the hair at my collar, sending goose bumps all over my skin. My eyes met his, and heat flooded my veins.
“What would make you happyright now?” My voice sounded whiskey-soaked and rough. At this point, I was barely keeping it together. I wanted him desperately.
His jaw flexed. “To stop imagining that rancher’s hands on you.”
“I don’t want Nate’s hands on me, Hayes,” I admitted, not looking away from him.
Adrian’s eyes moved to my mouth, and his nostrils flared. “If you come inside with me, you’re staying.”
I glanced back at him as I reached for the door handle. “Maybe this time, you’ll do a better job of wearing me out.”
#SleighBellsRing #FuckNate #ColdConfessions #YesPlease
13
#HOTINSIDE
ADRIAN
The momentwe stepped inside my rental cabin, the atmosphere shifted from charged to combustible. Snow from our boots melted into puddles on the hardwood floor, but neither of us moved to take off our coats. We stood there in the entryway, breathing hard, while unspoken words hung between us like a live wire, dangerous and electric.
“Hayes,” Maddox said, my name rough on his tongue.
I reached for him, my hands fisting in the front of his flannel shirt. “If you’re about to spout some nonsense about suddenly needing to get back to the store, fuck off,” I grumbled before pressing my lips to his in a hard kiss.
